A Donut Company Will Deliver Donuts To Your Friends Using A Nightmarish Clown
What are you afraid of? And don’t get all macho on us now. Everyone is afraid of something. There are those giant fears that scare us all, such as death, something bad happening to a loved one and the ever present dread of paying your bills on time in this continually collapsing economy. But besides the obvious ones, we all also have specific, strange phobias. Spiders? Creepy. Sharks? Terrifying, but how often do you even see them? Miniature pencils? Strange as it might be, there are people freaked out by them.
Now, let’s take a hard 180 and talk about what you love. What brings you more joy than anything in the world? Does it help take your mind off of all your woes and put you at peace? Okay, now that you have that in mind, imagine combining it with your biggest fear. How would that make you feel? This complex emotion isn’t conjecture. One company is filling its customers with it, and it’s hilariously evil.
When we asked what you love and makes you happy in life, did your mind immediately spring to donuts?
If not, don’t worry about it. We’ve all been completely incorrect in the past as well. Donuts are simply the best.
Especially when they’re elaborate creations made by people who take the craft seriously. Just look at this dozen donuts. Isn’t that one of the prettiest things you’ve ever seen? These donuts are the work of a specific delicious donut company.
Hurts Donut is a donut chain that is relentless in their pursuit of making the perfect donut.
As you saw in the previous picture, they like to have fun with what they do. Recently, they came up with a fun (debatable) idea.
You see, they’re only located in three places: Frisco, Texas; Springfield, Missouri and Middleton, Wisconsin. So if you want a Hurts Donut, you might have to travel quite a ways for it. So they set up a special delivery service.
Most food establishments would deliver their food by having an employee drive their vehicle to your location.
At most, they might dress up their car so that their business brand is represented and everyone knows where you ordered from.
Hurts Donut decided on a different tactic. If you order from them, they’ll have someone dress up in this nightmarish clown costume to hand you the donuts. Why would they do something like this? Because who doesn’t love clowns? That’s why!
By the way, when we say, “Who doesn’t love clowns?,” the correct answer is “everybody.”
This delivery service isn’t intended to be done to yourself. Why on Earth would you want a potentially murderous jester coming to your house?
Now it knows where you live. And clowns aren’t like vampires, you know. They don’t need to be invited into your home in order to enter. They can come in any time they like. Heck, there’s probably one there right now.
Trick And Treat
No, this detestable donut delivery is meant for others. Imagine all of the wonderful prank opportunities you can pull.
Do you know someone who’s afraid of clowns? Trick question! You absolutely do. Heck, clowns freak folks out more than spiders.
So when a friend (or better yet, enemy of yours) is least expecting it, set up a delivery of Hurts Donuts to them. Oh, and make sure to be in the area, because you’re going to want to get this on video.
The Perfect Prank
This is the perfect gag to pull for a number of reasons. First of all, Hurts is happy to be sneaky about this.
So you get to watch as they leap out of their skin in pure terror.
But better yet, they can’t be that mad at you. After all, after that fright, they’re given a box of donuts. And they’re great donuts, because Hurts takes their craft seriously. Don’t let the clown makeup and love of horrifying strangers confuse you.
So how popular was this program? You’d think no one would be that cruel to spring a nightmarish clown on someone, right?
Oh, you sweet, naive soul. It was so popular that initially Hurts Donut was only going to do this for two days, but wound up extending it to a whole week.
And there are already plans to bring it back. How could they not? Look at the joy it brought this man. That’s the body language of someone who’s joyful… right?
We weren’t lying about how complex of a combination of feelings this provided. Donuts are heavenly, and clowns are the opposite.
Have you ever wondered why so many people are afraid of clowns? It seems silly, but it’s a common fear.
Clowns are meant to be friendly, silly creatures that elicit laughs from children, but somehow they wind up creating more trauma than mirth. What’s the deal? Let’s take a closer look at clowns, and why so many are afraid to get that close to them…
Trigger warning: from here on out, there are going to be a lot of pictures of creepy clowns.
So if that kind of thing upsets you, prepare yourself. But keep pushing forward, because there’s a lot you can learn.
For example, fear of clowns is actually a condition with a name. It’s called “Coulrophobia.” This literally means “a fear of someone who walks on stilts.” Doesn’t that make you feel a little better already? They’ve assigned an official name to the feelings you have.
Fear of clowns is a phobia. Phobias, like clowns, are nothing you should laugh at.
A phobia is a type of anxiety disorder that fixates an irrational fear on an object that’s not actually harmful. Phobias can cause panic attacks, sweating and nausea.
There are many types of phobias, and different triggers for them. Agoraphobia is the fear of wide open spaces, and can be triggered by being in a crowd, travelling or even just leaving your home.
While countless people are freaked out by clowns, coulrophobia has not yet been officially recognized as a phobia by the World Health Organization.
This is strange, because this isn’t a new fear, nor a new name. The term arose sometime around 1980.
This is especially impressive since the movie Poltergeist didn’t hit theaters until 1982. That possessed toy clown put the fear of clowns into a whole generation, and yet people were already scared enough of these jesters to have a term named after the fear.
While many people have a light fear of clowns, having full-blown coulrophobia is considered not that common in the general public.
“While being afraid of clowns is becoming increasingly common, having so-called coulrophobia is rare,” said Geisinger psychiatrist Robert Gerstman, DO, FACN.
“People with coulrophobia may experience nausea, sweating and difficulty breathing when they see a clown. They may go to huge lengths to avoid being anywhere near a clown. For anyone whose life is seriously affected by coulrophobia or any other type of phobia, it’s best to go see a mental health provider.”
So we’ve seen that there are different levels of fear of clowns, but what exactly makes them so scary to us?
One reason is because of the uncanny effect. Sigmund Freud popularized the “uncanny” as a reason for fear back in 1919.
He described “uncanny” as something that is both familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. For example, dolls. Many people are creeped out by them because they look human, but they are just different enough to create a feeling of unease.
Mad Makeup Skills (Literally)
One of the prominent features of clowns is their makeup. It purposely distorts their eyes, nose and mouth.
By exaggerating their features, it creates the uncanny. It’s not just their face. They also exaggerate their hair, clothes and shoes.
Every aspect of a clown creates the sense that they’re human, but not really. So you focus on these differences, and it puts your brain into conflict against itself. The fact that they smile and laugh while you do this, well… that just makes it worse.
Mixed Signals And Pattern Recognition
Another cause of why people are afraid of clowns is they send mixed signals and mess with our pattern recognition. It’s hard to interpret their actual emotions.
“Since clowns paint on their smiles and frowns, you can’t read their emotions or know what they’re thinking,” said Dr. Gerstman.
“If a clown has a painted-on smile but isn’t acting or sounding happy, your brain gets mixed signals. This interrupts the pattern that your brain is used to, making you uneasy.”
Another reason clowns are so freaky is how unpredictable they are. That’s why The Joker is such a fearsome villain to Batman.
You never know what clowns are going to do. They do tricks, squirt water from flowers and cram an impossible number of themselves into a tiny car.
These make them seem otherworldly and less human. They’re humanoid, but not really, and you never can tell what they’re thinking or what they’ll do next. Yeah… that’s pretty spooky.
So we’ve seen the reasons why clowns are inherently scary and naturally put us at unease.
But clowns aren’t just scary by nature, they’re also scary by nurture. Pop culture has conditioned us to be afraid of clowns.
How many examples have we been given to fear these creatures? Pennywise from It, The Joker from Batman, Poltergeist, that murderous maniac from American Horror Story. Heck, even The Insane Clown Posse sing about being violent and spooky. No wonder we distrust clowns.
Fear From Experience And Observation
“Fear is influenced partly by our experiences and partly by our observations,” said Dr. Gerstman
He continued with his theory, saying, “When people, especially small children, watch media that portrays something as harmful, you can develop a fear.
A good example of this is that after seeing Jaws, many people were hesitant to go back in the water—even though they’d never seen a shark attack in real life. They developed a fear of something they’d never experienced.”
Dr. Gerstman continued, “This is the body’s way of avoiding something it thinks could be harmful.
“And this is likely why more people are afraid of clowns today than in the past,” he concluded. Makes sense, doesn’t it?
Not to mention there are also real life examples of creepy clowns. There was that fad of dressing up and scaring people for the thrill of it a few years ago. Plus, you have real world serial killer John Wayne Gacy, who we learned was a part-time clown.
Scary And Sweet
So, there you have it. Clowns are still terrifying, but at least we understand why.
This will actually make sending one to deliver donuts all the more hilarious. After you’ve scared half the soul out of someone, you can sit down and discuss their phobia over delicious treats.
However, if a clown shows up on your doorstep late at night, it’s still best to not answer the door. The fear may be irrational, but it’s better safe than murdered by a humanoid laughing monster.