25 Facts About Your Gross Body System And How It Works
Study as hard as you want, there’s still a ton of junk we don’t know about the human body. I won’t workout and keep my body fat percentage at 22%. Waiting until they discover a cure for fatness. Science dudes are constantly discovering new stuff about how these gross flesh machines work so it’s only a matter of time. Here are 25 facts you may not know about your gross, gassy, skin vehicle:
In addition to being the way to a man’s heart, the stomach is the most powerful organ in the human body. So powerful in fact, that the acid in your stomach can dissolve metal. We would not endorse swallowing a fistful of nails to test this out though.
Up in Them Guts
We’re sure you’re already aware that you can live without an appendix or your useless tonsils. But did you know that you can also live, albeit super unpleasantly, without your stomach, 75% of your liver, one of your kidneys, a spleen, 80% of your intestines, and your precious, beloved ding dong. Again, DON’T TRY THIS OUT. I’m pretty good at painting a picture right?
The Skinny on Skin
The Epidermis is the outer layer of the two main parts of the skin. It regenerates every 2-4 weeks. BECAUSE WE’RE A GOSH DARN MIRACLE OF NATURE.
In a year we lose about a pound and a half of dead skin, which is better than receiving a pound and a half of dead skin, we guess.
Our bones support our entire weight and make up the foundation of our disgusting meat suits, so you’d figure they must be strong too. We bet you didn’t know they’re so strong that the average person’s bones can support the weight of 16,000 people at once! Word of caution: please do not find yourself in a situation where 16K jabronis are standing on you – your bones may survive but your soft fleshy bits will not.
Color Me Bad
Eyes, crazy skull marbles, and windows to the soul, can change color as a person ages. While relatively common, it still only occurs in roughly 10-15% of Caucasians. PLEASE NOTE: if your eyes drastically change color or start shooting lasers, GO SEE A DOCTOR.
Your lungs don’t occupy a ton of space in your body, given how neatly they sit behind your breastplate. But, filleted and stretched, the surface area of your lungs can cover a kiddie pool. Think about that next time your kids need shade when they’re splashing around in the yard on a hot summer day.
Human hair is tougher than nails. The scalp or skin that houses that hair may be weak and sensitive but hair itself is not. Human hair is strong enough to support up to 12 tons of weight – that’s two elephants or like a bazillion boxes of Thin Mints! I’ll sell you all of my hair for the right price.
To Do Without
Humans turn into whiny babies if we’re sleepy but turn into complete psychopaths if we’re hungry. The term “hangry”, while incredibly stupid, had to come from somewhere. Despite the human whine factor being higher for hunger, humans can live three weeks without food but only 11 days without sleep. Don’t believe us? Give it a go and see what happens!
For tons of athletes and most craftsmen, the hands are the most important of the body but what most of these peeps don’t realize is how much of that hand strength and stability stems from the lowly, humble pinky. If you were to lose the pinky finger in its entirety, you’d lose about 50% of the strength in your hands and 20% of your ability to wear gloves. Your mitten game would be unaffected.
Some gym bros may believe the strongest muscle in the body is the bicep (BECAUSE THEY ARE STUPID AND BAD AT KNOWLEDGE), while others think it’s the back (AGAIN, STUPID) but the strongest muscle is actually the almighty jaw – chewer of gum, destroyer of meats!
You’d be a downright jabroni to let the name of the small intestine trick you into think it’s tiny – the small intestine is approximately 20 feet long! That’s long enough for double-dutch!!!
Blood: important to vampires, tampons, human survival. It’s also way more abundant in our bodies than you could imagine! Funnelled into a thin stream, we have 60,000 miles of blood vessels. Put it this way: if you walked at an average pace, it would take you 19,354 hours to travel that distance.
Folks who suffer from albinism often have violet or red eyes (also true of cute, itty-bitty, bunny wabbits). Don’t worry – they’re not demons sent to earth to steal your soul in order to give The Devil even greater super powers. They’re missing pigment in their iris, so it reflects the light that way as opposed to blue or green or brown.
FYI If you’re a healthy dude, you’re sweatin’ buckets. Like, actual buckets. Like gross, salty, gross, gross buckets of sweat. The average dude can produce 4 gallons of sweat per day. Way to go, you gross animal. My beach body is always glistening with sweat.
For blood to flow through our veins correctly, we need to run a delightfully warm temperature. How warm, you wonder? And yes, you wonder – of course, you wonder! Well, friend, you produce enough heat in 30 minutes to boil just shy of 2 liters of water. Warm and gross – a two-fer! Pictured above is the upper body of a man in heat.
Spit may be gross to you (and it should be – it’s smelly mouth water) but it’s totally necessary for our oral organs to function properly. We produce so much of it to keep these organs humming along that we can generate enough spit in our lifetimes to fill two regular sized swimming pools.
Some folks can contort their fingers and tongues in ways that may seem impossible (and VILE). Sure, you can practice and try to learn or you can also be a disgusting being who wants to play with the spit monster in your mouth, but it would probably be a waste of your time – genetics play a huge factor here.
The only part of your disgusting body that has no blood supply is the cornea (also known as the arid desert in your face). The oxygen the cornea gets is from the air directly, unlike the rest of the body which gets it from the blood.
The human brain is like the most powerful hard drive ever. You keep it filled with times your drunken uncle Billy ruined your birthday party, but it could virtually hold all the knowledge in the world – you have 2.5 petabytes of available storage inside that old coconut of yours.
You know that feeling you get when you sneeze, like your whole body shakes and freezes for a split-second? It’s because when you sneeze, YOUR ENTIRE BODY STOPS WORKING – EVEN YOUR HEART.
Note to self: QUIT SNEEZING.
You Got Some Nerve
Nerve pulses travel from your brain to the rest of your body at a whopping 170mph. That’s NYC to LA in less than 18 hours! My nervous system should just chill out a bit and then I wouldn’t need so much alcohol.
The average person’s heart will pump about 182 MILLION litres of blood in a lifetime. That’s about 44$ million in oil OR 538,488,311.53$ in malt liquor.
R vs L
Studies show that right-handed fools live an average of nine years more than left handed fools. This is probably due to nuns beating the evil out of lefties throughout grade school for using THE DEVIL’S HAND
Parkin’ and a Sparkin’
Kissing is gross and stupid and apparently an important part of a relationship if my wife is to be trusted at all. It creates a natural high and gets the heart rate going, causing the heart to beat at 100bpm. If you do it right, it also makes your jeans fit tighter in the crotch. PA-POW!
As per the eggheads at the University of Maryland Medical Center, 99% of the calcium in your body is found in your teeth. Our recommendation would be to get them all pulled, get fake (ideally wooden!) teeth, and this way you won’t have to drink another stupid glass of milk ever again!!!!