Dr. Pepper Is Coming Out With A “Birthday Cake” Soda And We Have So Many Feelings
If you live in an area where you never have to worry about going thirsty, consider yourself lucky. Gaining access to clean drinking water wasn’t always so easy. But now, not only are we able to quench our thirst with that life-giving liquid whenever we need, we can also gulp down a seemingly infinite amount of beverages. We’re living in an era of unimaginable choices, and they can frankly be quite overwhelming. When it comes to your favorite drink, what’s your go-to?
Do you enjoy sports drinks like Gatorade to replenish your electrolytes? Do you prefer a juice to get some vitamins in you? What about milk? It does a body good, after all. Then, there are sodas (or “pops” if you’re in the Midwest). There are so many different brands and flavors out there to choose from it’s kind of ridiculous. However, one particular brand recently went from “kind of” to “absolutely” ridiculous recently with one of their flavor options…
Dr Pepper can be a divisive soda. Many think it’s a bit too extra with its 23 flavors.
But it’s the harmony of those flavors in unison that give it such a unique taste that can’t be replicated, no matter how much non-medical professionals such as Mr. Pibb may try.
It’s an acquired taste, to be sure, but it’s a nice change of pace from the monotone flavors of Sprites and Pepsis of the world. It even comes in cherry vanilla now, so that’s… something.
When it comes to flavors that aren’t very controversial, birthday cake is a pretty safe bet.
Who doesn’t like the taste of pure sugary confetti frosting? It also reminds you of your dang birthday, so it makes you feel better as well thanks to using sense memories to elicit positive memories.
But why exactly are we bringing up the flavor of birthday cake in the middle of a conversation about sodas, specifically Dr Pepper? Well, if you saw the headline, you know…
Dr Pepper Icing On The Cake
This isn’t a Photoshopped image. It’s 100 percent real. Dr Pepper is trying to have its cake and drink it, too.
We already weren’t sure what to make of Dr Pepper original. What was it, a more cherry-licious root beer? Then they throw this wrench into the works.
The “Icing on the Cake” flavor of Dr Pepper debuted in 2018. Why haven’t you seen or heard of it until now? Well, that’s because it’s a secret meant for a select few…
This carbonated… beverage? Monstrosity? Defiance against our creator and trying to become malevolent deities ourselves? Whatever you want to call it, it isn’t available through retail stores.
Instead, this soda is only available to members of Dr Pepper’s exclusive “Pepper Pack” club.
And sure, joining an exclusive group and drinking a questionable beverage is the exact modus operandi of cults in their final stages, but you should have absolutely no reason to worry about consuming this, right? That isn’t a rhetorical question. We want to know if we should be alarmed.
So who are the Pepper Pack? They are described as an elite “squad” of 23 of the drink’s most zealous fans.
It allows them exclusive access to all sorts of limited edition flavors such as this particular one.
Sounds like they’re treating their biggest fans as guinea pigs. Doesn’t seem nice to us but, hey, as long as they enjoy the experience (and somehow manage to survive it), then who are we to judge. Just hope they brush their teeth after, because this has to be the most sickeningly sweet combo in history.
The flavor comes with a hat, balloon and a note thanking the receiver for their work as a Dr Pepper ambassador.
The note reads, “To the Birthday Pepper, Since you’re a die-hard Dr Pepper fan, your birth month is, well, kind of a big deal to us.
So to celebrate, we’ve created a limited-edition Birthday Cake-flavored Dr Pepper and some exclusive party supplies to help commemorate your existence. Don’t drink it all in one place. Or do. It is YOUR birthday after all. Happy birthday, The Dr Pepper Team.”
Try It For Yourself
Would you like to tempt fate and get your hands on this uber-exclusive drink?
Well… good luck. Due to its exclusive nature, it’s pretty hard to come by, even if you search on places like Amazon or eBay.
Your best bet is to sign up for the Pepper Pack and hope that room opens up. Also, we couldn’t find any reviews, so we’re not sure if all that work is even worth it. If you’re that curious, we may have another option…
Dr Pepper Birthday Cake
If you can’t get yourself a birthday cake flavored Dr Pepper, you can get yourself a Dr Pepper flavored birthday cake.
This is a real item for sale in grocery stores (or online). If you look hard enough, you can absolutely find it.
It has the same basic elements, only you’re eating it instead of drinking it. (*Throws arms out like the Hulk in Avengers Endgame*) This should be considered an absolute success! But if you’re just dying for weird soda flavors, we have other recommendations for you…
Salty Watermelon Pepsi
Dr Pepper isn’t the only major soda brand to experiment in outside of the box taste combos.
In certain markets, you can find some Pepsi flavors you’d never find in the states. For example, this salty watermelon. Um… what?
Look, adding salt to watermelon is a little trick that brings out the flavor… when you’re eating it. But drinking it? You should never drink anything that’s salty. That’s how you die when you’re stranded in the middle of the ocean. At least it’s a better taste than sea water, we suppose.
Pepsi Ice Cucumber
You know how if you add a couple of slices of cucumber to water it makes it so much more refreshing?
Well, what if you carbonate that water and slap the word “ice” on it in all caps to make it seem more extreme?
Well… you get this. Cucumber water was just fine on its own, Pepsi. We didn’t need you to Gen X it all up on us. But still, at least it’s just cucumber soda and not something weirder.
Yes, what made that last soda weird was the lack of the key ingredient being fermented in a vinegar brine.
Boy, doesn’t this just seem like it’ll quench your thirst. As bizarre a flavor as this is, we could see it having tons of fans.
People love putting pickle flavors in all manors of places you’d think it doesn’t belong, such as peanut butter sandwiches for example. And heck, pickle juice is good for you, so maybe pickle soda is even better?
Look, soda isn’t good for you, even if you get diet flavors. We know that going in.
So if you’re gonna do something that’s bad for you, you might as well try and enjoy it. This? This is not enjoying it.
You know what would be a refreshing drink? The least popular part of a buffalo wings platter. The only reason people eat celery is because it comes with ranch and blue cheese, and PLEASE don’t consider adding that to this.
Buffalo Wing Soda
Welp, that didn’t take long, did it? It’s like someone heard us mention Buffalo wings, scratched their chin and said, “Ah, yes… that will do.”
While this is likely unimaginably terrible to imbibe, at least we know it probably pairs moderately well with the celery soda.
Surely there’s a carrot soda out there as well you can add to make it a complete liquid wings basket. Perfect for the football game day animal that’s lost all their teeth but wants to maintain their diet.
Look, we’re not fans of making vegetables a flavor of soda. Soda should be fun, and veggies are not.
But at the very least, you know what vegetables are? Edible! Is this made for cows? That’s be refreshing for them.
Or maybe it’s for dogs that want to make themselves throw up but don’t feel like chewing. Look, novelty soda flavors are fun on paper, but once you create them, you have to sell them. Who the heck is going to buy this?
Wow, this made a hard 180, didn’t it. We mention that veggies aren’t fun, so what do they do?
They have a soda of the most fun food that’s out there: bacon. Look, we would never want to besmirch bacon.
But bacon is meant to be eaten. You don’t drink it. The crunchy, crispiness is what makes it so good. The texture is just as important as the flavor. Bacon is supposed to be bubbly due to the hot grease, not the soda bubbles.
Sweet Corn Soda
Honestly, this just seems kind of lazy. Allow us to explain our reasoning as to why.
The sweetness from soda (and frankly, almost every food available in the United States) comes from high fructose corn syrup. High fructose corn syrup is essentially just sweet corn syrup.
So this is basically just a plain soda. Just what we need, right? To get all the cavities and weight gain from soda without even getting to enjoy the taste. What a treat!
Peanut Butter And Jelly Soda
We mentioned peanut butter and pickle sandwiches earlier, so at the very least we should be grateful this isn’t a soda based on that.
But… come on. Peanut butter and jelly is the main dish of a meal. Don’t try to upstage it by making a soda have the same flavor.
Drinks are never the centerpiece of a meal. You can enjoy them, but they need to recognize their place as a utility player. Know your role, soda, and knock it off.
You know what? Peanut butter and jelly soda doesn’t seem so bad all of a sudden.
Butter is definitely a utility player in any meal, but to make it shine so brightly on its own? This doesn’t seem like a good idea.
Although… maybe it isn’t that bad. Sure, on its own it must be unimaginably repulsive. But let’s say you down this with some plain popcorn or dry toast. In a pinch, it could be kind of handy. Not the worst we’ve seen, here.
Okay, this is absolutely the worst we’ve ever seen here. At least with every other soda we’ve seen there’s some plausible deniability as to whether or not they were actively trying to gross us out.
But when you bottle carbonated feline urine, you’re just being mean at this point.
If you’re trying to pull a prank, then why would you label it? Are you expecting people to actually want to try this? Who enjoys the taste of cat pee? You know, besides Natty Ice drinkers?
Cherry On Top
You know what, after everything we’ve seen, we need something to wash this taste out of our mouths.
Dr Pepper Icing on the Cake suddenly doesn’t look so bad, after all. And heck, it comes with all these nice messages, so it feels like they actually care about us.
If you want to try this, do your best to worm your way into the Pepper Pack. Who knows what crazy flavor they’ll come up with next? There are certainly a world of options out there when it comes to sodas.