This ‘Game Of Thrones’ Mashup With The Olympics Gets A Gold Medal In Awesome
Game of Thrones is a worldwide phenomenon. Everyone is obsessed with the mind-bogglingly gigantic cast of fleshed out (and sometimes, un-fleshed, RIP) characters in the world of Westeros. But you know what else is a worldwide phenomenon? The Olympics. They’ve been popular almost as long as recorded time. Why are we bringing up the Olympics in the same conversation as the wildly popular HBO series? Because some genius decided to mash them up, and the results are spectacular.
Imgur user beefykrazo photoshopped GOT characters performing various Olympic games. Did you ever wonder what it would look like if the Greyjoy siblings did tandem, rhythmic gymnastics? Or how the current Lady of Winterfell Sansa Stark would do playing volleyball? If so, first of all… whoa, those are some crazy specific fantasies, friend. But second of all, your wish has been granted. These are the Photoshops that’ve been promised. So prepare yourself… for the Olympics are coming.
When it comes to love, politics and the life of Wildlings, Jon Snow knows nothing.
But when it comes to gymnastics on the rings, he’s apparently an expert. Yet he still looks confused, though that just might be his resting face.
We’ve learned that he’s the secret, legitimate heir to the Iron Throne, so it’s nice to see how nimble he is. Last thing we’d want is for him to clumsily slip onto a chair made out of swords.
Oh hey, look, it’s everyone’s favorite, adorable, mini-assassin that used to be No One with a capital ‘N’ and ‘O.’
So, if she were to compete in the Olympics, what sport would she participate in? Isn’t it obvious?
Her signature sword her (we all thought at the time) half-brother Jon Snow gave her, Needle, looks like a fencing sword already, so this is absolutely perfect. And as we’ve seen time and again, she’s great at sticking people with the pointy end.
Theon And Yara Greyjoy
Ah, the Greyjoy siblings. What is dead may never die, but those outfits will never not look fly.
They come from a dreary land of pirates, but that doesn’t mean they can’t find the time to wear some dope leotards and practice some rhythmic gymnastics.
They’ve had their differences over the series, but now seem to be on the same page. They’re going to need to keep that up if they hope to capture the gold in tandems competition.
Sandor ‘The Hound’ Clegane
Is there any better motivator for moving on and living well in life than revenge?
The Hound has a bone to pick with his (undead?) older brother the Mountain, but he’s on the other side of the continent at the moment.
If he wants to attack him, he’ll need to practice using ranged attacks, so throwing discs is great to prepare. This looks like it’ll build up a mighty hunger, though, so he’s gonna probably eat some chickens after this.
Have you ever watched swimmers in the Olympics and thought that their revealing outfits might make some of them feel a little shy and exposed?
Well, the red witch that serves the Lord of Light likely thinks this isn’t revealing enough.
Seriously, she loves to de-robe. Let’s just hope she remembers to wear her magic amulet around her neck, otherwise she’ll turn back into an old hag. That has to make it harder for her to make those precise dives.
Petyr ‘Littlefinger’ Baelish
Littlefinger has been a master manipulator throughout the entire series. But how does he keep in shape?
We know he works out his mind with all his schemes, but to make sure his body is also healthy, looks like he runs marathons.
Power walking is perfect when you’re also power tripping. His plans have legs, and boy does he. Look at those quads on his gams. Who knew he was rocking those stumps under his tunics this whole time?
Hey, where is the right hand on this… oh. Yeah, whoops. Sorry. We kinda forgot about that.
Well, luckily for javelin throwing, you only need one hand. You’ll do just fine, Jaime. You’re already golden, anyway, you Lannister, you.
Maybe he’s not the fighter or athlete he once was, but he’s had the most heroic and dynamic character arc in the entire series. Can the Olympics hand out medals for emotional feats as well as physical ones? He’s earned it.
The Night King
Jaime Lannister would do okay in the javelin toss, but the Night King would win, hands down.
Oh, we just made another Jaime hand joke. Our bad. It just kind of slipped out. You know who’s not laughing? The lord of the undead, here.
We saw how great he is at throwing pointy projectiles. Winning a gold medal for this skill would be nice, but he won something even better. He won himself a real live dragon. Well… maybe not “live” anymore.
This guy has said time and time again everything that he does is motivated by gaining gold.
But who knew that it was motivated by gaining the gold? He’s sold his sword skills to anyone willing to buy ever since season one.
But now he’s showing off a different type of athletic feat, and peddling his feet instead of his murder abilities. Sure, he’s not the most honorable man in the world, but when riding bikes, he’s still at least more fair than Lance Armstrong.
The master of spies and whispers in Westeros has earned himself the nickname of “The Spider.”
You’d think that spiders wouldn’t fare too well in the water, what with songs like “The Itsy Bitsy Spider” talking about them being washed away.
But Varys is completely hairless, which means he’s super aerodynamic. He’s already perfectly suited to compete in a swim race. He might even win, since he can blackmail everyone else into throwing the race for fear of their secrets becoming public.
Let’s have ourselves a little chat about Theon and Yara’s murderous pirate uncle, old Euron Greyjoy.
In the books, he’s totally terrifying in an awesome way. He has an eye patch, has survived horrors around the world the show can’t even comprehend and even has a horn that can control dragons.
In the show… he’s a Jack Sparrow knockoff. He’s a bit showy, flashy and goofy. Yeah, figure skating would be perfect for him. Have fun, buddy, at least someone is.
Remember all the way back at the beginning of the series how little Sansa was?
She’s grown a ton emotionally… but she’s also literally grown up physically. Seriously, she’s like a powerful, leather-clad Lady of Winterfell political genius giraffe.
She’s become a major player in the Game of Thrones, but she could also be a major player in the game of volleyball. She’s shown herself an excellent strategist and leader of battles, so this should be no sweat for her (not that she sweats much in the North. Brrrrr).
The Onion Knight has to be one of the most lovable characters in the entire series.
He’s like everyone’s grandpa… if everyone’s grandpa was a former sea faring thief who lost a few of his fingers as punishment for his crimes.
It’s shocking he’s survived this long. Davos seems to have a way of ducking and weaving his way through dangerous situations. He’s a real gymnast in that way, so might as well make him a real gymnast in this pic.
Let’s take a moment to remember our boy Daario. He’s not dead, he was just left behind.
He should consider himself lucky. When you miss a character in this show, it’s because their head is no longer connected to their neck.
He just got left behind in Essos while his dragon queen and lover went on to Westeros without him. He will be remembered as a nimble assassin, taking leaps of faith and love, and also for the gold here.
Podrick started as a young squire to Tyrion Lannister and became possibly the most interesting man in Westeros.
He’s a famed lover of ladies, he’s become a capable fighter under the tutelage of Brienne of Tarth and we just learned he has an incredible singing voice.
So it’s no surprise to learn he’s also great at rowing. There’s nothing he can’t do. Although, when it comes to rowing, no one can beat Gendry, who was seemingly off rowing for like three seasons a while back.
The only contender Podrick would have for being the most unlikley interesting man in Westeros has to be Sam.
He started as a sniveling coward, then he became the first person to kill a White Walker, learning their weakness to dragon glass.
He also became a learned man at the Citadel and has a great relationship with Gilly and his adoptive son, Little Sam. So can he be a great shot putter? Never underestimate Sam the Slayer ever again.
Part of being a great leader is knowing how to surround yourself with a great council.
Dany is great because she keeps great company like Missandei. She speaks seemingly every language there is to know in the world of GoT.
But it also looks like she knows how to contort her body as well as her tongue. When you’re helping a dragon lady conquer the world, it seems like you have to have many talents to stay in her Grace’s good graces.
Aw, let’s all take a moment of silence for Ser Friend Zone’s chances for getting with Dany.
We knew it was never going to happen, and we just wish someone would have explained that to him much earlier.
But he proved himself worthy and valuable to her. Maybe not gold medal valuable, but though he tumbled and bent over backwards and flipped allegiances throughout the show like a gymnast, he at least won the silver medal of her heart, which is better than nothing.
What is Tormund doing here? This doesn’t seem like the type of event that would best suit his skills ans strengths.
We could take a wild(ling) guess and assume that he’s doing this to get closer to Brienne.
He’s completely love-struck by his “big woman,” and it’s kind of adorable. He’s respectful, and super supportive of her. Did you see how genuinely pleased he was while she was knighted by Jaime? No jealousy, only joy. This man is a feminist icon.
Brienne of Tarth
And how could Tormund not be smitten by this mighty woman? Just look at her strength?
Yeah, those two would have some exceptional children. We can still hope that it happens… assuming they survive to the end of the show.
Imagine the genetic specimens these two would have. They’re both already gold medal caliber athletes themselves. But combined? Yeah, they’d not only win the gold, but could even win the iron… throne. That’s a ruler we could all get behind.
He drinks and he knows things, but did you know that in the books he’s also known for his tumbling abilities?
It’s a trait that didn’t make it into the show, but this man of little stature has some impressive leaping abilities.
Why not put that to use in the Olympics? Look at the ups he can get. He’s already cleared so many figurative bars in the show, so it only makes sense he can clear some literal ones.
Though his legs don’t work, that doesn’t mean Bran Stark can’t compete in the Special Olympics.
Although we don’t know what event he would compete in. There isn’t a “stare silently into infinity and make creepy comments” competition, is there?
He could always warg into a wolf and win a footrace that way. Does that count, though? There are a lot of Olympic commissions to determine cheating in the games, but that usually involves substances, not weird, psychic abilities.
If Westeros has a Tonya Harding, it’s definitely Cersei Lannister. She will do anything to ensure she wins.
But while Tonya Harding hired someone to attack the knee of her biggest rival, Cersei would go much, much further.
She would have them executed, along with their entire lineage and anyone who happens to annoy her that day. The poor judges that would have to score this routine. If they give anything less than a 10, they’re for sure going to meet a grisly end.
Finally, for our last competitor we have (*inhales deeply*) Queen Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen.
The First of Her Name. Queen of the Andals, the Rhoynar and the First Men. Lady of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm.
Lady of Dragonstone, Queen of Meereen, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, the Unburnt, Breaker of Chains and Mother of Dragons (*exhales profusely*). Oh, wait. We also have to add fierce dancer to that list. Ugh. Okay, let’s start over from the top…