Billing a Three-Year-Old Who Dinged a Car and More Weird Things

By Sarcasm Society - September 11, 2018

Everyone of legal driving age has no doubt been there… you accidentally “bop” into another car. Nothing major, but an oopsie nonetheless. (And if you have never done this, then screw you and your flawless driving abilities! Wanna medal?) Maybe your “bop” was actually more of a “crash” and well, we’re sorry about that. Accidents happen though, and we’re all human. And when a lot of humans have cars, a lot of accidents end up happening.

The bill for this accident was interesting, to say the least…



Hopefully you haven’t been in a major car accident before because, let me tell you, those are really awful and traumatic. Not to mention super expensive. But we’re not here today to talk about bad car crashes. We’re here to talk about little bumps and bops. You know, tiny mistakes that could cost you a tiny fortune.

So you just hit a car. No one was around to witness. No one can prove it was you. What do you do?

Big Decision


You’re now at a moral crossroads. What do you do? Do you leave a note? Do you immediately call your parents and freak out? Do you look around to see if there were any witnesses? Do you walk away and hope you can get away with it?

This can be a pretty tough moment for many people. Some drivers know ahead of time exactly what they would do if they were in this position but others struggle to make a decision on the spot.

Sneak Away


Do you sneak away? Pretend it never happened? Do you ignore your conscience and hope that the owner of the car you hit never notices the scratch?

This is a pretty tough call to make for some people. After all, it was just a tiny little ding, right? You’ve got plenty of those on your own car and you know you’ll have to pay hundreds of dollars just so they can buff the scratch out or paint over it. That’s a pretty expensive little mistake.

So do you just pray no one spotted you? Because…



You could be busted by a tattletale like this person. Good job, narc! Now go back to your nerd-home. Just kidding. This person was just trying to be a vigilante in their own neighborhood. Fear not, folks! The Neighborhood Watch is alive and well!

They might have been on the receiving end of a ding-and-run before and wanted to make sure that didn’t happen to anyone else. Would you have done something like this?

The Truth

Credits: imgur

A parent in the UK was faced with this dilemma back in May 2017, when her 3-year-old dented the neighbor’s car. It was a bona fide accident, just a little kid doing what little kids do. He didn’t know any better and the mom felt bad but understood that it was just a tiny accident.

So she did the right thing and left a note. Seems reasonable and responsible, right? Just a mom trying to make the best of a bad situation.

Then the bill came…

The Bill

Credits: rightwingnews

…and it was AWESOME. Apparently the neighbor was pretty cool about it. Instead of getting upset or being difficult, he chalked it up to “these things happen…” and injected a fabulous sense of humor into his “bill”. He even went a step further and made sure, with this little document, that they knew he didn’t expect anything from him!

Good man! We need more neighbors like him! It’s nice when stories like this end on such a positive, wholesome note!

Expensive Tea

Credits: drinkpreneur

Although there are some, shall we say, questionable items on his bill. For example, who spends 28 pounds on tea? What kind of expensive tea are you drinking, dude? Seriously, just stick to Lipton and save some money!  And the price of biscuits surely is not that high.

Or else perhaps he just drank a massive amount of really cheap tea and then got really hungry for copious quantities of biscuits. I mean, he mentioned taking some time to ponder the situation.

Turn It Down

Credits: fortysixnews

Me personally? I would have turned down the offer and just payed for the repairs. I hate feeling like there is a debt pending and even if the neighbor was kind enough to let it go, I would have felt like I owed him something.

Also, asking me to “keep taking our parcels in when we are not here” is too much! I mean, in a way it’s super cute but dude, I’m not your own private mailman!

Good Neighbors

Credits: bayarborist

Seriously though, it’s nice to see some decency between two neighbors. Err… “neighbours”.  British people, stop with the pretentious spelling already! It seems like so often today neighbours either don’t even know each other or else they don’t get along.

Movies and TV shows always seem to depict crotchety neighbours stealing each other’s tools, making their lives miserable.


The Worst

Credits: lifebuzz

Not all fender bender interactions end so well. Take for example…THIS.

Seriously man? What a jerk. Or should I saw, a COWARD.  Not only is this person irresponsible and rude, but they went out of their way to manipulate perceptions and come off as the nice guy when clearly…they are not! That is a whole new level of creep.



Credits: seabreeze

Oh my goodness, not another one!! How often does this happen?? Un-freakin’-believable. NO ONE LIKES JACK. Jack probably cheats on his taxes. Jack probably regifts everything he gets. Jack probably kicks puppies then smiles at old ladies when they walk by. Do you really want to be like Jack?

No, don’t be like Jack. Jack is a jerk.

Also Jack, how ’bout we learn to spell the write way?!?

Red Parking

Credits: boredpanda

At least this person had the cajones to own it. Nothing in this note is apologetic or shows even a tiny bit of guilt or shame. Nope. Everything here screams: “Yeah, I meant to hit you for parking like a jerk yesterday!” Vengeance, they say, is a dish best served cold.

A Lannister always pays his debts. Hear him roar!

Free Soap

Credits: dailymail

This person is a little better. Sure, it’s all about the appearance of doing the right thing and it’s a bunch of FAKE NEWS (cue a Trump meme). But it’s a bit nicer, isn’t it? I mean, the victim is getting an adorable bar of soap. But unless that soap is worth $600 and can fix a car, these folks are still in the wrong.

Thanks but no thanks, please. Just leave a big fat wad of cash next time, ok? And maybe the number of a great mechanic who will do the job for dirt cheap.



Credits: healthychicks

Just remember: Every time you don’t own up to a fender bender, you make this puppy sad. It had faith in you! And you ruined it. You don’t want to make puppies sad, do you? You’re not a heartless beast.

So be a decent human being and do the right thing. Do unto others as you’d have them do to you, amiright?  Leave a REAL note with your REAL contact info. Make the world a happy-puppy kind of place.


Credits: slatervecchio

It’s better to be like Ben here. Ben did the right thing. Ben’s note is equal parts fair and polite. He even had legible penmanship. Ben is a good person, and he is probably very handsome. Ben makes puppies happy, and he helps old ladies cross the road.

Seriously though, human decency is the key to a society of people who make the world a better place. Make America great again and don’t be a jerk.