The Story Of How An 85-Year-Old Priest Became An Adult Film Star
It’s never too late to find your true calling in life. We all want to do what we’re most passionate about. That’s the dream, isn’t it? Doing what we love and being recognized for our talent in that field? Well, while that’s all well and good, sometimes our passions don’t pay the bills. While we’d all love to be professional video game players, very few get to pay their rent by doing so, so working at a nine to five office job is a necessity for most of us to survive.
But it’s important to remember your dreams. Because even though you may have to put them on hold for a while, it’s never too late to chase what makes you happy. As you’re about to see in this inspiring story, retirement doesn’t mean your life is over. It could be just the beginning, as now you have the time to do what you really love. And believe us: everyone has very different dreams, especially this fella…
Meet Norm Self. He’s 85 years old. Most people lucky enough to make it to this age would be happily retired.
They’d lay around in their house, watching TV and maybe going out for the occasional game of bingo.
That’s what stereotypical elderly folks would do. But Norm is anything but stereotypical. He recently embarked on a whole new career, one that he is excited about and has been waiting his entire life to get the chance to try out.
You see, Norm is a retired priest from North Carolina. He had been a man of the cloth for quite a long time.
He joined the clergy at age 18. Having grown up in an extremely religious and conservative household, he felt that it was the logical move.
However, sometimes logic doesn’t satisfy what your heart wants. While serving as a priest, he was married. And during his 28-year marriage, Norm Self came to a startling realization about himself that he couldn’t deny.
He Was Gay
Yup. While working as a campus minister in 1997, he had an epiphany about himself that would change his life forever.
He came across a group of men who came out as gay, and this in turn led him to think, “Guess what? I’m a gay man.”
As you might imagine, being a priest married to a woman, this revelation came as quite a shock to those who knew Norm. His entire lifestyle changed, and that was only the beginning of his adventure…
In A Film
At the age of 83, Norm appeared in his first adult film. He has done a few since then, and hasn’t even been paid for them.
He insists on working for free, because he’s having such a fun time doing it.
His first film starred him alongside two considerably younger men. And while the adult film industry is a business with employees working hard (lol) to make a living, Norm doesn’t see it as work, saying, he feels like he’s having a party.
How exactly did Norm get his start? Well, it started with a simple question. He said, “My housemate asked me if I’d be in a film.
I was invited in and all of a sudden all this attention comes to me. We are going to have sex anyway so why not make it a liberating and bonding experience instead of hiding it away in the shadows?”
As you’d imagine, this would alienate people from Norm’s old life, but he doesn’t mind, saying, “that’s their struggle.”
We’re sure you have a million questions. Trust us, we did, too. Luckily, Norm gave an interview answering all sorts of things, such as what it was like starting in this new profession so late in life.
“It was splendid! How could it not be? [I was in] a blessed rural setting, surrounded by a cast and crew of loving, competent, supportive brothers.
[They were] intent on sharing the good news of the healing power of pleasure. What could be more delightful? And if you’ve seen the video, with the two adorable models “performing,” what else could be lacking?”
Body Is A Temple
It turns out that all those years as a priest came in handy, as he sees this new career as a new type of holy crusade.
“The best part was just being there and doing it. I find these days that my body is indeed a temple where intimacy and ecstasy intermingle.
Whenever I am engaged with its erotic energies, I am transported into domains that give assurance of the goodness of all of life, and why I am here, embodied, to spread the good word that it’s available to all beings!”
Erotic Joy And Bliss
So what is his goal? To show how great feeling great feels! Homosexuality is present in nature, so enjoying pleasure is natural.
“[I’ll keep doing it] until the sex-negative norms are removed from our society’s vocabulary and replaced with the implicit message that our birthright is to enjoy erotic joy and bliss.
“We who have experienced that owe it to our sisters and brothers to share that good news with all who will hear it! There’s no reason not to do it again until every embodied person has the news and is practicing in light of it.”
Yeah… that’s not the type of lesson you’ll hear in a church any time soon. But Norm feels it’s just as important a message to preach.
However, he isn’t the biggest fan of the word “p*rn,” or being called a star in that genre. But if it helps, it’s a burden he’s willing to carry.
“For those who have grown up in a s*x-suppressive society where everything outside conventional norms/mores is labeled “p*rn” in order to suppress it — and who, therefore, find a kind of titillation in being “outside the norm” of suppression — I’m happy to wear the label.
So if he doesn’t like the label of “gay p*rn star,” then what does he choose to identify as?
“I feel hemmed in by trying to answer questions about my “sexual identity,” since my identity is so much more than how I “do” s*x.
I don’t really like to pen it down to a “sound bite.” My personal preference for a s*x partner for my own pleasure is usually a man. But I have all the equipment for human s*x, and if I’m with a woman and our engagement calls for erotic play, I let her decide what she wants us to do.”
Minister Of Erotic Education
These days, the closest to a label the former priest goes by is “minister of erotic education and a sacred intimate.” What does that mean?
“I don’t know of any institution that confers these “titles.” In my case, they were “conferred” by loved ones who know me and love me because of what they have heard from me and know of me.
Specifically, if I accept the “title” of “minister of erotic education,” I would mean the eradication of false messages installed by society that s*x is at best suspect, and at worst evil.
If all this talk about s*x from an elderly man is making you uncomfortable, that’s a mindset Norm would like to change.
“I think it’s sad and destructive that our society has an image of elder human beings as “s*xless.”
I have been a facilitator with at least three women and a great many more men in the recovery/restoration of their erotic/sexual response and their joyful delight at the discovery that “it ain’t over until I say it is!””
Best Of His Life
This gives us all something to look forward to. According to Norm himself, he’s living his best life spiritually and physically.
“I have stated, publicly and truthfully, that my s*x life at age 83 is ‘the best of my life.’ That’s true, but it isn’t because I got older but because I got wiser!
The more I let go of old messages ― installed early on by well-meaning but ill-informed advisers ― that s*x is “bad,” the more free I am to accept who I am as an embodied erotic being. The “better” comes from a willingness to examine and let go of those old stories, to be in my body, and to notice how good that feels!”
Let the minister of erotic education himself educate us all on these misconceptions about s*x, especially involving the elderly.
“I would speculate that the biggest misconception is that s*x “wears out” and isn’t for elders. My sad assumption is that anyone who believes that and gives up on having s*x is using their failing joy from s*x as an excuse for other dynamics in their life.
That robs the s*x of its luster and bliss. I would dispute this fabrication by pointing to many elders I know (even older than I am!) who regularly enjoy this sweet intimacy.
Words Of Wisdom
So remember, it’s never too late to do what you love. And speaking of love, here’s some parting advice on making love from Norm:
“Learn to pay attention and look for those subtleties. Learn to notice, to enjoy and to give thanks for those subtler things in life that make it more enjoyable.
And learn how to genuinely love every partner you have sex with — at least while you are having s*x! And learn that there are many other “erogenous zones” than just your genitals. Get really acquainted with and train your mind — that’s your greatest s*x organ!”