There Are Now ‘Golden Girls’ Pez Dispensers And The World Just Got A Little Brighter
Nostalgia is a heck of a drug, isn’t it? We tend to look back on the past with rose tinted glasses, remembering things as being better than they actually were. It’s because life is struggle, and when you’re in it, you tend to focus mostly on the negatives and less on the positives. But once you move on, you look back and remember things not being that bad, and actually pretty great in many places. You long to go back to them.
Hot Topic stores in malls across America cash in on this nostalgia. Those stores are known for being places where edgy goth kids can get scary leather outfits, but realistically it’s where you can find T-shirts of all your old favorite ’90s Nickelodeon shows. Because nostalgia is tied heavily to pop culture, since it helped shape us. And if you want to see items that capitalize on our nostalgic feels, wait until you get a load of these…
What better show to look back on with rose-tinted glasses than the one that has a main character named Rose?
And better than that, one who is played by the iconic, adorable, totally irreplaceable and amazing Betty White?
The Golden Girls dominated TV ratings while it was on the air, and it still runs heavily in syndication nearly 30 years after it’s last new episode ran. It’s obviously a popular show. What would be a fun way to show you’re a fan?
If you’re feeling nostalgic for old toys and old shows, this is the perfect combination of the two.
That’s right. This isn’t a hoax or a fancy photoshop job. This is not a drill, people. You can now get Golden Girl Pez dispensers.
This idea is even sweeter than the chalky candy that pops out of these pop culture heroes’ heads. And as you can see, they have all four of the main characters represented in this line. Rejoice!
Do you have a GG super fan in your life? Do you see them when you look in the mirror?
If so, then you can get the entire collection of Pez dispensers, since they’re available on Amazon for $42.95.
Or, you can get them each individually if you prefer for $5.99 a piece. But how can you decide on just one? Look how adorable Sophia looks here? Imagine her dispensing Pez besides her usual, quirky, patented wisdom.
Or, if you’re feeling fun, flirty and fiery, you can get yourself the Southern Belle herself, Blanche Devereaux.
Look how vivacious she looks. Don’t you just want to prowl the streets of Miami for some single, senior men? Who wouldn’t?
We can’t promise that this will up your flirting game, but it will help you channel Blanche’s essence, and with that, you can be unstoppable. Also, the Pez will improve your breath, which you’ll need on all the dates you’ll be getting.
Rest in power, Bea Arthur. She was everything to all of us hoping to grow up as no nonsense having as Dorothy Zbornak was.
Based on the stern, cocked eyebrow she’s flashing, you can tell she’s not having whatever you’re selling.
If you need to channel some biting, dry wit, this is your (golden) girl. Any time you think someone’s being ridiculous, you don’t even need to say a word. Just shove this in their face and make them thank you for the candy.
Betty White is only one woman, and yet she rents a room in the heart of every person in the world.
How can she be so many places all at once? She signed the lease on that agreement by playing the lovable, naive Rose Nylund.
She has perhaps the blankest, sweetest look on her face of the bunch… just like she did in the show! Ugh, yeah, there’s no way we can get just one. Best to get the entire set.
Does the design of the gals’ heads seem familiar to you? Well, it absolutely should.
They’re modeled after the signature look of Funko Pop! figures. Funko actually teamed with Pez to release this line of Golden Girl dispensers (and we thank them both profusely).
But that’s not all. While Pez dispensers are great and we’ve established how much we need them all, you can also get yourself some GG Funko Pop! figures. Of course… you’ll likely need to snag the whole set here as well.
You’ve undoubtedly seen Funko Pop! figures around. If there’s a character you love, they exist in this form.
And now you can get the entire set of Golden Girls from them as well. The set of all four is available for $43.
Or, if you have a squad of Golden Girls yourselves, you can each get one and unite when you see each other. Get yourself the feisty Sophia, who is rocking her signature handbag on her figure.
Individually, these figures are $10.99 each. Which one of the gals do you think best represents you?
People like to say what Sex and the City character they are, but real OGs play at what GG they are.
Blanche is one of the best options. Now that you can see more than just her head, you see she’s dressed to impress and is ready to do what she does best. Remember: try to channel her essence and live your best life.
Are you tired of guests coming into your home and messing with all of your belongings?
Place this Dorothy anywhere you want a watchful, stern eye. Sure, she’s not actually sentient, but it feels like she is, right?
With her arms crossed like that, it looks like she’s about to get all mean substitute teacher on anyone that gets out of line. Get a few of these and place them around your valuables. It’s more effective than any alarm system.
Of course, you don’t need to get a feisty man-eater or a stern protector.
What if you’re the doe-eyed innocent one in the group? Then you need to get yourself a Rose to match your inner spirit animal.
Although, to be fair, Betty White is everyone’s spirit animal. She lives in everyone’s heart simultaneously, remember? Well, now she can live in your actual home, and you can enjoy her and chuckle at this figurine each and every day.
Pick Your Golden Girl
Of course, showing your love for this show and its characters isn’t limited to just cute figurines and candy dispensers.
You can also get all sorts of other fun Golden Girls merch. Fans make their own items all over the web.
Like these coffee cups, for example. Proudly declare your allegiance to your favorite character. It’s like picking which Game of Thrones house you’d belong to and fight for, only this is much more fun and the fire-breathing comes less from dragons and more from Dorothy’s jokes.
Sure, while sipping (and maybe even spilling a little) tea sounds great for a GG night, these are even better.
Can you think of a better night in with your favorite friends than binge watching your favorite series?
How could that be any better? Oh, we know… if each of you had your own wine glass with your favorite character from your favorite show with your favorite friends. Life doesn’t get any better than this… we thought, until we saw this next thing…
The Golden Girls are older women living in southern Florida. You know what older women in southern Florida are stereotypically known to do?
Sew and crochet? So if you’re a fan of the show, why not show it in the most appropriate way?
How adorable are these? Don’t you just want to create an army of them and place them strategically around your house so no matter where you’re facing, they’re never out of view? No, you’re the obsessive fan that needs to calm down.
Russian Nesting Doll
This is the gift that keeps on giving. You give a fun trinket with Dorothy on it.
Then you lift it and discover that there’s a Rose underneath. That’d be good enough… but do we dare fly closer to the sun?
Yup! Underneath Rose is Blanche, and underneath Blanche is Sophia. This is the most compact way to store all your favorite Golden Girls. Although, as we’ve said, we don’t know why you wouldn’t litter your home with their visages.
Okay, so your home is now completely covered in all of your new, wonderful Golden Girls paraphernalia.
But what happens when you leave the house? Strangers walking down the street might take a look at you and assume you ain’t down with the gals.
You can’t have that, can you? Best to get these pins. You can stick them onto your purse, backpack, shirt or heck even your enemies if they try to say they’re a bigger fan than you are.
Those pins are nice, but they are a bit small. You could run the risk of people missing them.
Well, there’s no missing this. This hoodie is as obvious as Blanche’s propositions to the men she’s interested in, the old minx.
This will keep you cozy and warm, but most importantly, it will alert the world that you are repping your OG GGs in the hood, quite literally, because women of their age can get a tad chilly from time to time.
Let’s say you have a son or a nephew that isn’t into shows about funny older ladies.
You don’t have to disown them… yet. Before you do, try getting them interested with these action figures. It’s action! Little boys love action!
Tell them they’re kind of like the Avengers, only instead of saving the universe from Thanos and his snap, they save you from boredom, with quips that make you go, “Aw, snap!” Then if they still aren’t into it, find a real Infinity Gauntlet and snap them to dust.
Okay, we may have gone off the rails a little bit with those last few products.
We should probably get out a little bit. Some nature would do us a lot of good. Or… what if we brought nature to us?
Yup! You can now grow your very own Golden Girl Chia Pet. Why? How dare you ask why! The real question is why not? And there is no reason why not! We were right. This nature is doing us good.
Thank You For Being A Friend
So there you go. If you love Sophia, Dorothy, Blanche and Rose, you have no excuse to not show it off.
Get yourself a Funko Pop! figure, buttons or collection of Pez Dispensers. The world is dark, but it’s looking brighter every day.
Quit living in the past with those false, cheery memories, and live in the here and now… with these items from the past, that will make you enjoy the present and strive confidently into the future.