Lists

15 Things That Just Didn’t Need To Happen

By Sarcasm Society - February 07, 2019

Not all disasters can be avoided. You can’t avoid an earthquake, for instance. You can’t avoid getting stuck in a blizzard. You can’t avoid getting rear ended by some idiot who wasn’t paying attention to the road. Unless you can see the future, there are some things that you will never be able to avoid.

But the things on this list…yeah, they definitely could have been avoided. They should have been avoided. If these people had been just a little bit smarter in the moment, these disasters would never have happened…which would have been good for them, but sad for us, because then we wouldn’t be able to laugh at all of these ridiculous photos.

These Things Should Have Been Avoided

Credits: http://img.diply.com/article-images/a/9e3358e8-ef6f-4020-895d-87db5ea0938b.jpg?impolicy=desktop

Just look at this cut-your-own-bangs attempt gone wrong. (Someone tell me: has any cut-your-own-bangs attempt ever gone right in history?) Performing DIY bangs is like performing a DIY oil change. Sure, it seems like something you can figure out on your own.

But if you don’t know what your doing, it’s just going to be a huge, gross mess. Keep reading to see more examples of avoidable disasters that will make you cringe and laugh at the same time.

Friends Are...Who?

Credits: http://static.awkwardfamilyphotos.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/rIQ7I4E-768x1024.jpg

Yes, the “e” and the “r” need to be WAY closer together. Like, you know that friend you had growing up you wanted to spend all your time with and never be apart for even an instant? Yeah… that close.

But even having said that, are friends and therapists really that similar? For one thing, friends don’t charge money. And for another thing, a therapist is the person you talk to about how annoying all your friends are.

Perfect Planning

Credits: http://caosviral.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/12.png

If you go to this college, you can become an expert architect and planner in no time at . First, go to class every day and absorb everything they teach you. And then, do the exact opposite. College tuition is too darn expensive for this crap.

If I’m paying tens of thousands of dollars each year for my education, I want the lettering on the buildings to be correct. Is that too much to ask for?

Take A Seat

Credits: http://cdn.diply.com/img/6c6923e4-35c7-4e50-924c-0702d9b2f152.jpg

Need to rest while waiting for the bus? Then try sitting on this bench. Of course, it won’t actually make you feel rested in the slightest, but it will make the bus seem pretty comfy by comparison.

Maybe that’s how we make life seem better. Not by improving everything that needs improving, but by making things that are already working substantially worse. Everything will seem better by comparison instantly. Will life be better? No. But when it doesn’t suck entirely, it’ll seem like Heaven.

No Pets

Credits: http://www.lolwot.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/10-hilarious-and-ironic-signs-2.jpg

They also had a sign that said “Also, No Drugs Allowed.” And then another one that said “Just Kidding, It’s Fine As Long As We Don’t Know About It. We’re Totally Cool. We’re Not Your Parents.”

It’s a good thing our pets can’t read. Imagine the existential crisis they’d face not knowing whether or not they were wanted here? Dogs can barely contain themselves when you ask “Who’s a good boy?” A mystery like this would melt their tiny, adorable brains.

Elephant Slide

Credits: http://www.explosion.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/1117.jpg

What kind of kid hasn’t dreamed of the golden, once in a lifetime opportunity of sliding out of an elephant’s anus? The answer is, of course, “no kind.” No kid has ever dreamed of that, because kids aren’t stupid.

Whoever designed this must have not spent a lot of time around children. They may have never even been a child themselves if they think this is what they would enjoy. Unless it’s what they would have enjoyed, in which case, we feel bad for the terrible childhoods.

Veggie Burger

Credits: https://img.fireden.net/vg/image/1475/01/1475018838954.jpg

“Also try our diet cheesecake! It’s just like regular cheesecake, except it also comes with ice cream and a bucket of chicken…yet it’s diet somehow! Yum! All you have to do is believe in it.

After that, have some of our non-alcoholic Long Island Iced Teas, made from vodka, bourbon and whiskey. Is that even what goes in a Long Island Iced Tea? Who knows?! Who cares?! It has alcohol but is non-alcoholic. Come on down to Paradox Diner today!”

Select Country

Credits: http://keepitonfleek.com/_images/_gallery/a/a/4/aa40d567c94a14b2e9c126c1b043457d.jpg

If you’re looking to travel, consider visiting the country of Chipotle. But be careful. There’s a good chance that you’ll spend half your vacation inside the bathroom. But the customer service agents really let you customize your experience.

Then, after your vacation in Chipotle is finished, consider taking a cruise to Baja Fresh, where the ocean nacho cheese glistens in the sunlight and the chip beaches cut into your feet, but who cares, this place truly is a paradise.

Rain Drain

Credits: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/d9/86/02/d9860279af716be35989a9630fe4320e.jpg

It’s raining pretty hard here, but don’t worry. The water drain is staying nice and dry. In fact, you could stand on the drain for cover, while you try to figure out why the town always gets so flooded.

In situations like these it’s best to look on the bright side. Sure, the street is flooded and the item whose one job it is to prevent flooding is failing miserably. But at least it’s letting you know where you can stand to keep your socks dry.

On The Tracks

Credits: https://www.tuxboard.com/photos/2015/04/euuuuh-720x540.jpg

Do you have to lay a hose across some train tracks? Just do it like this. That way, all the train has to do is get to the hose, lift itself out of the tracks somehow and then roll across without going in a random direction and killing everyone.

It’s that simple! Sure, the train might catch a little air and derail, but at least your hose made it to where you wanted it. And that’s really all that matters, right?

Not-so-free

Credits: https://a.disquscdn.com/get?url=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn.thechivemobile.com.edgesuite.net%2Fv5%2Fchive%2F20077767%2F20077767_16_768_1024.jpg&key=ymOF0pU113m-47m55MSPDg

And do you want to check out a book? Because that’s free too! All you have to do is hand over fifty bucks along with another fifty bucks, and you can borrow all the free books you want!

This library is actually attached to Paradox Diner. They were a natural fit for each other. It’s a great library. They shush you for not yelling loud enough. If you’re a fan of surrealism, then this is the place for you.

Toilet Seat

Credits: https://cdn-st1.ofpof.com/content/hs40rjbrqg/gallery/ilginc-bir-calisma-olmus_780x829-1pxc90wely.jpg

You can try sitting on the toilet like this if you want to. However, we wouldn’t recommend it. Unless, of course, you want to spend several hours afterwards cleaning up the back of that white tiled wall.

Man, sometimes people just had one job, and even then they blew it. Imagine they finished installing this, decided they needed to go to the bathroom and then realized their error. Instead of righting the wrong, they just said, “Eh, close enough.”

Parking Space

Credits: http://img.over-blog-kiwi.com/1/58/79/85/20150730/ob_a7851b_pictures-199.jpg

Trees think they’re so special just because they make the world look nice and take in carbon dioxide and give off oxygen. And sure, that is pretty useful. But that doesn’t mean you can just go and park anywhere your heart desires.

Stupid trees. It’s not even like this was a quick decision, as they needed to run in, grab something real quick and then be on their way. It took decades for them to grow like this, and no one stopped it.

Keep Shut

Credits: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/content/dam/Travel/galleries/travel/picturegalleries/signlanguage/Sign-Language-week-255/sign13_2555747a-xxlarge.jpg

How does this self-closing gate work? Well, first you open the gate. Then the gate does the rest of the work… by berating you with this well-worded but confusing sign until you close the thing yourself.

Where is this gate located? Why, you guessed it. Right outside Paradox Diner and Library! You think life is too easy? You want needless challenges and mysteries without solutions? Then get your behind to wherever the heck this is. We’d give you a map, but that’s also a logical mess!

Have A Slice

Credits: http://image.morecorn.com/image/upload/w_880,c_fill,g_face:center,fl_lossy,q_80/v1446162248/wzo8wvoo3ng4wt3lcgi6.jpg

This looks sloppy, but is it wrong? Maybe we should give this employee the benefit of the doubt. Maybe the customer ordered a cheeseburger, but asked for the cheese on the side. After all, there’s a first time for everything.

Sometimes you have to be very specific when ordering at a fast food restaurant. The workers are making minimum wage, so they don’t have a huge incentive to care about getting your order right. Can’t blame them, really.