Jeff Goldblum’s Wardrobe Choices Makes Him The Dad We All Dream Of
Jeff Goldblum is a national treasure. Scratch that. He’s better than a national treasure, because National Treasure is Nic Cage’s thing, and with all due respect to him, Jeff Goldblum is way better. Although we’re willing to still call Jeff a national treasure if it means that we can get a movie where Nicolas Cage assembles a team and tries to heist him. That sounds like a summer blockbuster on any continent, and inexplicably, in any season. But back to Mr. Goldblum!
We all fell in love with him when he played Dr. Ian Malcolm in Jurassic Park. Who knew that mathematicians could be such bad boys? Or make us feel all sorts of feelings when talking about chaos? If you haven’t been keeping up with Jeff, you’ll be pleased to know he’s the opposite of guacamole: he only gets better with age. And if you don’t believe us, check out his Instagram page. The man is an absolute fashion icon.
Jeff Goldblum Then
Just look at that smoldering stare. Not too closely, though. You may fall into it and never be able to find your way back out.
Here he is in Independence Day. Who knew that scientists could be so hot?
While onscreen, he usually dressed blandly nerdy or blandly cool (he rocked the heck out of that jacket and open shirt in JP). But in real life? He takes it to a whole other level.
Like…other worldly level.
Jeff Goldblum Now
Jeff Goldblum is known for being soft-spoken with a somewhat mumbly and distinct delivery.
However, there’s nothing quiet about that shirt. When it comes to his fashion, this man is as loud as you can be.
We hope you’re a fan of screen-printed shirts, because you are about to see a lot of them. Find you someone who loves you as much as Jeff Goldblum loves screen-printed shirts. That’s the greatest and purest love you can get.
“Roses are, ah, um red. Yes. And violets… uh, violets are actually purple, but for now, we’ll say they’re blue.
I look and feel, erm, simply amazing in this outfit. And I know you love me, but I… I! Like you, too.”
If you’re ever in need of uplifting, simply imagine Jeff Goldblum reciting poetry in his rose shirt. Also, can he rock some shades? You’re darn right he can. This man is as valuable as solid gold(blum)!
A Wild Goldblum Appeared
Imagine walking through nature and stumbling across this majestic sight. How would you react in that situation?
Would you get completely starstruck and gush and tell him how much you’ve always loved him and ask for him to autograph your forearm so you can get a tattoo of his autograph applied over it?
If so, we understand, but that’s the wrong move. When Jeff’s in his nature shirt, he becomes one with it, and you should leave him be.
It’s common knowledge, but in case you don’t know, Frankenstein is the doctor, not the monster.
Who knew that he had a love for classic scary movies? It makes perfect sense if you’re familiar with his body of work, and not just the works he wears on his body.
He starred in a remake of the classic horror film The Fly. That remake became a classic of its own, and it’s all thanks to this gent right
We’ve seen Jeff Goldblum in stylish glasses from the time we were all young.
And so far, we’ve seen him able to rock screen-printed tees, which is a feat that very few can successfully pull off.
That would be enough, but you don’t become a fashion icon by stopping at “enough.” Why not throw in some slick shoes, sweet pants and an even sweeter hat. Oh, and pose in front of a piano. But is that just for show, or can he actual tickle the ivories?
Yup, Jeff Goldblum is also musically inclined. If you ever thought that his speech pattern was pure jazz, that’s on brand for him.
He hosts a semi regular jazz night in Los Angeles. If you’re ever in the area, you should absolutely check it out.
There, you can not only see him perform, but you can also see one of his sure-to-be-iconic outfits up close and personal. You like zebra printed pants? So does h
Zebra printed pants are one thing. But why only wear it on the lower half?
It makes you feel like a zebra centaur, which is a mythical beast that doesn’t even exist. But Jeff Goldblum is a mythical creature that is very real.
And sometimes, he likes to wear zebra everything and go out in nature. We’re actually not sure that he’s not a werezebra, and transforms into one at his liesure. It sounds like something he’d do.
Staying Warm And Cozy
Jeff Goldblum may not seem like it, but he is human (we know, we’re shocked as well. He seems to good for us).
And as such, humans can sometimes feel a little chilly, so they need to bundle up.
When he does, Jeff (hopefully he doesn’t mind us calling him “Jeff”) does it like he does everything else: in style. Those colorful geometric shapes are perfect for someone who so famously played a mathematician, aren’t they?
You know how sometimes you go to the beach and older European gentleman rock tiny speedos?
We should say “try rocking,” because it’s never flattering. Well, at least now we know the look they were going for.
And yes, it doesn’t make much less logically since they’re so much older than Jeff Goldblum, but it still actually makes sense, since Jeff Goldblum is timeless. You can’t prove that he’s not an immortal, time-hopping being. That would actually answer more questions than it raises.
We were thinking it already. You were thinking the same thing. So we’ll just go ahead and be the ones to say it.
We wish Jeff Goldblum was our dad. Imagine how great that would be.
He would take us on family vacations all over the world. Look at all of the places he’s appeared in these photos. Imagine getting to travel alongside him. We don’t think the Dragon Balls are real, but if they were, we’d collect them and this would be our world
Remember being dropped off at school by your parents and how humiliating it always was?
Even though you may love your parents, you can’t help but be embarrassed by them because they’re so geeky and dress like such dorks.
Yet… that’s somehow what makes Jeff Goldblum so cool. We’d re-enroll in school and get in even more debt just to have him show up in this outfit and transport us onto our next family adventure. We’d be good wit
Or imagine getting to work with Daddy Goldblum on one of his jazz songs.
And yes, we’re filled with all sorts of weird, conflicting emotions gushing over him while calling him “Daddy Goldblum.” We’re working through it.
There’s a lot going on in this shirt. One element of it should be more than enough. But as we already pointed out, “enough” is never enough for this man. But with all his crazy get-ups, how would he dress at more formal events?
Oh wow. We never thought it’d be possible to pull off a formal look that includes an adorable printed screen shirt, yet here we are.
What kind of fancy shindig do you think he’s at? We have a guess (mostly a hope, really):
We can’t be the first ones to wish that Jeff became our honorary Daddy Goldblum, so maybe he has swearing-in ceremonies every other full moon. We don’t know what the ritual entails, but we’re down for it.
If you ever thought that Jeff Goldblum was one dimensional, then we shall refer you to this photo that says otherwise.
Depending on what side you see him, you can get two entirely different aspects of his personality.
On the one, there’s the artistic, creative side. And on the other… um. We dunno. Someone who really likes Guy Fieri? And honestly, why wouldn’t he? And why wouldn’t you? He got his fashion sense from Jeff, so he has great taste (if you exclude his restaurant menu items).
Professional wrestler Ric Flair is known as the “Nature Boy.” Clearly, that moniker should also belong to Jeff Goldblum.
Who do you think would win in a grappling contest between Flair and Goldblum? That’s a Wrestlemania main event if we ever saw one.
Frankly, the winner would be all of us. They’d likely realize they have more in common than difference, bury the hatchet, and invite the whole crowd out to a bar for drinks.
It’s my fantasy…let me have thi
Okay, we’re now several photos deep into this gallery, so we have to ask:
Just where in the heck does Mr. Goldblum get all of these spectacular shirts? Is there a shop in Hollywood that any of us could saunter in and grab a top like this?
Or are there forest elves and sprites that spin these threads and hand deliver them? Maybe that’s why he spends so much time in nature. He’s just doing some shopping.
Okay, we’ve seen innumerable examples that Jeff Goldblum can rock screen-printed shirts better than anyone on Earth.
But does he still look great in the leather jacket style he was wearing when he drove into our hearts as Ian Malcolm all those years ago?
We dare say he looks even better. Leather is a good look for our new dad. A… “leather daddy” if you will. That seems like a nice term, and definitely not something we need to Google.
We all know those old Uncle Sam posters that said, “I Want You!”
It was powerful imagery that was insanely effective at recruiting people to the cause. Well, we think this image may be just as stirring.
Just slap some text over it and you can get folks to do anything. “Jeff Goldblum Wants You To_____.” Recycle? Exercise? Don’t Pollute? Use Your Turn Signals? Vote For Pedro? You’re welcome for this amazinfreebie, advertisers of the world.
We’d say that we saved the best for last, but these outfits are all equally good.
Jeff Goldblum’s fashion choices are like the children we wish he saw us as: you can’t pick a favorite and have to love them all equally.
We don’t know how old Jeff Goldblum is, because Wikipedia doesn’t believe he’s an immortal like he totally is. But whenever we get to his age, may all of our quads and hamstrings look this good. Jeff Goldblum bless us all.