Men’s Fashion From The ’70s Is So Ridiculous That It Needs To Come Back!
Do you ever feel like you were born in the wrong era? Sure, we have a ridiculous amount of modern conveniences these days, but when it comes to your taste, do you find yourself disagreeing with all the latest trends? Do the movies and music seem too polished and artificial to you? Do you long to live in a time where things were a bit more real and gritty? If so, then the 1970s was the decade you would have loved the most.
Besides its awesome music and movies, they also had a fashion all their own. And when we say “all their own,” we mean it. Some of these fashion trends seem like they were sealed in a vault on December 31st, 1979 and haven’t been opened since. But while looking through them, we’re struck with a sense of nostalgia for a time we weren’t even a part of. This era’s fashion is absurd, and it needs to come back immediately.
Do you have a hard time picking out an outfit in the morning before school or work?
What shirt should you wear? And what pants go best with it? It’s such a huge waste of time every single day.
If only we still had these styling jumpsuits. It’s an outfit that’s pre-assembled and ready to go. And who wouldn’t want to wear a suit that’s the same color as the sky from neck to ankles? A fool, that’s who!
Sweater vests are a great style choice to show off that you’re smart, stylish and a little geeky.
But sweater vests are usually so bland. They’re all just one color, and are always in the same exact shape.
But back in the ’70s you had so many options. You could sport a sweater vest that looked like a tank top and had every color imaginable in it. And is it made of super itchy wool? You bet it is!
Vest With Cap
If you’re going to don a vest, you have to think long and hard about what you’re going to wear with it.
Back in the ’70s, it was apparently all the rage to wear your vest with a matching cap.
This way you can romp around looking like a color palette-swapped Robin Hood. Doesn’t this guy look like he’s about to give a motivational speech to his band of merry men? Dress for the job you want, after all.
Has binge watching Game Of Thrones made you think you’d like to try wearing a tunic but are afraid it’d look ludicrous?
This guy proves… well, that your fears were founded. But look how confident he looks, though! Who are we to doubt him?
Yeah, that thing is a bit much, but you know it’s warm af. And also super comfy. It’s like a carpet you can wear over the majority of your body. Winter isn’t coming, but disco definitely is.
The ’70s were a period of years where several revolutions took place. One of these revolutions were about pants.
There was maybe no greater 10 year span where more innovations in slacks took place. Granted, almost none of them stuck, but we can try again!
Just look at this guy! He oozes charisma from every pore. Maybe it’s his chiseled physique, but it’s likely his plaid slacks. Who wouldn’t want pants made from the material they use to cover bagpipes?
We can’t talk about style and pants of the ’70s without talking about bell bottoms.
Well, we could, but then everyone would be all like, “Hey, how come you never mentioned bell bottoms? That seems like a glaring oversight.”
Yes, they’re strange, but that’s only because we’re looking at them with our modern sensibilities. You know these things were crazy comfy. Are you tired of feeling like your jeans are strangling your ankles? Then this is the fashion choice for you!
Or maybe your issue with bell bottoms is that they don’t go “too far” enough.
If that’s the case (if so, wow), then you need to get yourself a pair of long-legged pants. These make you look like your torso is only 11 inches long.
Trick strangers into thinking your legs go on for as many days as a fortnight. And did we mention that they come in a number of crazy patterns? Because guess what? They come in a number of crazy patterns.
This advertisement makes perfect sense. After all, that song wasn’t called “Some People Were Kung Fu Fighting.”
We all know that “Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting,” and even when you’re in the midst of a martial arts competition where your very life is on the line, you still want to look your best.
This needs to come back. Who hasn’t tried on a pair of pants at the mall and thought, “Yeah, they fit… but how effective are they at allowing my to roundhouse suckers in the mouth?”
Now that you’ve seen what pants were like in the seventies, let’s take a wholesome and not at all pervy look at what was going on under those pants.
Or in this case, what was going on under the pants, T-shirts and trench coats.
This is perfect if you’re a never nude who doesn’t even like leaving your upper body exposed. This looks like a space suit for prudes, but it’s also practical to keep you warm in the winter.
We’ve seen underwear that covers a good portion of your body that will keep you warm in the winter.
But what if you want a similar type of undergarment, but one that will keep you cool in the summertime?
Then you need this man hole underwear and undershirt combo, fella. Just look at how well that breathes. You ever hear a pug breath? This is like the exact opposite of that. Wind whips through here so freely you might as well not wear it at all.
Plain vs. Not-So-Plain
Sure, there are all sorts of underwear options you can wear these days. We have plenty of choices.
But back then… man. It was the wild west. Just look at that guy up front in the matching patterns.
You could also be lame if you wanted. That was a golden era for lame underwear as well. Like we said, options. You can even tell how cool they are based on their hair. In the ’70s, you and your bros rocked fros.
If you look up “machismo” in the dictionary you won’t find this guy, because he’s too cool to read.
Quit being such a nerd and get drawn in by his animal magnetism, accentuated by his colorful array of underwear.
Imagine going on a date with and then going home with this guy. He comes out of the bedroom wearing this. You’d simultaneously be into it, but wouldn’t want him to take them off because they’re so cool. That
Patterned, Mesh Bikini Bottom
This collection of underwear has a little something for nobody. There’s a lot to unpack here.
We jested about how great the previous underwear fashions we’ve seen were, but this snapped us back to reality and we gotta be real here.
This has a combination of everything we’ve seen so far, but shrunk it down to an uncomfortable level. Why wear designer, mesh underwear? You’re paying a ton of money for hardly any fabric. Then again, inflation wasn’t as bad back then, so we guess it doesn’t cost that much by today’s standards.
Feathers In Hats
If you think about a stereotypical outfit from the ’70s, you might just picture what a pimp wears.
Well, back then, it wasn’t just for pimps. You weren’t cool if you weren’t sporting a feather in your cap.
Call this guy Yankee Doodle, because he put a feather in his cap and called it “Macaroni.” Well, we can’t be sure that’s what he called it, but that’s what we’d call it. What can we say, we’re a fan, as cheesy as it sounds.
Those shirts look like they were painted onto these gentleman. And it’s not just because of how tight they are.
Those patterns are something straight out of an art course. Clothing companies weren’t happy unless they had a minimum of 90 colors in each shirt.
And the way they’re patterned on there. It’s exhausting to the eye. We feel like we need a nap after only five seconds of looking at these. It’s a bold choice, and bold choices win the day.
These shirts aren’t just called “ruffles” because that’s the name of this particular fashion trend.
They’re called that because like the Lay’s potato chips, you can’t have just one. Well, you can… but why would you want to?
Look how awesome it looks when paired with another. You and a friend need to get complimentary ruffle shirts and hit the town. That’d be super awesome today. When’s the last time you saw two dudes in ruffle shirts? Have you ever seen that?
Caterpillars must have been exhausted during this decade, because silk was absolutely everywhere you looked.
Hope those little critters got paid overtime, because they worked their literal tails off before going into their cocoons and butterflying away from this work.
Say what you want about how the fashions of the ’70s looked, but there has never been and may never be another time in all of human history that men were as comfortable in the clothes they were wearing.
Construction hats are a great way of preventing death from falling objects cracking your skull open.
But you know what construction hats are even better at? Bringing an outfit together! What better fashion statement is there than looking like you’re taking a break from operating a crane?
Why stop there? Why not wear a mining cap or a hazmat suit to the club? When you’re on a date, you always want to bring protection, after all. What keeps you safer than this?
Did you think the fad of popping your collar was invented in the early ’00s by frat bros?
This man right here laughs at that notion, that is, if he weren’t so manly that he’s physically incapable of enough joy to muster a laugh.
How boss does he look? That collar looks like it couldn’t lay flat if you wanted it to. And why would you want it to? Live your best life and try this out just once. You deserve to feel and look this powerful.
Now let’s see what guys in the ’70s looked like when you put all these fashion trends together in one outfit.
Granted, we don’t see all of them, but we can safely infer that they’re likely wearing some form of ludicrous underwear.
As a bonus, they’re even taking their pet rocks out for a walk. These trends need to come back. No one’s stopping you from wearing any of these outfits. Go to a vintage store and stock up. You know you want to.