These Sports Wardrobe Malfunctions Are Embarrassing AF
Here’s a secret that will hopefully put your mind at ease: none of us know what we’re doing. We’re all just faking it until we make it, and even when we make it, we’re trying our hardest to not let anyone know that we still are barely keeping it all together. That’s why we hate being embarrassed. It’s because it exposes us as the frauds we know we all are. There’s nothing worse than being embarrassed. Alternatively, there’s nothing better than watching someone else get embarrassed.
Sure, we should have more empathy, but while everyone is laughing at someone else they aren’t laughing at you, so join on in. That’s what these pictures are all about. We all look up to professional athletes. Through years of hard work and dedication, they’ve reached the pinnacle of physical human achievement. But embarrassment can strike them, too, and when it does, it makes us all laugh (and feel just a little better about ourselves).
When we talk about athletes being embarrassed, we don’t mean losing a big game or anything like that.
There has to be a winner and there has to be a loser. You can come up short and walk away with your dignity, proud of the effort.
However… sports stars all have to wear uniforms, and sometimes things go terribly wrong with the outfits they wear. So here are some wardrobe malfunctions that make it much harder for them to hold onto any pride or dignity.
This is a perfect example of someone messing up when they literally had one job.
Unless the “Angees” are some minor league team none of us have ever heard of, this is quite the blunder. And the players had to go along with it.
If they won, would this win even be logged for the Angels? This has to be some kind of no contest in the record books. All because some uniform makers couldn’t be bothered to double check their work.
It could be worse, though. Here are stars from the Philippines proudly displaying their country’s flag.
But… uh oh. Take a moment to squint at the flag sewn onto their outfits. It looks like a wardrobe maker’s sloppy work struck again.
Their flags were placed on the uniforms upside down. We’re not sure if it’s better or worse to find out the person responsible for this is from the Philippines. When it comes to designing Olympic uniforms, not knowing your own country’s flag is a huge red flag.
Venus Williams is one of the most recognizable athletes on the entire planet. She absolutely dominates every tennis tournament she’s in.
What’s the secret to her continual success over the past decades? Hard work? Natural ability? The intimidation factor?
We think it might be mind games. Specifically, distracting her opponents. Take a look at the shorts she’s wearing under her skirt. Yes, those are shorts. She just happened to find a color that made it look like she was wearing nothing at all… nothing at all… nothing at- dang it, she just scored while we were distracted.
If It Works...
These outfits definitely require a double (and maybe even triple or heck, octuple) take to figure out what’s going on.
No, they didn’t experience a massive outfit material shortage and are doing the best they can with the limited supplies they could gather.
This is straight out of the Venus Williams playbook of distracting your opponents. If this trend continues, all sporting events are going to look like they’re being held on a nudist colony. Not sure how sponsors will feel about that.
The good news is that this isn’t another uniform causing an optical illusion that makes it look like they’re not wearing any pants.
The bad news is that this isn’t another uniform causing an optical illusion that makes it look like they’re not wearing any pants.
That dude got straight-up pantsed like he was being bulling in a middle school locker room. We’re not sure if that’s a legal maneuver in soccer, but it sure is effective at preventing them from being able to run.
In any sporting event that takes place in the water, it’s important to be as aerodynamic as possible.
This means either wearing a tiny little Speedo or a super tight wetsuit that is formfitting to the highest degree.
The danger with the latter, of course, is that when you wear a tight outfit in an event where you move around a lot, you run the high risk of it splitting. And what causes it to be so embarrassing? Location, location, location.
We’re not sure if jockeys are allowed to wear belts while racing their horses, but it should be mandatory after seeing this picture.
Maybe this is another example of outside the box mind games being employed in the heat of competition.
Think about it: In an event when several opponents are coming up on your rear, what better way to stay in the lead than to make it so they don’t want to get anywhere near your rear? This is genius… disgustingly genius.
Slipping And Sliding
Okay, while we could conceivably believe that the last wardrobe malfunction may have been an intentional act of strategy, this definitely isn’t.
Can we get a wardrobe timeout? Or does he have to compete with his bottom hanging out like that.
This can’t be safe considering it’s a winter event. With those frosty winds getting in there, he’s sure to catch a cold. The last thing you need is to wind up in last place because of the sudden wind resistance and wind up sick.
When you’re figure skating, one of the most embarrassing things that could happen is if you slip on the ice and fall.
However, there’s another type of embarrassing slip we didn’t think of, and it’s the one of the nip variety.
Considering how elaborate, intricate and delicate their costumes are it’s surprising this doesn’t happen more often. Kudos to her for not letting it throw her off their routine and finishing up, especially considering how cold she obviously is here.
Come On, Man
Look, wardrobe malfunctions are embarrassing, but it’s in moments like these where you can show the type of person you really are.
If you handle them with humor and humility, then you can show the world that you are classy.
But you know what isn’t classy? Being caught on camera digging around in your cheeks like you’re looking for a land mine. Just run back into the locker room and take care of business there. None of us need to see what you find in your excavation.
See, this is how you handle a wardrobe malfunction. This guy’s suit split before he even got to the field.
What did he do? He took a picture and posted it to social media so everyone could have a good laugh.
This teaches a valuable lesson about not taking yourself too seriously and going with the flow. It also teaches a great lesson about knowing what size outfit you need. Might want to go up one or two next time, pal.
Water Pol-oh No
Well, at least the material on the outfit didn’t split. It held together like a champ.
However, it couldn’t contain everything in it. But like any true champion, she didn’t let her slippage distract her from the task at hand.
Sometimes, you can distract your opponents purely by accident. That’s not your fault. If anything, it’s their fault for taking their eyes off the prize. If this didn’t distract the person it happened to, then the others have no excuse.
Can you think of anything more emasculating on the football field than to try and tackle someone and not have them go down?
Before we saw this picture, we would have said, “No.” But now, we will always point to this photo and say, “Here ya go.”
The only thing that went down are his pants, and this poor guy got a face mask full of bare, sweaty bottom. We’re not sure if this is worthy of a yellow flag, but it definitely deserves a brown one.
Surf's Not The Only Thing That's Up
Okay, if all of these photos have taught us anything it’s that you can never fully trust a skintight swimsuit.
However, it has also taught us that the best athletes won’t be distracted from finishing what they set out to do no matter what pops up (or out).
Maybe that’s what makes them so spectacular to begin with. When they set their mind to something, they finish it. She didn’t even fall off her board. We all salute you, and suggest you maybe get a different outfit.