20 Moments Of Pure, Uncut, Delicious Snark
You may say and think that you have a great sense of humor, but what kind of humor do you usually lean towards? There are so many different kinds of humor to choose from. Some can’t get enough of stupid potty humor. Poops are funny! That is that! A fart joke may make you chuckle every time. Dick jokes are great, aren’t they? Some people are more into a witty joke or an intellectual quip. Everyone loves a good dad joke. Don’t believe us? Ask your dad!
And maybe you just can’t get enough of some down and dirty, incredibly dry, good, old fashioned snark! Being snarky is a lifestyle. It’s sarcasm at its best. It’s sharp, it’s quick and it hits every time. Here are 20 glorious moments of pure, uncut, delicious snark that will leave you wanted more. Don’t believe us? Stop being so snarky and go ahead and see for yourself.
Gates Wide Open!
Look, whoever is leaving the gate wide open, this guy just wants to know you a little better.
What’s you motivation on leaving the gate open? Do you need things to feel more open and free? Does leaving the gate open make you feel lighter?
Do you feel locked in, like you are an animal in a cage with the gate closed? Just explain yourself so we can all move on, can we? No one is in trouble we just need to know what is happening.
The Russian Section
Now this is some serious snark. The sign reads, “Russian Cuisine” and you can see from this picture there is nothing on those shelves but vodka, vodka and more vodka.
To be fair, Russians do love to have vodka for breakfast, lunch and dinner so this isn’t too far off.
Just maybe throw a few jars of caviar in there just to even things out a little? It’s just a thought. Or just stick with the vodka. Either way, they aren’t going to turn it down.
Ouch! This one stings a little. But what do you expect with a name like @IHaveABirthmark on Twitter?
If you are leading with your birthmark, you know things are weird. We are happy you are proud of the mark, but does it have to be your name on Twitter?
But maybe those Valentine’s Day cards are from his momma. She will love him no matter what he looks like, birthmark or not. She will also love him no matter what his Twitter handle is.
What Sign Are You?
“See, I killed that dude because I am a Gemini and we are crazy! Therefore, it’s all good. I’m wired to be an insane person.”
If only life really worked that way. if only we could use our zodiac signs as a get out of jail free card.
“So sorry, I didn’t call you back. I’m a Leo and we like to be the center of attention so I was just waiting for you to call me again because you can’t live without me.”
Free Of Charge
“OH MY GOD!!! YOU HAVE DEAD BATTERIES AND YOU ARE GIVING THEM AWAY FOR FREE!?!?!? WOOO HOOOO!!!!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! This is so freaking amazing. Can we have them all?!?!?! But also, like, what do we do with them once we get them for free from you?”
Isn’t that funny when people go insane for free things but it’s usually stuff we don’t need at all and we are never ever going to actually use?
Up was one of those movies that really sticks with you. One that makes you cry from beginning to end and really tugs at your heartstrings.
And the old man in Up is pretty much as snarky as they come. BUT HE WAS MISUNDERSTOOD!
Go ahead and try to watch that movie without shedding a tear. We promise you that you aren’t going to be able to. There is too much heart so all you snarkers out there, beware.
When this car plowed through an Arby’s, the fast food chain decided to make light of a very serious situation.
“Hey man. There isn’t enough parking. Mind if I just park inside the restaurant?”
Go for it, man! There really wasn’t a better way for him to actually make that happen. So, really he actually has the best parking spot in the whole place. Maybe we should use this idea next time we can’t find a spot to park in.
DON'T GIVE UP
Don’t give up is a beautiful message and a great mantra to get you through the day.
Life can be tough sometimes and it’s great to have a little reminder that tells you to keep pushing, that you can do it if you just keep going. YOU GOT THIS!
Or you can give up mid-sentence because your hand hurts from coloring and you are bored and you really didn’t want to do this anyway. You could also do that too!
Make You Feel Old
Now here is one that is sure to make you feel really old. Especially if you are still using a checkbook.
Also, if you are still using checks to pay for stuff, what are you doing!? There are so many other ways to pay for things that won’t make you look like a dinosaur.
Venmo, Paypal and the Cash App to name a few. Go ahead and trade in your checkbook and go digital, baby! You’ll thank us later.
Caught On Tape
Hey, they warned you. If you pee here, you will be on tape and then you will definitely go on Youtube. No doubt about it.
And depending on how the pee goes and what also happens during the pee, you may also be lucky enough to go viral.
Hey, everyone wants to be a Youtube sensation these days. This can be your lucky day! Go ahead and pee and see if you make the cut. Just make sure you smile for the camera.
Your Rap Name
Ain’t this the truth. We should wear our student debt like a badge of honor. We shouldn’t be ashamed of the bad financial choices we made when we were younger.
We earned this debt. It goes wherever we go. It’s a part of us and like that last “5 pounds” you’ve been saying you are going to lose soon, it isn’t going anywhere and fast!
So let’s wear it loud and proud. Put your hands up if you are still paying off your students loans and you are over 25! Woop woop!
First of all, how that sign is able to even stand in quicksand is pretty impressive.
Then the person who is right near the quicksand taking a picture of the sign in the quicksand is savage for getting that close.
Now let’s just see what happens if they take one step further. And then one more. And just one more step close and bye! Was it worth getting the photo for the gram? We don’t think so!
You know what is ruder than this sign here? Smoking where people are eating their food. Now THAT is what we call snark!
Remember when people used to be able to smoke inside of restaurants? It’s hard to even imagine that a smoking section was once a thing!
You may as well ash into your omelette! Hey can you pass the salt and pepper for my corned beef and ASH! Ha! You want jokes? We got jokes all day long.
Just Google It
When you have a little itch… just Google it! When you have a little lump or a bump, go ahead and look it up.
Or don’t! No, seriously. Don’t. Why? Because your ingrown hair will instantly turn into a terminal illness and fast.
You can easily turn a pimple into cancer in the blink of an eye if you only rely on doctor Google. When in doubt go to a doctor and don’t listen to Doctor Google.
Hot Pikachu Sex
Why anyone would name themselves Hot Pikachu Sex is beyond us. Now we are forever scarred thinking about Pikachu’s getting down and dirty.
And not only are we thinking about Pikachu sex, but we are being forced to think about HOT Pikachu sex! Thanks but not thanks.
And you thought Furries were unique. This adds a whole new level of weird to that culture. We will never look at Pikachu the same way again. That’s for sure.
A Day At The Zoo
We are sure that the construction workers working on this site love this little snarky joke, right?
Come one, come all! Come stare at these construction workers while they do their jobs in the hot sun to the scent of animal feces.
These poor guys probably just want to construct in peace and now they will have little kids of all ages asking their parents what kind of animals they are. What we have here is a cruel, cruel joke.
Nothing For Dessert
When the woman sitting at the table said that they will have nothing for dessert, the server took her answer and ran with it.
It must have been a real slow day in the restaurant if not only the wait staff entertained this idea but the kitchen as well.
The pastry chef who made this happen sure has a snarky sense of humor, don’t they? How many calories do you think is in this dessert? Asking for a friend.
Grandpa Doesn't Give AF
Well, well, well Grandpa. Thank you so much for putting some time and effort into this card. It really means a lot, doesn’t it?
He couldn’t just write one little ditty? Just a sensible, “You’re great kid” or “You really are amazing.”
He basically pulled a “Yeah, what she said.” Ouch. What a dick move, Grandpa. He may be old, but he has still got that dry wit that unfortunately for all his grandkids will never go away.
Hunter The Gatherer
Wow, what an oxymoron. Here we have a vegan named Hunter. Now that in itself seems like a cruel joke.
Do you think that when his parents named him, they planned to raise him vegan so they can came up with the snarkiest, longest lasting joke of all time. Naming him Hunter.
If this was all on purpose, they are our heroes. If this was all a coincidence, then we can give credit to the universe for making this happen!
So Many Hogs
This may be a stupid question, but we are going to ask it anyway.
Why is there a map that shows us how many wild hogs are in a particular area?
Is there some sort of a hog issue that we don’t know about that is effecting our country? If we are being invaded by hogs we need to know about it. We need to prepare a bug out bag and make sure we supplies and know how to conquer the hogs! Someone fill us in please!