Strange Things Americans Do That Weird Out Everyone Else In The World
Americans are, without a doubt, quite ridiculous. Please don’t take that as a statement that needs to be debated, you’d only waste your time. There really is no arguing that. We say things and do things that seem perfectly normal to us, but in other countries, they pretty much agree that we’re insane. So basically, we’re all in agreement here, which is nice.
The rest of the world thinks we’re maniacs, which is fine, cause we love America enough for the whole planet. But we do have some weird things that we do. And we somehow think that we are the perfect ones.
Just look at that picture. It should inspire confusion and embarrassment. Instead, it inspires… overwhelming pride? That’s what it means to be an American. We stand up and salute those stars and stripes on the flag. U-S-A! U-S-A!
But as much as we love our country, we tend to confuse the rest of the world. We’re used to our own brand of weird, so it doesn’t seem strange at all to us. Here are some things we do that no one else in the world does…
Our Toilet Bowls Have So Much Water In Them
Why do we have so much water in our toilet bowls? Other countries just have a little bit of water in their bowl to flush it down. Could you imagine all the water we could save if we did the same? What are they expecting us to do in there?
We could practically take a bath. Is that why some things are called half bathrooms? Do they not have half bathrooms in other countries? Do we just have so much water here that we can throw it around in our toilet bowls and not have to worry? We guess so.
Having A Laundry Room
Overseas, your washer and dryer are often found in the kitchen. In the United States, however, it would be extremely strange to wash your clothes in your kitchen. It just wouldn’t happen. People in Europe will never understand why our washer and dryer need to have their own room.
We don’t have room for it in our kitchen, anyway. We need that space for our deep-fryers. That’s a much bigger priority to us, after all.
The Gaps In Our Bathroom Stalls
This seems like such an easy fix, so why haven’t we done something about this? The anxiety that comes with going to the bathroom in public is exacerbated by the gaps in the doors. FIX THE GAPS! FIX THE GAPS! FIX THE GAPS!
In London on their subway system (called the “Underground”… weird), they always warn you to “mind the gap.” This isn’t what they’re referring to, but it’s a much more applicable warning here.
Covering Up At The Beach
In Europe, babies are naked on the beach. Women have their boobs out and it is no big thing. Men are in speedos and are living their lives. In the US we are covered up and way too overdressed for the beach.
We need to lighten up and let it all hang out. Well, not all. We have weird hang-ups about sexuality here. Boobs in movies make them rated R. But violence? That’s totally PG-13 territory.
We tip our tour guides. We tip our concierge, our servers, our party planners, our movers, our, well… we tip our literally everything. If we don’t tip, we suck. We need to just pay these people more, so our tip is just an added bonus and not a necessity.
In other countries, employees are paid a living wage. In America, we’re forced to rely on the kindness of strangers. It’s like a hidden tax. Speaking of…
We Don't Include Our Tax
Why is the final price hidden? Why don’t they just factor in the tax they advertise? Why are we forced to constantly do math in our heads? Wouldn’t you rather see the price and know that the tax is included in it?
And some states don’t have any tax, while others do. It’s way too confusing. Why do we do this to ourselves? It’s like America is trying to frustrate its citizens that love it so much.
Why don’t our plugs have an on and off switch when other places around the world do? Yeah, you mean our plugs can have on and off switches? Why have we been living this long like this? How do we even manage to turn anything on or off?
The answer is that we actually don’t. Think about the last time you turned your phone off when it wasn’t for trying to fix it. Yeah, probably not very recently. At least our plugs manage to look like cute surprised faces. They have that going for them.
We Call These Cookies
For other countries, these are not cookies. These are biscuits. But our biscuits are so different than these biscuits. Both biscuits and cookies are delicious, but they are not the same. It’s all very confusing.
Biscuits in America, though, probably can’t be beat. Definitely at Red Lobster, too, when they’re unlimited. Which is another thing that we’re really all about here in America: all you can eat food. That’s not the case in other parts of the globe.
Scones Or Biscuits
Okay, so these are biscuits… right? Why are you looking at me like that? Are those biscuits? No, apparently not. In other places in the world, those are scones. And why is there all that stuff on it?
And cookies are biscuits, biscuits are scones but scones aren’t cookies? It’s all too much to think about. Maybe we should all just call them bake-ies and enjoy the delicious, gluten-y goodness. A delicious food by any other name would taste as sweet.
The Way We Order The Date
We write, “1/30/2019.” The majority of the world would write, “30/1/2019.” While it makes sense to me and I think that we are right in this case, can’t we all get on the same page of the calendar? Shouldn’t the month be more important than the day?
After all, there are one through 30 days in every month (except February). The months are unique, so they should take precedence. I know Americans always think we’re right, but we’re totally right here.
The Metric System
Here is another one of those instances. Look, maybe this is a bit aggressive, but America is right and literally everyone else is incorrect. Why does everyone else in the world use the metric system? Why can’t we just learn it and use it too?
I’m sick of using Google to convert pounds to kilograms. Aren’t you? Maybe it’s time we finally give in and change. We’ll set a date on the calendar, as soon as we can agree how that should work.
Our TV Show Times
It’s confusing for people around the world to understand what 8/7c means. Hell, it’s confusing living in California and understanding it. Are we watching the Grammys at 5 or 8 Pacific Time? Someone please explain. Also, what we watch on TV is bizarre.
Not just trashy reality TV, either. We have 24/7 news channels always predicting gloom and doom for us all. It’s almost like we enjoy feeling miserable and dreading the worst. Makes sense… right?
Use Of Tea Kettles
You know what would help us calm down? A nice hot cup of tea. But tea isn’t as popular here as it is everywhere else in the world. Foreigners would be (and a confused by our lack of tea kettles.
Sure, some people in the United States have a tea kettle, but it isn’t the most popular item to have in our kitchens. In other places around the world, tea is just as popular as coffee, if not more. And because tea is a necessity, a tea kettle is too.
Look at the passion and fervor on all those fans’ faces. What are they hyped about? College football. Seriously. Who cares about college football? Nobody but us. Actually who cares about football? We are the only ones that care… and it’s not really football!
That name was taken and we took it anyway and then called football, soccer. And we don’t care about soccer. Probably because we oppose anything that takes away the right to use our arms.