Articles

Things in Life That Make A Little TOO Much Sense

By Psquared - June 26, 2019
Credits: http://thechive.com

The world is full of mysteries. How was the universe formed? Why are we here? Are there higher powers at play, pulling our strings like puppet masters? Are they benevolent or malevolent? Would we be able to correctly spell benevolent or malevolent if it weren’t for spellcheck guiding our letters like supportive parents teaching their kids how to ride a tricycle, even though they should have already known how to ride that tricycle for decades by this point? Why is the first bite of pizza always the best?

As you can see, it’s easy to fall deep into a rabbit hole of unanswerable questions. We have to live our lives knowing that we’re never going to have all of the answers. But sometimes… some glorious times we get some answers. And when we do, we can rejoice! Let’s all appreciate these moments where in this universe full of uncertainties that things start to finally make sense.

If You Say So

Credits: http://imgur.com

There are certain things in this life that can go without mentioning. This is certainly one of those things.

This seems like some 20-something mom sewed this into the back of their shirt as a reminder to their well-meaning but dense offspring.

What other notes must they place around the house for them? “Eat when hungry” on food? “Use when you want to go up/down” on the stairs? With all that reminding necessary, we’re surprised they can even read.

Hot Pocket

Credits: http://imgur.com

No one has, not once in their entire lives, made an evenly cooked Hot Pocket.

The outside edges are like the arctic tundra. The top inside layer is like the melted mush on the ground five days after a snow storm.

And the inside? Picture your crush in their bathing suit. Now picture them in the desert. Now picture that desert is located on Venus in the middle of summer. Yeah… it’s that hot. Yet we still eat them.

Come Play With Us

Credits: http://imgur.com

It’s because you can run there forever, and ever and ever. If you don’t get the obvious Shining reference, shame on you.

We’re not mad, we’re just jealous. We haven’t been able to enjoy a hotel ever since seeing that movie.

We’re always afraid we’re going to be murdered, whether we’re staying at a five star resort full of fun, fancy activities or a rundown motel where drug deals occur constantly. Actually… that last one, death may actually be on the table.

Savage

Credits: http://imgur.com

This is pretty brutal, but shouldn’t it be the other way around? Maybe the South Koreans should be encouraging heavier people to take the stairs.

Plus, there is that bar in the middle of the escalator, meaning that you have got to be narrow enough to get through.

We’re not sure what the point of this is other than to create chaos and panic. Was this designed by The Joker? Good on him for getting his architecture license. Heaven help us all.

Makes Sense

Credits: http://twitter.com

This is the dog version of that old joke, “Why do we park in a driveway but drive in a parkway?”

This also reminds us of that fact we all learned at the same time while watching D2: The Mighty Ducks 2.

Greenland is full of ice. While Iceland is very nice. We’re not sure who’s in charge of naming stuff, but maybe it’s time for them to go home. They seem to be at least tipsy if not full on drunk.

Just A Fart In The Wind

Credits: http://imgur.com

Never thought about it that way, but it is. Now, we’ve heard of electronic voice phenomenon, but is there an olfactory way to measure if you’re behind is haunted?

Next time you let one loose, listen carefully for voices.

Is that your grandmother trying to reach you, or should you just not have eaten that entire carton of sauerkraut? We’ve heard of ghosts in the machine, but this is something much scarier. How do you exorcise them? We shudder to think about it.

If Only

Credits: http://reddit.com

“Oh, would you look at that. Another person recklessly and suddenly changed lanes in front of me unexpectedly and almost caused a 90 car pileup.

These automobiles oughta have a feature in them that could at least warn other motorists what’s on their mind.

Hey, what’s this lever by the wheel. Why, it’s a blinking arrow! I didn’t know my car was so fancy. Wait… you’re saying every car has one. Hmmm… that can’t be true. Surely, they’d use it then.”

The Sting Of A Lifetime

Credits: http://imgur.com

Yes, nothing beats the sting of pure alcohol on a fresh paper cut. You’ll be quoting lines from The Exorcist after rubbing your palms together with this stuff … “It burns! It burns!”

This is almost as scary as staying at a hotel after seeing The Shining.

Things really are starting to make a little too much sense. Horror movies are only scary because they remind us of what’s going on in real life, which is spookier than any demon could ever possibly be.

Finally Explained

Credits: http://reddit.com

Have you ever seen someone with huge gauge earrings and wondered why anyone would ever want such a huge hole in their heads?

Well, maybe those people see folks like you constantly dropping and losing your headphones and they wonder why anyone would ever deal with such an easily solved problem.

Of course, by “easily solved” we mean “take years to slowly but surely stretch out the hole in your ears until you can fit electronics through it.” Same basic thing.

Checks Out

Credits: http://reddit.com

Learning is fun. Isn’t science just the neatest thing in the whole wide world, friends?

Well, it’s fun and neat when it doesn’t involve your crush becoming a dark, brooding vigilante every single time you come anywhere near them.

On the flip side, if your crush suddenly starts sounding like Mickey Mouse on helium, that means you’re totally in. Of course, you’ll have to put up with that unbearable noise, so it’s a catch 22 either way you look at it.

Duh

Credits: http://reddit.com

We’re not going to pretend, we absolutely adore Keanu Reeves and the ground he walks on.

But what keeps him on that ground? Yeah, that does make sense. Sure, it’s common knowledge. But when Keanu says it, it sounds so much more profound, doesn’t it?

Keanu could read the phone book and sound like Socrates. He probably learned that trick when he met Socrates traveling with his buddy Bill back in time. We loved that documentary he was in from back in the ’80s.

My Shart Only Belongs To You

Credits: http://imgur.com

Whatever company is behind this filthy pastry really dropped the ball when it came down to the presentation.

Or should we say they dropped a load? Because that’s definitely what looks like is happening here, which is anything but appetizing.

Chocolate frosting inside something that resembles a shapely pink bottom is a recipe for anal eruption. While these make for a fun prank idea, when you’re in the mood for a tasty sweet treat, this ain’t what you wanna see.

Bring Home The Bacon

Credits: http://imgur.com

Do you think that Meatloaf would smell better than Kevin Bacon? People with a sweet tooth may think that John Candy smelled the best.

Vegans, on the other hand, probably think Halle Berry smells divine. What about Emma Stone?

She probably smells… neutral? You see where we’re going with this. Also, because it’s a rule of the universe, in case you were wondering, Emma Stone was in Crazy, Stupid Love with Kevin Bacon, so that’s just one degree of separation. Or zero degrees. We’re not sure how that works.

Take Notes

Credits: http://twitter.com

Dang, we’re learning all sorts of things today about how people act when they’re smitten.

Of course, everyone is different. What if you meet a girl who’s speaking with a high-pitched voice but is just being friendly, or one with a Batman voice acting weird and making you uncomfortable?

We guess you just can never really know for sure. You could always just throw caution to the wind and ask, but that’s just crazy talk. Keep guessing using these guidelines.

That's Probably A Good Idea

Credits: http://thechive.com

We don’t think the majority of the population of decent human beings needs to be reminded of this. We got it.

But still, you never can be too careful. If it prevents even one pen getting stuck in a child by a confused person, then this warning was worth it.

Of course, whoever put this on may try to take responsibility for the lack of pens in kids. As if it was their doing and not people just not thinking about it… until this gave them that terrible idea.

Tear Up

Credits: http://tumblr.com

We think that this license plate is supposed to say “Tear Up.” That’s what that one represents, right?

They mean “Tare” Up, as in have a party, we’d assume, and not “Teer” Up like you would during a Pixar movie.

Either way, it just looks like “One Ear Up,” and this doggo is doing just that. Man, we can’t even get our dogs to sit, and this person has theirs following written commands. This good boy deserves all the scratches and treats.

You Don't Say

Credits: http://imgur.com

That comes as a complete surprise, being that those Amish are always on the internet and running up the electricity bill and all.

Oh wait…that doesn’t happen. They only type of “bullying” that occurs in an Amish community probably has to do with an actual bull.

That or Zeddediah making fun of Billediah for not being able to churn butter as effectively as his siblings Bobediah and Sarahediah. Those Amish kids can be so cruel when they don’t have phones to occupy themselves with.

Realist

Credits: http://imgur.com

This kid is a pragmatist. The story certainly isn’t going to be about Charlie turtle, or Regina dog.

It’s going to be about Tom freaking Kitten. We should all applaud you for your keen and correct observation, Callum.

Sadly, you’re too good for this world. We predict the teacher won’t see their wonderful answer as the clever response it is and will mark them down. All because they suspect they probably didn’t actually read this, which is also a clever and correct answer.

What A Shocker

Credits: http://imgur.com

Well, yes. We can see how this makes sense. But we think a Phillip’s screwdriver could easily slip into the center hole in the plug.

We would perhaps just change the position of the screw to not directly hit six potential electric shocks.  #themoreyouknow

Also, as for things that make too much sense, we think this design choice is intentional. That’s why the holes look like the face you make when you shock yourself doing it. You can’t convince us we’re wrong on this.

Not Mentioned In Disney

Credits: http://thechive.com

Sure “legs are required for jumping and dancing,” but what’s between them leads to much more invigorating physical activity.

If we were Ariel, we’d be much more interested in our new found lady parts than in the legs.

She’s a collector of different human items, after all, and this is as human an item as you can get. Heck, this is actually where humans come from. You’d think that would be her prized possession, yet she never mentions it. Probably only because she has no voice at this moment. Yup… that’s the only reason.