These People Have ZERO Clue How To Live In A Civilized Society
As individuals, humans are vain, selfish beasts that are just looking out for themselves. That’s not an condemnation on you personally. It’s a condemnation on our entire species. We have these lizard brains at the base of our noggins that drive us to act on our primal instincts, which center around self-preservation and survival. We will do whatever we need to get ahead. However, we’re not lizards, so we have other parts of our brain, thankfully. We have a higher brain, that allows us to use reason.
It’s this part of our brain that allows us to work together, to put aside our differences and be selfless. Do what’s best for the whole, instead of the individual. However, evolution is slow, so there are still those individuals among us who haven’t shed their reptilian ways. While we’ve joined forces and created wonderful, thriving societies, there are those of us who have no idea how to act civilized in them…
Actual Thirst Trap
Look, we don’t want to assume the worst of someone based on what they do for a living.
Stereotypes are an ugly thing, and in a civilized society, we should only judge someone after getting to know them for a while.
That said, whichever landlord did this is perpetuating the bad reputation for landlords everywhere. How dare you try to raise our rent three to four percent every year when this is the level of effort you put into the apartment’s safety.
Upon first glance, this picture is absolutely adorable. It’s a pupper wearing a stuffed elephant costume.
Dogs are cute. Elephants are cute. Combine the two and you get an image that is sure to go viral. But then you dig a little deeper.
Yeah, the dog shouldn’t have eaten the face of the elephant. But it’s just a dog. And a dog’s behavior is only as good as their owner who trained them. So when you shame your pup, you’re really shaming yourself.
At Least He Tried?
We often like to look at images like these and say, “‘A’ for effort.” But you know what?
Sometimes, it’s better to just not do anything at all. Had he just sat there in the pouring rain, we’d only think he was unprepared.
That happens to the best of us. But to wear a chair on his head like this? This shows he was unprepared and also not that bright. Society doesn’t need either. But his balancing skills? Definite ‘A’ for effort there.
Felt Cute. Might Feel Ashamed Later
You know how sometimes you just have one of those days where everything is going right for you appearance-wise?
Your hair is on point, your outfit looks amazing and your skin is clear for the first time since you don’t remember when.
You might feel the urge to document this, because, hey, those dating profiles aren’t going to make themselves. But there’s a time and a place, and as much as your grandpa may have wanted you to find someone to hook up with on Tinder, now is not your moment, dude.
Halloween is supposed to be a time for werewolves, zombies, vampires, ghouls, ghosts, witches and mummies.
It’s supposed to give us a delightful fright… for things that aren’t real. We get scared, but laugh when we remind ourselves that we’re safe. These things don’t exist.
But using this idea to frighten us? Not cool, lady. If you wanted to terrorize us with something from the real world, you could have just put on one of those plastic politician masks. This was too much.
Love is the greatest thing in the world… when you’re the one who is experiencing it.
When you’re watching others in love, it can be the most revolting sight imaginable. And if you don’t believe us, take a look at exhibit A over here.
More like exhibit PDA, ammirite? Ugh, who taught this dude how to kiss? A horse? We shudder to think how those training sessions must have looked. Good look to this gal reapplying her foundation to her chin after this slobber-sesh.
You know how when you watch something sad but don’t want to admit that it’s affecting you and making you cry you ask, “Is someone chopping onions in here?”
Well, in this instance, yes, someone is literally chopping onions in here.
And “here” is a subway car. Because what better place to chop onions than an enclosed tube so everyone can be forced to inhale the fumes, and in one that is jostling around so you can spill what you’ve diced on the floor as well?
We humans like to think that just because we’ve built these giant civilizations that we’re apart from nature.
The truth is, we’re still a part of nature. It’s important to remember that. It’s also important to remember to not take that too far.
This guy is trying to command the beasts of the sky to obey his whims. And his whims seem to be making them battle for his amusement. Hopefully these birds will wise up and turn on their new carb-y overlord.
Spoiler: we’re getting into a stretch here of folks that don’t know how to act in a civilized society based on how they interact with animals.
Like this fella, for example. You should periodically wash your cat to make sure they don’t get too smelly and gross.
However, you shouldn’t traumatize them. We all know that cats are mostly self-cleaning, so they hate being bathed by humans. You know what’s not going to make them warm up to the idea? Having you in there naked with them.
Freaks Of A Feather
If you’re a farmer, you put a lot of hard work into raising your produce and livestock.
So you might feel a sense of pride in them, and want to show them off to anyone willing to see.
However, we doubt this guy is a farmer. We don’t even know if he’s related to one. This just seems like an elaborate way to say, “Look at all the chicks I’m getting, bro,” and frankly, society could use less of puns like this.
Dogs And Darlings
Public displays of affection are the grossest and most unacceptable form of showing off your love there is.
Not far behind it are couple glamour shots. We get it. You’re in love, so you want to let the whole world know how happy you are.
Good. For. You. Sometimes, they even add their dog to the photo, because this is now a whole family. But sometimes, the dog will turn and show what everyone thinks you look like when you do this.
Sharing Is Caring
Part of being in a civilized society is working for the greater good of others in your area.
This means being less of a selfish individual and sacrificing for all those who might be in need around you.
Of course, this is referring to humans, you silly Billy. We certainly hope that bread wasn’t from a sandwich that contained a buffalo burger. Tricking a wild beast into a form of accidental cannibalism is cruel, wrong and yup… not very society-worthy.
What Even Is This?
We shouldn’t bite the hand that feeds, considering how many of our articles are dependent on it.
But we should say that’s it’s not very polite to take pictures of strangers in public to show off on the internet.
That being said, when the stranger look like this, we all have to know. They’re even more perplexing and alarming. Is this a little girl in an old woman mask, or an old woman in a little girl suit? We’re freaked out either way.
Ready For Anything
One of the main advantages of being a member of society is the safety it affords you.
Ideally, a society looks out for its own. That said, you can never be too safe, so it’s a smart idea to prepare for the worst.
However, we don’t know what the worst is this lady is preparing for. What kind of danger will you need to fend off with a pretty, pink rifle and a scared dog in a tub with your kid? Please, someone, any one, explain it to us.
Taste The Rainbow
We’ve made fun of a lot of people that don’t know how to properly act in public.
We’re usually of the belief that whatever you do in private is your own business. If it’s not hurting anyone, then knock yourself out.
However, if you have someone take a photo of it and put it online, that becomes a part of the public arena. And this… we don’t really know what this is. Rainbows are made from water particles in the air, and we sincerely hope water from that source aren’t floating around.
Drink It In
Sometimes it isn’t even individuals that don’t know how to act in a civilized society.
Sometimes it’s corporations. We know that in a capitalistic society competition can be fierce and you need to do whatever you can to stand out in a crowded field.
But this? Who on Earth sat in a board room and thought, “Yeah, Coke and Pepsi have the market cornered on good flavors. But you know what they don’t have? Drinkable salad dressing colas. Get on it, team!”
Booty Booger Sugar
Remember that phase in the early 2000s when girls wore the sweat pants with the word “juicy” printed on the butt?
We thought that was dumb and couldn’t get any worse. Well, this is dumber and a heck of a lot worse.
Why would you openly advertise your love for an illegal drug on your clothing? And in that area of all places? The fact she has a baby with her is the least perplexing part of this photo somehow.
Some Light Reading
“You know what the problem with this generation is? They’re all so obsessed with their cell phones.
All day every day, they have their faces buried in those gizmos, checking out their Facegrams and their Instabooks. Nobody reads anymore.
Print is a dying medium because of these darn millennials and generation z-ers. But I’m doing my part to keep the magazine industry alive. I’m an avid reader, and I try to read wherever I go. Hope that answers your questions, officer.”
You Love What, Now?
Look, the adult film industry makes billions upon billions of dollars of profit each and every year.
You love their movies. We love their movies. Everyone indulges in it, but yet nobody will ever admit to it in public.
Well… except this lady. We know that we all love it, but we don’t announce it. It’s just not very civilized. It’s like announcing what was happening for that 20 minutes you were in the bathroom following a taco buffet the day before. Just keep it to yourself.
Nappy Time Ranger
One of the best parts of being an adult is your parents can’t tell you what to do anymore.
You have autonomy and expendable income, so if you want to get roaring drunk in a Power Ranger costume and pass out on the subway on a weeknight, you can.
However, just because you can doesn’t mean you should. Society is like the parents we all need to keep us in check. Because while it’s not always fun, it is necessary so chaos like this doesn’t happen everywhere at all times.