Peanut Butter And Mayo Sandwiches May Be Proof That We Are At End Of Days
There are nearly eight billion people on the planet. Each and every one of them is a unique individual with their own tastes and preferences. Not every one of the 8,000,000,000 individuals will be able to agree on any one thing. And that’s okay. Our differences is what makes us unique. We don’t all have to enjoy the same things. For example, some people really enjoy pineapples on pizza, and other people are correct.
However, despite all these differences and the need to recognize it’s okay to have different tastes, there are some things that are just over the line. When it comes to food, we all have our opinions, but some things are just facts. And this one particular food trend is factually incorrect on a number of different levels. There’s nothing subjective about it. This combination of foods is objectively terrible, and it needs to be brought to your attention immediately so we can band together and stop it before it spreads any further.
That's Not A Fluffernutter
Mmmm, is this a picture of a Fluffernutter sandwich? You know what that is, don’t you?
It’s a peanut butter sandwich with marshmallow spread on it. It’s not at all nutritious or healthy, but boy is it ever delicious.
It makes a delightful dessert. Especially when you don’t skimp on the marshmallow. Just look at that sweet spread oozing out the sides of the crust here. Huh? What’s that, you say? This isn’t a Fluffernutter? Then… what is it?
Peanut Butter And Mayo
Oh… oh no. This has to be a practical joke, right? A cruel prank to play on your worst enemy?
But wait… if it is, indeed just a joke, then why is this picture shot in such a fancy manner?
The shot composition is exquisite as well as the lighting. As if it was done by a professional to show off a product. Oh dear. It appears this is, indeed real. And not only that, but people are somehow fans of this.
Please Don't Combine These
This picture would only be acceptable if jelly were added to the left half and deli meats were added to the right half.
Then, you keep the left and right halves separated from each other and apologize for having them come so close to touching.
But no. This is someone making two sandwiches, and they aren’t a peanut butter and a mayo sandwich. It’s two peanut butter and mayo sandwiches. How could such an abomination happen and also be enjoyed?
This combination actually isn’t anything new. The peanut butter and mayo sandwich is a throwback to the Great Depression.
According to Garden& Gun magazine, “Through the hardships of the Great Depression and the lean years that followed, peanut butter and mayonnaise kept many struggling households afloat.
They were also the ingredients in a sandwich that was once as popular as peanut butter and jelly in parts of the South.”
Okay, so there’s history behind it. But some folks also boiled shoe leather for food, and we’re not saying that also deserves a resurgence.
Fool's Gold Loaf
This truly might be the end of days. This peanut butter and mayo sandwich craze isn’t the only weird food combo folks are adopting.
Here’s another classic one. It’s called the Fool’s Gold Load, and it was popularized by Elvis.
It’s a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Starts out okay enough. But then you throw in bananas and bacon. While decadent, it still sounds delightful. But here’s where it gets weird… some people also like throwing in pickles. Yeah, that’s where we exit.
Peanut Butter And Scrambled Eggs
Peanut butter is a versatile food. It can be added to a lot of different items.
Like peanut butter, eggs are also able to be added to a ton of different items. It’s also a great source of cheap protein.
So eggs and peanut butter have a lot in common. But like people, that doesn’t mean they’ll be compatible. You need chemistry, and down to their atoms, eggs and peanut butter seem like they don’t belong. So please stop this.
Peanut Butter And Pickle Sandwich
Remember how delicious the Fool’s Gold Loaf sounded until someone decided to add pickles to the equation?
Well, some folks enjoy peanut butter and pickle sandwiches as is. No jelly, bananas or bacon needed for them. Why keep the best parts?
Why not just snack on something that only a woman with cartoonish, stereotypical pregnancy cravings could possibly enjoy? For extra “yuck,” one variation on this sandwich folks seem to dig is adding Sriracha. If you excuse us, we’re gonna just go wretch now.
Pickle Juice And Nothing
Pickles can be a divisive condiment. Heck, us saying that they’re a condiment is divisive in and of itself.
They used to be cucumbers, but are turned into something different thanks to a brine. They’re best enjoyed with something that compliments them.
Eating them by themselves seems like a bit much, but it’s excusable. But some people like drinking the juice pickles reside in. That’s… just no. Cucumber water is refreshing, but pickle juice? That should be a punishable offense.
Hot Dog And Fruity Pebbles
What do you like on your hot dogs? Ketchup, mustard and relish are the usual go-to answers.
Some people put a full pickle and tomato slice. That’s Chicago style. As if their pizza choices weren’t controversial enough, they had to make hot dogs crazy as well.
But Chicago style has nothing on whatever this style is. You can tell this is a legit fad because of how professionally this is shot. It’s a fruity cereal, but whoever did this has clearly gone cookoo like Coco Puffs.
Orange Juice In Cereal
It turns out there are a couple of popular-ish yet weird ways that some have their cereal.
Cereal is obviously a breakfast food. Many people tend to enjoy it with a side of Orange Juice, which is best enjoyed at breakfast time as well.
But what if you’re in a hurry and only have time to consume one of these items? Well, you could combine them! Not that you should, though. The only thing that would make this weirder is if you had it for dinner.
Ice Cubes In Cereal
You know how when you go to a bar it’s annoying when the bartender waters down your overpriced drink by adding too much ice?
Well, imagine having your morning cereal watered down with ice cubes. Some people somehow prefer it this way.
What’s the cause of this? If you wanted cold milk, just keep it in the fridge. Hopefully you know you’re supposed to do that to begin with. Otherwise, you’re just pouring liquid food poisoning on top of your Cheerios.
Flaming Hot Cheetos And Milk
This works as a wonderful transition from all the weird trends in how to eat cereal.
That’s actually the only way it works. Flaming Hot Cheetos are a great snack. Sure, they may be a little too spicy for some to handle.
Milk is one of the best ways to combat heat from foods. But you’re not supposed to pour it directly on what you’re eating. We just pray that they don’t drink this milk afterwards. Cheeto dust milk is too gross for us to fully comprehend.
Chopsticks And Snacks
Eating snacks like popcorn, potato chips and Cheetos is an excellent way to dirty your hands.
But not everyone wants their hands to be dirty. So what do some do? They eat these snacks with chop sticks. That just feels so fundamentally incorrect, doesn’t it?
It’s like that one old episode of Seinfeld where they ate candy bars with a knife and fork. It keeps you clean, but what the heck are you even doing? Throw in some odd cultural appropriation and you’ve got yourself a big bowl of “please stop.”
Doritos And Cottage Cheese
There’s little better in life than dipping a potato chip in some French onion dip or a tortilla chip in some salsa.
Chips on their own are wonderful, but having something to dip them into cranks up the enjoyment to untold levels.
But if you’re afraid of enjoying yourself too much, you could always just dip some Doritos in cottage cheese. This has to be some old wive’s tail of a remedy to cure ingrown toenails or something. Why else would you do this to yourself.
Pizza And M&M's
Remember earlier when we threw some shade at all the people that enjoy eating pineapples on pizza?
Yeah… it looks like we might owe them a sincere apology. Their selection of pizza toppings is not even close to being the weirdest.
Chocolate on pizza seems so wrong. Marinara, cheese and bread is such a savory combo, why would you sully it with something so sweet? That ruins both wonderful sensations. At least the chocolate will only melt in your mouth, not in your ham (topping).
Fries And Frosties
Savory and sweet is a strange combo that we wouldn’t really recommend to too many folks.
However, salty and sweet is where it’s at. This is a combo that we can get behind. You’ve likely seen people do it.
Heck, you’ve probably done it yourself. Salted caramel and salted chocolate is delicious, so why not add some salt to your ice cream? The potato is strange, but it’s mostly just a receiver for what it’s dipped in, so this is okay in our books.
The Next Step
Okay, so we showed you that last lovely combination in order to set up this not so lovely combo.
Dipping your French fries in a Frosty at Wendy’s is good, but like with many good things, some people have ruined it.
It’s become popular to also dip chicken nuggets in the frosty. Why would you disrespect BBQ or Ranch like that? What’s next? Are you also gonna dip your hamburger patty? We should stop talking… we don’t want to give them any ideas.
Fruit With Hot Sauce And Salt
Salty and sweet is a winning combo. We’ve already gone over this. Fruit is sweet.
So adding some salt to it can kick it up a notch. We’re still on board. But this next step is where we get lost.
Why add hot sauce? That just seems like too much. Also, hot sauce is full of vinegar, which isn’t a great flavor to add. Too much, and those cucumbers might become pickles, and we’re right back to that mess of combos again.
Bacon And Chocolate
We’ve seen that chocolate shouldn’t be added to things that are savory. So… how do we feel about this?
Chocolate is wonderful. Bacon is wonderful. But is chocolate poured onto bacon wonderful? Spoiler alert: is actually is really good.
But we think bacon is doing most of the heavy lifting here. Bacon can be added to just about anything and improve it. Hamburgers? Winner. Ice cream? Winner. Funerals? Sorry for your loss, but this definitely makes us feel a little better already. Winner.
Based on some of these devious delicacies we’ve seen, peanut butter and mayo sandwiches almost don’t seem as bad.
Almost. They are still blasphemous abominations that should be eliminated with fire and holy water should be sprinkled over the ashes to ensure the essence doesn’t escape and cause further harm.
Remember: this is a dish popularized during the Great Depression. Don’t take your culinary skills from a time period where desperation was the main ingredient in every single dish.