15 Strange Things Americans Do That Weird out Everyone Else
There are a bunch of things that Americans do every day considered to be absolutely normal but, let’s face it, some of those things are completely strange to other cultures. Here are just a few of those that make other nations go “wut?”:
Those are just some of the things ‘Murica does that are weird to other nations. And we think that we’re the perfect ones.
We Call These Cookies
For other countries these are not cookies. These are biscuits. Americans love their cookies—there’s even a cereal made for small children with cookies in it (ok, that’s super weird too). For us, if it’s sweet, has chocolate in it, and tastes amazing with a glass of milk, it’s a cookie. We also have biscuits, but they’re not like British biscuits (as you’ll know if you ever ordered cheese biscuits to go with your clam chowder).
But these things you see are biscuits in Europe. Our biscuits are so different than these biscuits. Both biscuits and cookies are delicious, but they are not the same. It’s all very confusing.
Why don’t our plugs have an on and off switch when other places around the world do? Why have we been living for so long like this? Here we are with our simpleton two-plus outlets, going about wasting electricity. We’ve clearly been too busy worrying about little tykes putting their fingers into those holes and getting electrocuted.
We even built a multi-million dollar industry around plastic covers for that reason. Meanwhile, the rest of the world looks on and rolls their eyes. The solution is simple. How do we even manage to turn anything on or off?
Our Cup Runneth Over
Why do we have so much water in our toilet bowls? Other countries just have a little bit of water in their bowl to flush it down. Could you imagine all the water we could save if we did the same? Are we planning to go for a swim in there? No? Then WHY?
Americans like excess, and here’s a great example. Why use a cup of water when you could use a gallon? After all, as everyone knows, water grows on trees. Also, it’s nice to live dangerously; more water means a better chance of the toilet overflowing spectacularly at an inopportune moment. Adventure time!
Using a Tea Kettle
Sure, some people in the United States have a tea kettle but it isn’t the most popular item to have in our kitchens. Most of the time, the front-and-centre appliance is a coffee machine (cue music “The best part of waking uuupppppp”).
Americans are obsessed with getting their caffeine fix. However, in other places around the world, tea is just as popular as coffee, if not more. And because tea is a necessity, a tea kettle is too. So in most places you go, you’ll see a cute tea kettle nestled on the oven range, maybe even tucked into a tea cozy.
Having a Laundry Room
Overseas, the washer and dryer are often found in the kitchen. In the United States, however, it would be extremely strange to wash your clothes in the kitchen. It just wouldn’t happen. People in Europe will never understand why our washer and dryer need to have their own room. I mean, think about it.
Busy homeowners know that multitasking is the key to staying on top of housework. So why WOULDN’T you put those two cleaning jobs together. Why not wash clothes and dishes in the same space? Maybe it’s the idea of having a hamper full of dirty underwear right next to the sink that makes Americans bashful?
Our breadsticks are not sticks of bread. Elsewhere in the world, a breadstick is exactly what it sound like: a small stick-like, dry piece of bread, more akin to a cracker. Best served as a side with your soup. Cute. But nope, not in good ol’ Amurica. Breadsticks here are, well… bread. They are huge, soft baguettes.
It’s too much bread, they are way too filling, the carb count would make any doctor cringe but damn, they are delish. So go ahead and nibble on your tiny sticks of cracker, people. We’ll be over here burying our faces in soft, warm bread baguettes of ecstasy and packing on the pounds.
We Don't Include Our Tax
There is something going on in many parts of the world that is truly unbelievable. Are you ready for it? In many parts of the world, when you go shopping and the tag on your item says $21.50, you get to the cash register and pay… $21.50. Mind-blowing, amiright?
Not so for America. Nope, that $21.50 on the tag may translate to $21.50… or $24.23… or $25.86. It’s like rolling dice; you never really know what will come up. Why is that? Because, my friends, of TAXES. Wouldn’t you rather see the price and know that the tax is included in it? And some states don’t have any sales tax while others do. It’s way too confusing. Why do we do this to ourselves?
The Gaps in Our Bathroom Stalls
You know it’s happened to you before. You wait in line for a bathroom stall and finally get your turn. You cram your body through the tiny door, slide the lock into place, sit down… and find yourself staring at the purse of the lady who was waiting behind you through the sliver of space between the door and the sides of the stall. The lady is politely averting her eyes so as not to look directly at you as you do your thing. AWKWARDDDDD.
This seems like such an easy fix, so why haven’t we done something about this? The anxiety that comes with going to the bathroom in public is exacerbated by the gaps in the doors. FIX THE GAPS! FIX THE GAPS! FIX THE GAPS!
Covering up at the Beach
In Europe, babies are naked on the beach and that’s normal. Women have their boobs out, rocking the monokini, and it’s no big deal. Men of all ages and sizes are in speedos and are living their best lives, happy as clams and comfortable in their own skin. In the US we are covered up and way too overdressed for the beach.
The sheer amount of fabric from tankinis with skirts to board shorts that hang below the knee to the muumuus ladies wear as cover-ups is crazy. Not to mention all the sun shirts. We need to lighten up and let it all hang out. Well, not all. There’s a happy middle, folks, and it’s not the one hanging heavy over your speedo, sir.
The Way We Order the Date
It’s dumb, it doesn’t really matter most of the time, but it’s super annoying to everyone else in the world. We write, “7/30/2017.” The majority of the world would write, “30/7/2017.” While it makes sense to me and I think that we are right in this case, can’t we all get on the same page?
While the dates above are not hard to figure out, it gets sticky when we see dates like 7/9/2017. July 9th or September 7th? Can’t we all just GET ALONG? We seriously need to make a decision here and stick with it. How can we ever expect world peace if we can’t agree on date sequence?
Our TV Show Times
We are so used to it that we don’t even notice anymore. We see a commercial go by and “6 ET” is splashed across the screen. Or the news anchor comes on and announces that the game will begin at 8/7c. Wut?? It’s confusing for people around the world to understand what 8/7c means. Hell, it’s confusing living in California and understanding it. Are we watching the Grammys at 5 or 8 Pacific Time? Someone please explain.
Since a lot of countries around the world are relatively small, they don’t have to think about things like time zones for their programming. Lucky ducks! Alright now, let me get out my trusty calculator and timezone map and figure this out…
Scones or Biscuits
Are those biscuits? I mean, the menu says “biscuits and gravy”. But then, you know it’s served for breakfast. In other places around the world, those are scones. Scones are served with tea. Scones are a pastry. And why is there all that stuff on it?
Who covers their scones in salty, fatty sauce? And cookies are biscuits, biscuits are scones but scones aren’t cookies? It’s all too much to think about. I’m starting to feel like the crazy guy with the wall full of interconnected papers in A Beautiful Mind. We need some sort of a chart here, stat.
The Metric System
Americans are stubborn. We like to set the tone, do our own thing, and we don’t care if everyone else is doing something different. Exhibit A: the metric system. Americans go about their days, happily measuring out things in inches, miles and ounces, oblivious to the way the world outside does things.
Why does everyone else in the world use the metric system? Probably because it’s so neat, tidy, logical and simple. Why can’t we just learn it and use it too? I’m sick of using Google to convert pounds to kilograms. Aren’t you? Especially since the conversion from miles to kilometers isn’t the same as grams to ounces… it’s enough to make anyone go insane.
In France, if you sit down for a coffee at a cafe and your cappuccino costs you $2, you leave $2 on the table and go off on your merry way… and that’s OKAY. You’re not cheap. You’re not rude. You just aren’t expected to add a certain percentage as a gratuity. Isn’t that refreshing? In America, we tip our tour guides.
We tip our concierge, our servers, our party planners, our movers, our pizza delivery guy, our valet, everyONE. If we don’t tip, we suck. Not to mention the anxiety of trying to calculate 15%, 20%, etc. We need to just pay these people more so our tip is just an added bonus and not a necessity.
It’s Sunday afternoon. Millions of Americans are dressed in brightly-coloured jerseys, crowded into sports bars or set up in their homes in front of their TVs as if these were shrines. NFL, college football, it’s all fair game. Who cares about college football? Nobody but us.
Actually who cares about football? We are the only ones who care and it’s not really football. That name was already being used elsewhere and we took it anyway and then called football, soccer. American assimilation and our need to do things our way strikes again!
We really are the worst.