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15 Reasons Why Christmas in the ’90s Was Everything

By Sarcasm Society - November 03, 2018

Christmas in the ’90s was a magical time. It was a simpler time. It was prior to cell phones (that weren’t as large as a brick) and pre-internet (that wasn’t accessed through AOL). And there are a lot of things we’re nostalgic for.

Take a look at this list for a blast from the past to the ’90s – Christmas Edition. Boy Band outfits maybe? Wet Seal, anyone?

Creepy Christmas Troll Dolls

Credits: https://www.popsugar.com/love/photo-gallery/26073132/image/39262975/Santa-Troll-Dolls

A regular Troll Doll was just a wrinkly old naked man with a jewel stuck in his tummy and a crazy hairdo. But a Christmas Troll Doll was a reminder of a weird Scandinavian Christmas tradition where kids were hit with sticks.

The collection of these creepy old man dolls in our homes was pretty impressive. And now? They’re pretty much worth negative money. However, it still gives us a little fuzzy warm feeling looking at them – so keep it coming!

'Full House' Had the Best Christmas Episodes

Credits: https://www.bustle.com/articles/128561-full-house-holiday-episodes-always-uncovered-the-true-meaning-of-christmas

T.G.I.F.’s whole programming block was amazing, but nothing was better than Full House. We loved spending Christmas with the Tanners more than we loved spending it with our own families. Let’s face it, your mom’s catchphrases were never as great as Michelle’s.

Also, can we talk about Joey’s Christmas onesie? These are my onesie goals here. He seriously rocked that look. This, along with The Simpsons, Friends and Charlie Brown Christmas specials, were my jam.

Nothing Beat Shopping at the Mall

Credits: https://www.thecut.com/2014/12/wet-seal-is-withering-because-you-dont-love-it.html

You’d have your parents drop you off at the mall to buy them Christmas presents with money they gave you (the logic here is missing). You’d find your dad a CD at FYE and get some clothes for your sister at Wet Seal.

And you’d have to make sure you had money left over so you could use the pay phone to page your mom’s beeper so she could come get you when you were done. How did we ever live this way!!??

Catalogue Shopping

Credits: https://www.popsugar.com/love/photo-gallery/26073132/image/26073181/JCPenney-Holiday-Catalog

If you didn’t want to deal with the crowds of the mall, you could do your holiday shopping from the comforts of your own home. Of course, you did it by browsing through a catalogue and not going on Amazon. The internet was a thing in the ’90s, but you didn’t use it to shop. You used it to mess with people on AOL chat rooms.

Catalogue shopping was such fun though, flipping through Sears or JC Penny catalogues and circling everything you wanted – the good old days.

Fierce Christmas Fashion

Credits: https://www.popsugar.com/love/photo-gallery/26073132/image/26073198/Tiny-Toons-Christmas-Sweatshirt

There was no such thing as an “Ugly Christmas Sweater” party in the ’90s. Because all of the Christmas sweaters were ugly. That would just be a “Normal Christmas Sweater” party. And where’s the fun in that? The best was when the whole family got matching Christmas sweaters and then went to the mall for one of those horrific Christmas photoshoots.

At least this one has awesome ’90s cartoons on it. Not gonna lie, I would pay good money for this sweater today.

McDonald's Happy Meal Presents

Credits: http://www.ebay.com/itm/1993-Vintage-Polly-Pocket-CHRISTMAS-WREATH-TOTALLY-TOY-HOLIDAY-Compact-/161175977577?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item2586d63e69

When your parents asked you what you wanted for Christmas, you’d always tell them you didn’t want anything from Santa. You wanted that sweet, sweet seasonal toy that came in your McDonald’s Happy Meal. Which was probably great for your parents because Chicken McNuggets are much cheaper than a Tickle Me Elmo.

Speaking of Tickle Me Elmo, I found an old one in my attic a few years back. Ever try tickling a 25 year old Elmo? Sounds like an old musical birthday card (aka – the Devil).

'Home Alone' on Repeat

Credits: http://mentalfloss.com/article/60262/25-things-you-might-not-know-about-home-alone

You watched Home Alone so many times that you wore out the VHS tape. You could quote any line of dialogue from Kevin McCallister. And sometimes you’d wish that your parents would also disappear, because Macaulay Culkin made child abandonment look super, super cool. You can tell by the way he looks now though that maybe we don’t all want to be like Kevin McCallister…

There’s still nothing better than a nostalgic Christmas movie marathon though. MUST Include Home Alone, Jingle All The Way, and Miracle on 34th Street. Makes you feel like a kid again!

All of the Christmas Movies Were Better

Credits: http://baldmove.com/bald-movies/jingle-all-the-way-1996/

There we go It wasn’t just Home Alone that defined your childhood Christmases. It was all of the ’90s Christmas movies. The Santa Clause, The Santa Clause 2 and perhaps one of the greatest Arnold Schwarzenegger action movies of all time, Jingle All the Way were all made in the ’90s. And they were all amazing.

We love the cheesy lines and the even cheesier – nothing ever happens like that – endings. Something about that feel-good Christmas drama followed by a restful conclusion just really warms the cockles of my heart!

Christmas Music Was Better

Credits: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v327/becboobear/hanson/christmas/xmas05.jpg

The greatest Christmas song of all time (Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas is You”) was recorded in the ’90s. And if that wasn’t enough, bands like Hanson gave us some of the best Christmas albums of all time. We’d still be listening to them now if we had any way to play a CD.

Special mention also to Christina Aguilera’s Christmastime album, and of course the Chipmunks Christmas CD. Ever notice how Christmas music on the radio is pretty much all from the 90s! That’s becaus it was the best.

Two Words: Seasonal Cereal

Credits: https://www.amazon.com/Crunchs-Christmas-Crunch-Package-Limited/dp/B01N8S63FV

Nowadays, if kids want seasonal food, they have to settle for pumpkin spice everything. But back in the day, cereals knew how to give kids exactly what they wanted. A ton of sugar and white flour disguised as a colorful green and red “balanced” breakfast.

It was practically dessert for breakfast. If we had hoarded boxes of this stuff from the ’90s, we’d be digging in right now and honestly, they’d probably still be safe to eat.

Boy Bands Matched In The Best Way Ever

Credits: http://abkufo.platformicstaging.com/12/10/12/Backstreets-Back-Alright/landing.html?blockID=651743&feedID=10056

Year-round, boy bands like N*Sync and the Backstreet Boys had their matching outfit game on point. But they really kicked it up a notch around Christmas. This definitely wouldn’t fly in today’s standards.

We totally tore photos of the Backstreet Boys all dressed as Santa out of a Bop Magazine and stuck them on our walls. It’s part of decorating for Christmas!

Christmas Episodes of Nicktoons Were The Best

Credits: https://dotandline.net/best-christmas-cartoons-to-watch-1312089203d6?gi=9391022623bb

You know what Christmas cartoons are like now? Terrible, that’s what they are. And cartoons in general. The ’90s blessed us with Christmas Nicktoons and you got to see how all your characters celebrated their favorite holiday.

Sponge Bob, Rugrats, Fairly Odd Parents, Rocket Power? How can it get any better than that? Someone make me a compilation of al these amazing Christmas specials and I would pay good money for that. Is anyone writing this stuff down??

Catchy Old Navy Performance Fleece Jingles

Credits: https://allisonveneziowrites.com/2016/12/14/oldnavychristmas1998/

The Old Navy performance fleece commercials were so catchy that we can still recite them from memory 20 years later. “Performance fleece will be just fine! Performance fleece, we’ll be there at nine!”

Although, we still don’t know what performance fleece is supposed to be… And why exactly were they going to be there at nine? Is that when the store opens? Or is it the ski slopes? Someone help us understand!

Collecting Holiday Beanie Babies

Credits: https://www.popsugar.com/love/photo-gallery/26073132/image/26073184/Holiday-Beanie-Babies-Bears

You went psycho for regular beanie babies the rest of the year. But around the holidays, you went psycho for the limited edition beanie babies. If you had those in the ’90s, they could be worth hundreds of dollars. If you have them now, they’re actually worth negative money.

You remember the story of the couple who sold their life savings and house to invest in beanie babies. Yeah, I wonder where they are now…

'Nightmare Before Christmas' Gave Us Actual Nightmares

Credits: https://ohmy.disney.com/movies/2015/06/03/11-things-you-didnt-know-about-the-nightmare-before-christmas/

Nightmare Before Christmas came out in the ’90s. We’re still not sure if it’s supposed to be a Halloween movie or a Christmas movie. Just to be safe we’d watch it around both holidays. It’s a good movie! It deserves to be watched twice a year!

That soundtrack was absolute genius though, I’m wondering why movies these days don’t seem to have a clue how to compose a good piece of catchy music.