Pop Culture

This Regular Guy Has Slept With More Celebrities Than Anyone Else

By Sarcasm Society - February 11, 2019

Believe it or not, this average fella has slept with more famous people than anyone else on the planet. Average Rob has almost 300k followers on Instagram, and for good reason. So that you can see how many celebrities he’s slept with. And the list is quite impressive. Take a look for yourself.

Be warned, this is exactly what it sounds like. There is no exaggeration to be found. This unassuming gentleman has actually slept with every person on this list. It sounds unbelievable, but it’s true. Some guys have all the luck. No one knows how he does it, but he does… a lot.

Taylor Swift

Credits: https://www.instagram.com/p/BTUI2sWhC5k/

You might know Taylor Swift as the person who has a long list of boyfriends that we’re kind of endlessly tired of hearing about. She writes a song about every single one of them, and then you hear it on the radio so many times you can’t decide if it’s catchy or if you want to smash your stereo in.

Well, Taylor Swift hasn’t written a song about every person that she’s slept with. Average Rob didn’t get a mention in one of her songs, although you can clearly see that they’re sleeping together here.

Barack Obama

Credits: https://www.instagram.com/p/BPQJIZChUlf/

How does he even find the time to sleep with all these celebrities? Obama is at his best now that he’s no longer president, so this has to be the crown jewel of Rob’s collection. Unless he also slept with the Queen, in which case he may have literally gotten a crown jewel.

Ha, ha. We’re sorry about that one. But seriously, we’re sort of just jealous that Rob is getting all this action with all these high profile people and we’re just sitting here with no one to Netflix and chill with.

Batman And Superman

Credits: https://www.instagram.com/p/BDWHM0GoJA6/

We thought that sleeping with Obama might have been Rob’s greatest accomplishment, but we take it back. This is Rob’s greatest accomplishment. You may be asking yourself, “Wait a minute. Why isn’t he sleeping in this picture?”

Because Batman sleeps during the day. The night is for justice (and prom poses). He clearly slept with Batman during the hours the sun was out. Hope the Wayne Mansion has some powerful blackout curtains. Can’t have that light keeping them up.

Selena Gomez

Credits: https://www.instagram.com/p/BRYrdMRhmuW/

As if Tay Tay wasn’t enough, here he is also getting cozy with SeGo (is that what the kids are calling her? If not, they should). She doesn’t seem to be that into it, though. Doesn’t matter. Had nap.

We didn’t claim that he was good while sleeping with the celebs, just that he did. Which he totally did. You can see it in this image right here. You have no claim to doubt him otherwise now, got it?

Margot Robbie

Credits: https://www.instagram.com/p/BRlhVhaBVku/

What a power couple this could be. Rob and Robbie would make “Robbbie.” The tabloids would love it… especially this shot of him sleeping with all these dogs. We’d be awake if we were around all those cute puppies, but maybe he had a long day.

Or maybe he just loves sleeping with celebs too much. Some guys are simply insatiable. Alas, this power couple wouldn’t last. He’d be too busy finding other famous people to go sleep with.

David Beckham

Credits: https://www.instagram.com/p/BUMyWeEBh56/

Average Rob is a modern man. To cement his record, he even sleeps with male celebrities. A lot of them. Hey, sometimes you want to be the little teaspoon. Or sleep next to David Beckham doing his super model thing.

Just look at that stud in this photo. Who wouldn’t want to sleep next to them? Also in this photo is David Beckham. We see how Average Rob does it. He has a very specific appeal when he’s unconscious.

Ryan Reynolds

Credits: https://www.instagram.com/p/BRtQTntBBTQ/

Sexiest Man Of The Year? More like cuddliest. Ryan is the absolute best. He’s such a teddy bear he manifests them to keep him company as he watches over Rob while he slumbers.

This is the kind of guy you want to sleep with. He makes you feel warm and safe. Plus, he’s funny. Not that that matters all that much. It’s hard to appreciate a good sense of humor when you’re out cold.

Yeezzzzzzy

Credits: https://www.instagram.com/p/BR8qx8uhfbA/

“Hey, I’m gonna let you finish dozing. I don’t mean to interrupt. But I just had the best dream of all time…” This is a slumber party that we’d like to get invited to. Except the sleeping arrangements don’t look all too comfortable.

Also, Kanye would probably wake you up a million times to tell you another one of his ideas. It’d be interesting and even awesome, to be sure. But Rob just wants to sleep with them, so on to the next!

Eminem

Credits: https://www.instagram.com/p/BMEpdzIhqYE/

His knees are weak. His palms are sweaty. Sounds like someone’s been working too hard, already. Time to get a little shut eye. Look at them, being buddies. How adorable. Mr. Mathers seems like he’s angry, but that’s just a front.

He’s a big softie underneath that gruff exterior of his. You can make all the intricate, angry rhymes you want, Slim Shady, but we see through you. You love sleeping with Rob just like everyone else, and we don’t blame you.

Adele

Credits: https://www.instagram.com/p/BDlUW-LoJDF/

We’re only going to give this one half credit. He was going to sleep with Adele, but you try getting forty winks when she hogs the whole couch. Stick to your section, Adele. You can still say hello from the other side.

Look, we know Adele’s heart was broken, so she’s likely hesitant to become emotionally available enough to sleep with someone new. We get it. And in this case, those suspicions are warranted. Rob really gets around with his sleeping.

Mila Kunis

Credits: https://www.instagram.com/p/BMPDoxWBdXH/

Be careful who you sleep with. Especially if you don’t know them that well. You never know what you might wake up with. But we’d probably happily take this tattoo if it meant sleeping with Mila Kunis.

Heck, we’d get a whole sleeve’s worth on our cheeks just to sleep with her again and again. But this is where Rob will end things. So many celebrities to sleep with and so little time. He has to wash this off and move on.

Belgian Red Devils

Credits: https://www.instagram.com/p/BGj3TlVoJAl/

Who are you to judge? If he wants to sleep with the whole soccer team, that’s his choice. He can make his own decisions. He’s a fully grown man. Though he definitely is showing the marks from it.

He should really use some protection when sleeping with celebrities that are a bit more rowdy. Like, a ski mask or something. You have to protect that face of yours, Rob. No one will want to sleep with you if you’re covered in those marks.

Justin Bieber

Credits: https://www.instagram.com/p/BBF1k9iIJLR/

Try to be responsible. After you woke up with something unexpected after sleeping with a person, be sure to tell others you sleep with in the future. No need to pass that pain along on to them.

Yeah, you might think this is funny, but it’s serious business. Bieber might wind up passing this along to the next person who sleeps with him, and so on and so forth. It’s a vicious cycle. Shame on you, Rob. Shame on you.

Cast Of 'The Hangover'

Credits: https://www.instagram.com/p/__rdQ8oJNd/

The list of celebrities Rob’s slept with is truly staggering. While fun, it’s not always easy. As you see, he sometimes learns to “ragret” it. But usually, he doesn’t, because he’s too busy having the time of his life.

He must have a great face wash. We’ve seen him in need of removing all sorts of ink, and he does it in time to sleep with a fresh new batch of celebrities. Care to share, pal?

Eleven

Credits: https://www.instagram.com/p/BMhDxZFBelc/

Okay, this one is just wrong. How can you sleep by Eleven? Seriously… with all the demons and agents out to get her, how is that even possible? It seems like we’ve entered into the upside down, here, guys.

Still, Rob gives us hope. Celebrities seem like a different species, that exist outside of our realm of understanding. Yet Rob is just an average man and he’s been in bed with almost all of them. You’re an inspiration to us all.