Germany Now Has Sausage Vending Machines Because Of Course
It’s important every now and then to stop and take a moment to take stock of what you’re grateful for in life. Your health, your family and your friends, of course. But besides that, have you ever thought about how lucky you are to not only be alive at all, but alive in perhaps the most convenient period in human history? Think about it: we have access to unlimited information and communication thanks to a device that fits in our pockets. Thanks, cell phones!
Beyond that, we also have access to so much food. It wasn’t that many generations ago in the grand scheme of thins when humans had to hunt and forage for all of their meals, and eating every day wasn’t always so assured. But thanks to being alive in this day and age, not only is getting food much simpler, but our options are outstanding. We often don’t know what to eat because we’re so overwhelmed with choice. And we can get this food super quickly as well…
When it comes to quickness and convenience in getting food, you truly have to stand in awe of vending machines.
For some change, you can get an assortment of snacks or drinks, and you don’t even need to go in a store to do it.
Want something sweet? Get yourself a chocolate bar or bag of Skittles. Need something salty? Get some chips or nuts. Thirsty? Grab a soda or bottled water. These things have you covered when you’re needing sustenance.
As great as vending machines are, though, they’re really only good for getting something to tide you over until your next meal.
Yeah, you can get a whole pile of junk food, and that might fill you up.
But eventually you’re going to want something heartier, like, say… sausage for example. Why did we go with that as the example? Because sausage is delicious and can be made into a meal. But there’s no way you could get it from a vending machine… right?
Sausage Vending Machines
If you read the title of this article you’d know that wasn’t true. You can now get sausages from vending machines.
Where? Germany. Why? Also Germany. Need we say more in way of an explanation? We don’t need to, but we will.
Germans love them some sausage, but stores aren’t always open at all hours of the night. So if they want to get bratwurst, bockwurst and barbecue meats at strange hours, they now can. Thanks again, vending machines. You’re the best.
By the way, this isn’t just one sausage vending machine that is a novelty in a particular spot people have to travel long distances for.
Sausage vending machines are now “booming” outside German cities according to a survey by the German Press Agency.
Frank(furter)ly (see what we did there? We shouldn’t be this proud, but we are), this is possibly the most German thing ever and we’d make fun of it, but you know what? We’re actually kinda jealous. Why can’t we get 24/7 smoked meats here in the U.S.?
So what are the experts saying about this novel concept? Heike Richter, an industry spokesperson, chimed in on the matter:
“Especially in structurally weak, rural areas, vending machine solutions are becoming increasingly popular.
There is a strong development towards the vending machine, which is used to deliver meat, milk, eggs and other products to customers outside of core opening times.”
It makes sense. Some folks work crazy hours, and others just live crazy hours. So again, in this era of convenience, this is the most convenient solution.
So what exactly is in these sausage vending machines? Why, whatever your heart could desire.
Well, not literally, since sausages and smoked meats aren’t that great for your heart. More like whatever your stomach desires, and it has it all.
Some butchers’ vending machines sell three or four types of sausages. They even sell side dishes. So you can get yourself a meat and potato salad, for example, and have yourself a traditional German feast in the middle of the night.
So just how many vending machines are there in Germany? When we say they’re booming, we weren’t exaggerating.
There are over 57,000 vending machines in the country. And as popular as the sausage ones are, there are many other choices.
There are vending machines that stock items such as eggs, milk, butter and even fruits and vegetables. So you can practically do your grocery shopping at any hour, even when the grocery stores aren’t open. What a weird, wonderful world we live in.
Compliment, Not Replace
If you happen to be a German grocer reading this (first of all, “hello!”) and are worried these machines might take your job, you can relax.
As popular as they are and as quickly as they’re popping up, these machines aren’t intended to replace grocery stores.
They’re meant more to compliment them. They won’t replace traditional shops, but instead will operate as a temporary convenience in areas where a shop may not be economically viable and those in the location don’t want to drive all the way to the store.
Wolfgang Kampmeier of the Berlin-Brandenburg trade association told the Berliner Zeitung newspaper that even though these are convenient, physical stores are safe from being put under by these machines.
“Vending machines will play a complementary role in brick-and-mortar retailing.”
After all, would you really want to get all your food from vending machines? Who knows how long some of those potato chips have been in some. Now imagine that with eggs. Would you feel compliment eating like that all the time? Stores are necessary.
Other Vending Machines
Of course, if you are of the mindset that you’d like to eat from vending machines exclusively, first of all… we’re concerned about you.
But second of all, it isn’t that scary of a prospect, because there are tons of options for you.
Especially if you move to Japan. Japan is known for many things, and crazy vending machines are one of them. Like this one, for example. It’s full of frozen meals. When you select you, it heats it up, so you can get a warm meal from a machine.
We’ve seen mostly junk food and meals that aren’t exactly great for your health so far.
What if you’re trying to be a little more health-conscious with the foods you put in your body? Well, Japan has you covered there as well.
Here we have a Dole vending machine. Yup, the fruit company. You can get fruit from a vending machine. In the mood for a banana? Get some change from your pocket, plunk it in and punch in the code.
You can also get vegetables from vending machines in Japan. But not just any vegetables.
We already showed you fruit, so the idea of getting other produce doesn’t seem that crazy. And we told you this was crazy, so we intend to deliver.
Lettuce show you this vending machine. Yup, pun totally intentional, because this is a fresh lettuce vending machine. You know… for when you’re out and about on a busy day and decide you need some fresh rabbit food for your mouth.
Food isn’t the only stuff you can get from vending machines while you’re in Japan.
You can get beer, sake and even underwear. That last one is pretty infamous. You can get all sorts of adult things from the vending machines in this country.
They even have Playboy machines. So if you decide to spontaneously purchase some adult magazines or personal products, you don’t have to be embarrassed buying it from a human clerk. This is a much more discrete way of doing it, and we would like to thank and welcome our new machine overlords for it.
You don’t have to get mature content to entertain yourself with from vending machines. You can stimulate your imagination as well as your body… in family friendly ways, you pervs.
Get your mind out of the gutter. You can get yourself or your kids something from a LEGO vending machine.
What would you want to build with these bricks? Why not build a vending machine? That’s such a beautiful self-sustaining model that we’re shocked this one isn’t already made from the toys.
So there you have it! Sausage vending machines. Of all the German inventions, this has to be the most Germans.
But like we said, we’re not judging… we’re jealous. Why can’t we get some of these over here in the states?
After a night at the bar wouldn’t you love to grab yourself a wiener schnitzel or bratwurst? It’d certainly beat Taco Bell for the billionth time. Although… Taco Bell vending machines would be pretty great. We’re just putting it out there, universe. Do your magic, please.