PB And Pickle Sandwiches Are A Thing And People Are Freaking Out
Sandwiches have to be one of (if not the) most perfect meals on the planet. And we say “meals” instead of “food” because a sandwich can contain every element of a meal you need. It has your proteins in the form of meats, dairy in the form of cheese, fruits and vegetables when you throw in tomatoes, cucumbers, spinach and any other produce you desire and your wheats and grains with the bread. The entire food pyramid is represented in one easy to carry package!
Another great aspect of sandwiches is how customizable they are. You can put just about anything you want in them. But just because you can… doesn’t mean you should. Some people (and we use this term in the loosest, most basic sense of the word we can muster) have defiled the sanctity of sandwiches by combining two separately wonderful foods that should never, ever be served combined…
Peanut Butter And Pickle Sandwiches
This isn’t a practical joke to cruelly play on an unsuspecting friend. This is an actual menu item in some places.
Lee Zalben, founder and president of Peanut Butter & Co. said she learned about this when a pregnant woman walk into the shop.
She was two weeks past due and she said she had a craving for a peanut butter and pickle sandwich. “I’d never heard of it. But we like to think we can take care of anyone’s peanut butter craving,” Zalben shared with the NY Times.
No... No, No, NO
“So I ran to the corner store and bought a jar of pickles. I made two sandwiches, one for her and one for me.
That was all it took. The first time I tried one, I had this incredible sense of tasting something really new for the first time.
I couldn’t get it out of my head. I had one every day for a week,” Zalben said. Um… good for you, but why inflict the rest of us with this?
Maybe Chips Would Help?
Was it just us or did the longer pickles on the peanut butter seem way more unsettling for some reason? Oh…just us?
If that’s not your jam (you know, that stuff that’s supposed to go on a peanut butter sandwich) there are other options.
You can try to get artsy and put it on fancier bread. You can also get a little trashy and put chips on there. Here’s the problem, though: it’s still peanut butter and pickles.
Spice It Up
You can also throw Sriracha on there as well. What an absolute treat we have in this sandwich…in reverse land.
Not only are you going to want to throw up because of the flavor in your mouth, but now your mouth will also be burning and it’ll hurt coming out the back end.
Because why enjoy sandwiches for the flawless food they are (were… sigh) when you can instead punish yourself for no reason during lunch every single damn day.
Peanut Butter And Pickle Pancakes
Look, we’re bigger fans of alliteration than anyone. Totally tickled and tantalized can’t you tell?
But the problem with peanut butter and pickles wasn’t the fact that it needed another ‘P’ word in it. Why ruin yet another dish with this combo.
This insult is an international incident in any house of pancakes. We need to form a breakfast allied powers to take down this axis of evil flavors. The only thing to fear, is fear itself… and what your bowel movements will look like after eating this.
Does seeing peanut butter sandwiches ruined with pickles bring a stinging tear to your eyes?
Well, this will literally bring tears to your eyes, and not just because someone is chopping onions in here. It’s the flavor that will do that.
Why do you need sharp and pungent flavors with peanut butter? What’s wrong with sweetness? Peanut butter and jelly became iconic for a reason you know. No use trying to improve on perfection with something that only ruins
What's Wrong With Just Jelly?
When did people get bored with jelly? It’s delicious! It’s great on sandwiches and also in donuts.
If you don’t like the consistency, then switch to jam or preserves. But why go so overboard on the selections here?
The fruits look okay. But then things go off the rails with the tomato, which yes, is technically a fruit. But that’s just abnormal. And we know pickles are just vinegar-y cucumbers, which are also a fruit. But you know in your heart that’s wrong as well. Just stick to the classics, please.
That's Not A Fluffernutter
Thank goodness, we finally get some sense in here. Is this a picture of a Fluffernutter sandwich? You know what that is, don’t you?
It’s a peanut butter sandwich with marshmallow spread on it. Nutritious? Not even a little. But it’s delicious, and that’s better than what we’ve seen thus far.
Just don’t skimp on the marshmallow. Look at that sweet spread oozing out the sides of the crust here. Wait… What’s that, you say? This isn’t a Fluffernutter? Oh boy..
Peanut Butter And Mayo
It’s (gag) a peanut butter and mayo sandwich. This combination actually isn’t anything new. The peanut butter and mayo sandwich is a throwback to the Great Depression.
“Through the hardships of the Great Depression and the lean years that followed, peanut butter and mayonnaise kept many struggling households afloat.
They were also the ingredients in a sandwich that was once as popular as peanut butter and jelly in parts of the South.”
Well, isn’t that just lovely?
Add Some Lettuce?
You know what screams, “This is a wonderful treat to feed my family in the modern age?”
A sandwich that people ate during the Great Depression when they were at their most desperate. Doesn’t that sound just “yum?”
And look, folks are trying to dress it up. Why not add some lettuce to this mess so this way it can get soggy and watered down as well? This tastes exactly like that abundance of saliva in your mouth right before you vomit.
Peanut Butter, Egg, Bacon And Cheese On English Muffin
We never thought we’d have to say this, but you don’t have to put peanut butter on everything.
A bacon, egg and cheese breakfast sandwich on a muffin is savory deliciousness. What it doesn’t need is more savory.
It could use some sweet. Imagine dipping that in some maple syrup. Decadence at its finest. But making this sandwich stick to the roof of your mouth as well as your ribs? This is a coma waiting to happen.
How Could You?
On the bright side, whoever created this dish knew that peanut butter and pizza would be a terrible combination, alliteration be darned.
On the horrifyingly lose all faith in humanity side, just what in the heck were they thinking here?
“Hmmm… nobody likes Peeps, but I have so many leftover from three Easters ago. How can I get people to eat them? Ooh! What if I combine it with a food people love? Yeah, that’ll do it.”
Banana, Ham And Cheese
Ham and cheese is a classic combo. It goes great with eggs, on chicken or just by itself on a sandwich.
But you know what it doesn’t go great on? Bananas. That fruit is the perfect way to describe this dish.
It is, indeed, bananas. What would possess someone to do this? It’s not like you can even say that the bananas make a great meat substitute to make this a vegan dish… with ham and cheese.
Flamin' Hot Cheetos On Bagel And Cream Cheese
Bagels and shmear is some of the best comfort food you can get.
Aside from the cream cheese, you can add lox, capers, onion or tomatoes. Orrrrr… you can add this dusty snack item to make the biggest mess possible.
Look, we never thought we’d say this, but… that’s just too much cheese. Or at least too much of the wrong types of cheese. Cream doesn’t go with flamin’ hot. Try another dairy product, please.
Flamin' Hot Cheetos And Pudding
Okay, when we said, “Stick to another dairy product, please,” we didn’t think someone would actually do it.
Is it weird that we’re somewhat relieved they went with vanilla instead of chocolate or butterscotch? This is also somehow worse.
This is terrible, but the best possible outcome. Which means that someone put thought into this. So this wasn’t an accidental spill. This was a choice. Someone could have eaten anything, and they decided to do this to themselves. Disturbing.
Were you deeply disturbed watching something savory and zesty get dipped into something sweet?
Well would you feel better seeing the reverse happen? Spoiler: no, you won’t at all. While we’re impressed with the presentation, this is an affront to everything we hold dear.
Why must everyone try and combine these flavors? You’re not gonna discover a new world like some kind of culinary Christopher Columbus. You’re just being a bigger monster and sadist than the actual Columbus.
You know those deep, dark corners of the internet full of crazy nonsense that haunts the back of your eyelids every time you drop them over your peepers?
Well, what if we prepared them as a meal to feed your family? Wouldn’t that be fun?
We all know what a turducken is. But how about a Chictopus? Why not act less like a chef and more like a mad scientist thinking they’re a deity creating a new, delicious species?
This is hard to look at. Imagine eating it. Wait, no. Don’t. You don’t want to even try.
This looks to be (as far as we can guess) rice, chili, chocolate chip cookies and ketchup. Maybe in some kind of cream sauce?
You want to know the best part of this? The guy who posted it said that it was made for him by his girlfriend and was bragging about how talented she is at cooking. Love can blind your sense of smell and taste, too, apparently.
Get The Pho Out Of Here
You know how when you go to noodle shops and order a nice, big delicious of pho how you can add in additional items?
This usually includes an egg, some form of protein like chicken or pork and maybe some fried onion strings.
But you’re not supposed to be able to add items from the dessert menu to the soup. If this was the same price as chives, then we can see the value of it, but ask for the ice cream on the side at least.
A Little History To Go
This peanut butter and pickle sandwich isn’t anything new. Apparently, it shares a very similar story to its PB and mayo cousin.
According to Slate, the peanut butter a pickle sandwich got its start during the Great Depression. Americans were cutting corners any way they could, and pickles and peanut butter were cheap and plentiful.
But again, folks during the Great Depression also ate wallpaper. Just because it makes you nostalgic doesn’t mean it’s nutritious.