20 Tweets About Sharing Your Netflix Account That Are Painfully True
Remember back in the old days how difficult it was to watch the movie or TV show you were looking for? Of course, by “the old days” we mean that prehistoric era that scholars refer to as “the ’90s.” If you wanted to watch a movie at home, you had to get into some kind of transportation vehicle and schlep all the way to your nearest Blockbuster (Google it, young ones) and pray that they actually had it in stock so you didn’t have to settle on some crusty five year old romantic comedy no one wanted.
And if you missed an episode of your favorite TV show? Too bad! You had to wait months for the rerun. But now? We can just get a Netflix subscription, and your favorite movies and shows are just a few clicks away. You don’t even need to put pants on! Yet, as easy as it is to obtain Netflix through conventional, upstanding means, millions choose to get it another way…
Sharing Is Caring
Yup, as much convenience as Netflix gives and the near literally endless hours of content, shelling out a few bucks a month is still just too much effort for many.
So they wind up sharing accounts with friends, family members and even occasionally exes, which never ends well.
It’s truly amazing how far we’ve come in such a short span of time. A few years ago we drove to get entertainment, now we just mooch it off our loved ones for free.
They say that you can’t choose your family, but in this day and age, that isn’t true.
Whoever you share a Netflix account with, they’re your family. Because them being able to see what you watch is the greatest indicator of who you truly are as a person.
You could spend years married to someone, but until you see the shows and movies they watch when they think no one is looking, you truly don’t have a clue who they really are.
Bringing Families Together
Is it immoral for you to be essentially stealing by not paying Netflix and using a family member’s account?
Sure, maybe. But you know what? Netflix might be able to write off all the money they’re not collecting as a charitable donation.
In this busy time we all live, it’s easier than ever to let life get in the way and forget to call your folks. But now? You have to stay in contact with them, to at least make sure the Netflix is operational. Forced family time is still family time, so thanks, Netflix!
That said, while it’s wonderful to have an excuse to stay in contact with your family, it’s not all good news.
When you see what your mother has been watching in her free time, well… it can shatter every illusion you’ve ever had about her.
She’s your mother. She’s supposed to be this sweet, innocent woman who doesn’t know anything about all the lewd and crude content in the world. Then you learn that’s her jam, and you never see her the same way again.
Did you need or want an example of the type of dirty stuff your mom could be watching?
Of course you don’t, but we’re going to show you anyway. Why? Because if we had to see it, then everyone else has to share in our misery.
Thank goodness Netflix allows you to create separate profile to avoid this type of terrifying revelation. Now if only the other people on your account would actually learn how to use the thing.
If you’re tired of learning horrifying fun facts about your family or just don’t want them messing up your carefully curated queue, then this is the solution for you.
It’s really quite genius. Just come up with something you know they won’t ever click.
No one is patient enough to wait for updates, so this is a nice trick. However, if you want to be really safe, you can name it something like, “Dad’s fetish folder.” Yup… that will stay closed indefinitely.
So far we’ve been referring to children mooching off of their parents’ Netflix accounts, aka the way nature intended.
But some kids are progressive and open-minded, so they have no trouble giving back to those that raised them and spoiling them for a change.
However, while this may seem wholesome, we must insist you stop. It’s against the natural order, and more importantly, it makes all the rest of us kids stealing our parents’ account info feel bad about ourselves.
Can't Stop, Won't Stop
“Hey, honey, it’s Mom. I know that you have my number on your caller I.D. and know the sound of my voice, so I don’t know why I opened with telling you it was me.
Anyway, I’m just stalling to bide time until I muster the courage to… ask you to stop using our Netflix account?… Please?”
“Hey, Mom. I understand you might be confused why I’m still doing it after winning the lottery twice in a row. But truth is, you never can be too careful, so thanks for understanding.
Here’s another reason why sharing your account info is actually a good thing that can be used to benefit the world.
When your favorite show gets cancelled, you can ask Netflix to pick it up and continue it from there.
Why would they? Because you have leverage in the form of offering them more income. That’s a heck of a bargaining chip. If all the moochers suddenly paid for their own accounts, Netflix would have enough cash to reboot Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood with an actual clone of Mr. Rogers.
Trying New Things
Okay, remember how we said that kids shouldn’t be giving parents their Netflix passwords earlier?
Yeah… it still makes us insecure about ourselves, but if it gives us sweet content like this, it’ll be totally worth it and we’ll get over it.
Can we just have an entire series based on parents’ reactions to watching different genres. Imagine your mother watching anime. Or your dad getting really deep into David Lynch absurdist films. That’s worth paying for an account.
No More Secrets
If you grew up in an era before social media and shared Netflix accounts with your parents, you should be grateful.
You actually were able to keep some secrets of your own and your parents didn’t have the means to find out every last disgusting things about you.
But not anymore. Way to be a snitch, Netflix. And you know the worst part? When you see that you and your mom are both watching the same dirty movie. *Shudders forever.*
While it can be annoying when your parents don’t understand new technology no matter how many times you explain it to them, this may actually be a blessing in disguise.
If something controversial to their eyes pops up under your “Recently Viewed” list, you can likely convince them that it wasn’t you.
After all, it wasn’t even available in your account. You have a different library, after all! They won’t know any better, as they won’t understand it. Ignorance is truly bliss.
Here’s a continuation of the conversation where she tries convincing her mother that everyone has access to the same content on Netflix.
Man, it makes you appreciate the site even more, doesn’t it? They roll out all the stuff at once.
Imagine if they made you buy a bundle to get all their content. A mom Netflix, a dad Netflix and kids Netflix, and you could only watch the one you identify as, lest you pay a fee to get to see them all.
Depending On Us
Time was, when your family was depending on you, it meant you had to hunt or spend brutally long hours every day farming to make sure they’re all fed.
Today, it means not cancelling a Netflix account so they don’t get bored.
Whenever we feel the state of the world is worse than it’s ever been, please remember this, because this is the epitome of a first world problem. That said, it’s still a problem, so please don’t cancel.
Some parents complain about their kids mooching off of their Netflix, while others just passively let it happen and hold their animosity deep inside.
And there are those that are happy to spoil their kids long after they’ve grown up and even name the password after them.
This is especially heartbreaking when you’re not an only child. Imagine what the other siblings must think. There’s no denying who the favorite is after this. At least they’re still on the account.
Oh look, it’s Sammy whose mom didn’t understand how everyone doesn’t have a completely different Netflix library.
You know what? Fair is fair. If someone has been sharing your Netflix account, the least they can do is share their other streaming services with you.
And yes, while getting the info for someone’s Netflix, HBO Go, Showtime Now, Hulu and Amazon Prime accounts seems like a lot, you gave them your WWE Network login info, so that’s a fair enough trade, right?
“Was it when I called Grandma senile and insulted her mashed potatoes at Thanksgiving last year?
Nah, everyone knows she’s losing it, and mom never liked her dry mashed potatoes anyway. Was it because I dumped Brandy before the wedding?
No, it couldn’t be that. Mom always hated Brandy. Wait… Mom seems to be a vicious, spiteful person. Maybe she’s just doing this for fun. Dang it… I’d be mad if I wasn’t so impressed by how petty it was.”
“Look Mom and Dad, I just don’t know if I have it in my budget to pay the extra $1.99 a month they’re asking.”
“Please don’t go! We still need to know how the next seasons of Glow and Orange Is The New Black are going to turn out.”
“Well, how about we compromise. What if I pay what I’ve been paying, and you give me a two dollar a month sharing charge?”
“Or… you just pay the extra cash as a ‘Thanks for raising me’ charge. That sounds fair.”
Centuries ago, you used to have to prove you were an adult to your family in a number of brutal ways.
For women, it may have meant being married off to someone you didn’t know like you were a piece of property.
For men, it may have meant going on a several day hunting expedition or even going into battle. These days? You have to pay about 15 bucks a month. We know… why are things so much harder on us?
Eventually, we do have to grow up at some point. For some of us, that means realizing we’re financially secure enough to get our own Netflix account and taking the responsible plunge of setting it up.
For others, it’s being thrown out of the nest and hoping baby bird learns how to fly before s**t splats onto the ground.
Whenever it happens to you, take solace in knowing that Netflix is still relatively cheap. Also, that you can likely just start mooching off a friend, instead.