These Are The Vast Differences Before And After You Turn 30
When you are a little kid, you can’t wait to get older. Then when you grow up, you keep wishing you were a kid again. This is one of the greatest tragedies of life. When we are young naive idiots, we don’t realize how good we have it. We don’t understand what real responsibility is yet. We fight back against any authority that’s pushed on us, saying things like, “No! I don’t want to take a nap!” Taking a nap is the biggest drama in a young person’s life.
And then we grow up and enter the work force, and every day at two in the afternoon you think, “Damn… a nap would be so good right now.” What can we learn from this? Appreciate you’re youth. Whether you’re two, twelve or twenty, don’t take a single day for granted. As you get older, things get much more complicated and well, different. Here are some vast differences before and after you turn 30 that will make you want to go back in time.
Drinking Before 30
In your twenties, drinking is a never-ending party and a competition that no one wins. We are feeling nauseas just thinking about it.
A typical night in or out contains shots, shots, shots and more shots. There is no such thing as just having a sensible drink with a friend.
Drinking with buddies includes chugging, Power Hour, Flip Cup and repeat! Before you turn 30, you pretty much just drink to get wasted. And it’s a blast. Or was it?
Drinking After 30
After 30, it’s one glass of wine and then off to bed. Actually, most of the time you may not even get to the drinking of the wine before you just pass out from a long day.
Many people in their 30s that do get to drink enjoy it because when you get drunk you lose your inhibitions. You feel and act like a kid again.
That’s why alcohol is so popular. It’s not a beverage, it’s a magical time travel elixir that gives us a taste of what live used to be like.
Texting Before 30
Ah, dating before you turn 30. It was such a simple time. “Send me some nudes!” Done and done.
When you are younger, you are up front about not looking for anything serious. Why would you be? You’re young and have plenty of time to play the field.
If someone casually told you to send nudes after turning 30, you would need a whole lot of lighting, editing and filters to make that happen. Yeah, no thanks.
Texting After 30
Texts with your partner after 30 are less sexting and more, “Can you pick me up some tampons?” A real man would do it.
Hey, your man going on a tampon run is way more intimate than his sending you a simple “send nudes At some point, in your 30s, you just let it all hang loose and get down to the nitty gritty.
He will go get your tampons and you’ll clean his dirty underwear. There is nothing sexier than that, right?
Dating Before 30
Dating in your 20s is a whole lot of swipes, drunken nights and settling for anything with a pulse. He is awake and alert, he’s in the room with you, let’s do this!
Sometimes you remember the name of the person and sometimes you don’t. Hey, you are young who cares!?
There is no shame in that at all. It’s all about building life experience. Just make sure this life experience includes telling your mom or a friend who you are out with before you go.
Dating After 30
Dating after 30 is all about giving up on any hope of meeting someone normal and going out with your girlfriends instead.
Maybe you’ll stumble upon Mr. Right and maybe you won’t. But who cares. Look, you’re not as optimistic as you used to be but you also don’t care as much.
You just live your life, focus on yourself and if something happens then great! If not, you’re superbusy so it doesn’t really matter anyway.
Hangovers Before 30
Before 30, if you are feeling hungover, just go for a beer and treat it with some hair of the dog!
A drink after a long night of drinking is like Popeye and his spinach. It somehow rejuvenates you! After 30, no way.
Hangovers are manageable before you turn 30. After chugging some water, eating a nice breakfast and popping an Advil or 2 you are usually ready to rally and do it all over again like a bos.
Hangovers After 30
Being hungover after 30 is no bueno to say the least. After 30 it’s all about 10 hours of sleep, chewing Tums, chugging coconut water and a whole lot of Advil. Pass the bottle, please.
You also spend the whole day after a night of drinking asking yourself why you keep doing this to yourself. And why do you?
And why does sunlight hate you so much right now? What did you ever do to the sun?
Facebook Posts Before 30
Facebook before 30 is filled with way too many pictures of you blacked out drunk and acting like a complete idiot.
You aren’t looking for the dream job, so why do you care what you post on there? No big deal.
After all, those pics get the most likes and that is all that matters at this point in time. You’ll worry about it when you grow up. Or when your boss fires you for talking smack about your co workers on there and they all see it.
Facebook Posts After 30
Move over party pictures and make way for baby pics, mom advice, bridesmaids photos, funny cat videos and puppies dressed in costumes. SO CUTE!
Can’t stop, won’t stop on the baby pics, because these now get the most likes. These and the photos from your wedding fou years ago that you still can’t stop posting about. Those kill on there too.
Facebook after 30 turns into an advice blog and reading comments that your crazy Aunt Bonnie left on your mom’s last political post.
Shoes Before 30
Before 30, you rocked those sexy stilettos for days. They made your calves and butt look spectacular and you couldn’t feel sexy without them.
Who cares if they made you the teensiest bit sore? It was all worth it. Your feet may be bleeding, but damn your legs look smokin’ hot.
Go put those same heels on now and tell us how they feel? Is it worth it? Could you last an hour in them? Go ahead and try.
Shoes After 30
After 30, all you can wear are flats…flats, sneakers and more flats. Sure, looking good in those heels is nice. But you know what else is nice? Not having blisters on your feet from wearing stupid shoes.
You finally make a decision that it’s not worth not being able to walk and messing up your back for the next month and ditch the heels.
It’s about time. Your feet have been cursing your name since those heels came into style!
A Typical Weekend Before 30
Before you turn 30, weekends are for crazy nights out, super fun adventures with friends, festivals, concerts and more! Ain’t nothin’ you can’t d
You have the energy to go to happy hour Friday, then rally until the sun comes out. Then wake up with next day to enjoy some day drinking and stay out all over again.
Sunday comes, you rock some Sunday brunch all day and you get home feeling nice and refreshed for the next Monday morning.
A Typical Weekend After 30
After 30, weekends are for running errands and catching up on your life before you start your next week.
Sure you have a little fun here and there, but you have a things you need to do before the next week begins and you need to get on it stat!
Being an adult is so lame, isn’t it? But don’t worry, you still find some time to do something sup though, like cleaning up your room. Sooooo funnnnn
A Cute Outfit Before 30
Before 30, when you are getting ready for a night on the town, you make sure you wear your cutest outfit.
You look cute, your friend looks cute, everyone is being cute, so it’s time to have a cute night.
You love to show off some skin! Hey, you work hard in the gym so it’s time to own it! Go out and show off that little body because in your 30s, it is a whole other story.
A Cute Outfit After 30
A cute outfit after 30 is being in your sweatpants or in your favorite pjs and being comfortable AF. Comfort is key, people.
You opt to stay in with your girlfriends on a Friday night and veg out because where else would your rock your new pajamas?
And you have got to take some selfies showing off your cute Friday night outfits. If you don’t take a selfie and post it on Instagram, did it even happen?
Underwear Before 30
When shopping for some underwear before 30, sexier is better. Whatever is smaller, lacier and goes up your butt the most wins!
You will drop money on lingerie because you want to look your best in the bedroom. Even though the lights will probably be off and it’s all coming off eventually anyway, it is so worth it!
You put on your new skimpy underwear and take a selfie because you are feeling yourself and you should show
Underwear After 30
But again, after 30 it is all about the comfort. Are we seeing a pattern here?
Why go for butt floss when you can rock a look that hugs your curves and doesn’t make you want a pick a wedgie all day?
Look, if a guy thinks your sexy, it won’t matter what kind of underwear you wear. Whether you are 20 or 30, go ahead and wear what makes you feel good. Comfy and cozy is best.
Kids Before 30
We spent most of our 20s trying NOT to get pregnant. Most of us weren’t ready to raise a child and we were fully aware of it.
We wore all kinds of protection and prayed over and over again hoping we weren’t pregnant if we had any kind of slip up.
When we bought a pregnancy test, it was high stakes and in hopes to be able to sigh a breath of relief if we didn’t have a bun in the oven.
Kids After 30
But then in your 30s, your thoughts on having kids begin to shift a little. You start thinking about your clock that is ticking away.
You think that maybe you should be trying to get pregnant. Your mom told your eggs are dying and you are starting to feel like time is running out. PANIC ENSUES!!!!
Listen, 30s are the new 20s. Don’t sweat it. The 30s are amazing. Focus on yourself and the rest will fall into place. Hopefully.