The Most Savage Moments Of Epic Revenge On Exes
True love is hard to find. And when we say “true love” we don’t mean finding your soul mate. If we’re being honest with ourselves, there are seven and a half billion people on the planet, so the odds of finding the one and only one you were meant to be with is statistically impossible. But that doesn’t mean you can’t find an amazing person you’ll be happy with for the rest of your life. After all, there are seven and a half billion people on the planet, so the odds of finding a couple that are pretty cool is statistically pretty high.
But when we say “true love,” we mean finding someone who will be honest and faithful to you. Sadly, there are many cheaters out there. If you’ve ever been cheated on, you know how horrible it feels. Some people get sad, but others… they get even. Here are some of the most satisfying moments of epic revenge on cheaters by their scorned exes.
All Wrapped Up
It’s a stereotype to attack the vehicle of the person who you caught cheating on you.
While it might feel cathartic to just slash the tires or take a sledgehammer to the windshield, you can be so much more creative than that.
This is a great suggestion. If you know that they’ve been warned at work that one more tardiness will result in their termination, then you can do this. It’s not illegal, and it will cost them their career. That’s some delicious revenge.
1,000 Photos Are Worth 1,000,000 Words
We should of course warn that you should only ever get revenge if you’re 1,000 percent sure they did in fact cheat.
How can you be that sure? Well, photo evidence is pretty definitive. So if you have that, then revenge away.
They say that men are like dogs, so when they mess up, you should rub their noses in it. Posting that photo evidence all over their car is a good start. Also, wrapping it up like in the previous image and costing them their job? That’s some even more delicious revenge!
Eff It Bucket
One of the worst parts of cheating are all of the lies. How could they be full of so much BS?
If you want to take something figurative and turn it literal, you can always throw a bucket of excrement through their driver side window.
We should mention that this is illegal and will likely result in a hefty fine for you. But can you put a price on the feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction of doing something like this?
An Ax To Pick With You
Look, clever ways of getting back at a cheating former lover are all well and good.
But when you’re in a heightened emotional state, logic goes out the window and sometimes buckets full of poo go flying through the window.
Or, you can just take a pickaxe to their car. The issue with that is that sometimes you bury it so deep in the automobile it can get stuck. No problem! Just bring several with you and bury them away!
Is your rage so great that your ex my try escaping to the sea in order to avoid you?
If so, you can always leave them a parting message. Of course, pen and paper won’t do. You need spray paint and the side of their boat.
Fun fact: spray paint is incredibly difficult to get off of a sea-faring vessel. You’d think that being in the water would help wash it off, but it doesn’t. Now the whole ocean will know they suck.
One of the worst parts of going through a breakup are all the memories and reminders you’re left with of them.
Your social media is littered with pictures of that garbage person you feel dumb enough for falling for.
Do you delete all of them? That’s one way to exercise self-care. You can also go through every single Instagram post with them in it and change the caption, so you can still learn from your past and look back on it with some hilarious hindsight.
If your significant other cheats on you, you can try to handle it in a quiet, discreet manner.
Or, you can put it on blast so that everyone driving by knows the type of person that they really are.
That latter feels better, doesn’t it? Announcing their infidelity to the world may not be the most mature way to move on with relationship issues, but it’s a wonderful opportunity to put all of those arts and crafts products you have to good use.
Hung Out To Dry
You know what’s worse than finding out you’ve been caught cheating by the person you’re with?
How about if they make it so you can’t get back into your house, pay for an Uber or get a hotel?
It can’t get any worse than that, right? Oh, you adorable, naive scumbag. They can also post it around your neighborhood so everybody around knows your true colors and you can’t even get them to help you out. Use this as a learning experience.
Advertising can be so obnoxious. We get it, Coca-Cola exists. You don’t have to inundate us with commercials to try and remind us every 20 seconds.
However, every so often you see an ad that makes you chuckle. And we ain’t talking about Geico commercials.
Putting up a sign outside your house is one thing. But paying to hang a billboard to let the whole town know you done messed up? We’d say that’s priceless, but billboard ads aren’t that cheap. Luckily, he wound up paying for it.
You know what? Billboards should be used exclusively for people trying to get back at their cheating (in)significant others.
We don’t need to see another ad for McDonald’s for the rest of our lives. But fresh gossip? That’s hotter than any Mickey D’s coffee.
Also, everyone should see a financial planner when they get married. And these planners should pull each person aside and tell them how expensive cheating can be. It’s the worst possible investment you could ever make, so just stay faithful.
We don’t want to be exclusionary. Not everyone can afford a giant billboard, even when they’re using their cheating ex’s funds.
Then again, sometimes cheating isn’t the end of a relationship. People make mistakes, and forgiveness is a difficult but rewarding virtue.
Though, just because you forgive doesn’t mean you forget, and you’re still entitled to some revenge. Sometimes advertising campaigns have to have a more grassroots approach, so this is a wonderful alternative. They can stop once everyone in the city knows.
“Hey, Starla! So, good news. We don’t have to sneak around any more. Our relationship can be out in the open.
What’s that? You want to celebrate? Well, that might have to wait a little. I’m kind of strapped for cash at the moment.
But hey, we’re together. No more wife and kids for me to worry about. It’s not like we need any money to be happy. I can just come over and cook some Ramen and… hello? Starla? You still there?”
It’s better to give than to receive, especially around the holidays. This gal knew that all too well.
Her cheating boyfriend thought that he was getting an awesome gift. After all, the box was so big! The best things come in the biggest sizes. That’s how that saying goes, right?
Welp, turns out that huge box was full of his Twitter conversations he was having with another woman. His gal was kind enough to print them allllllll out for him. Merry Christmas, pal.
“What’s this? You never get me gifts. Is it our anniversary or something? What’s the occasion?”
“Well, I was just thinking about you and our relationship and all we’ve been through. Then I found these and thought, ‘She deserves this.'”
“Aw, baby! That’s so sweet of you! Wait… why are you leaving the car? And why are you filming this? No matter, I can’t wait to see what’s in the box. I’m so excited I’m shaking the box. It feels like it’s moving on its own!”
When you’re cheated on, a natural instinct is to get enraged at the person that your partner was cheating with.
That anger is misplaced, though. Often times, they don’t even know about it. If you find them, why throw away a potential ally?
Remember that scene in Step Brothers when Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly proclaimed, “Did we just become best friends?” This is basically the same thing, only they’re bonding over all the terrible things they’re gonna do to this guy.
Look, if you get in a committed relationship, you shouldn’t cheat on them no matter what.
You especially shouldn’t cheat on them if they’re a tattoo artist. And if you’re cheating on a tattoo artist, maybe don’t ask them to give you a tattoo.
We all remember back in middle school reading The Scarlet Letter and how Hester Prynne was branded with an ‘A’ on all of her clothing. We thought that was rough. Turns out, she got off easy.
If you have a girlfriend that loves football as much as you do and is willing to get you tickets, she’s a better catch than any you’ll see in any game.
So you should hold onto her and do your best not to fumble the ball in your relationship.
Cheating? That’s definitely a foul, and your penalty is staying at home and watching her have a much better time without you. Hopefully she can find a better guy while she’s offsides.
We’ve made it clear enough times that you should never cheat. It’s just plain a crummy thing to do.
But if you do cheat, the last thing you should do is go around bragging about it to anyone who will listen.
Especially since you never know who’s actually listening. Also, the internet is a smaller place than you realize. Karma has a funny way of tracking you down when you least expect it. So maybe keep your mouth shut and your eyes from wandering.
There Goes The Neighborhood
If you gain anything from these, let it be the knowledge that you can get a great deal if you just look for a scorned lover.
Elle Zober was married for over 10 years and her husband left her for a 22 year old.
So what did she do? She sold the house! Sometimes you pay for cheating, and sometimes the person you cheated on gets paid. Hopefully the family that bought this are a little more faithful.
Bobbing For Apples
If you’re a fan and owner of Apple products, you should invest in the electronics that are waterproof.
Especially if you’re an unfaithful slime ball that doesn’t know how to cover their tracks and have a significant other who knows how upset you’d be if your prized possessions wound up in the toilet.
Or, you could just not cheat. That’s the takeaway from all of these pictures. If you want to break up, break up. Otherwise, something you love will be broken instead.