15 Hilarious Signs That Tell It Like It Is
Life is full of uncertainties. When we were children, we luckily had adults to show us the ropes. They had answers for all of our questions and guided us along the way so we could learn and grow as safely as possible. But then something happened… we grew up and became adults. And you know what happened? We realized that we still don’t know anything. How can we adults ask for the assistance of more adult adults? But that’s not even the worst part.
If we’re adults, and we don’t know what’s going on… that means the adults that guided us growing up probably also didn’t know what was going on. So that means… that nobody has a clue what’s up in life and we’re all just faking it. Luckily, every so often, through the murky fog of uncertainty, we see a sign that guides us in the right direction. Literally in these cases. These signs really tell it like it is.
This Is Here For A Reason
If you look at this sign and say, “Uh, yeah… duh,” then congratulations. You’re smarter than some folks.
That isn’t just a baseless compliment, either. The fact this sign is here means it needed to be said, because someone or someones didn’t realize it.
There are probably countless other obvious signs around this hotel. They likely warn about the hot water being hot and warning that air isn’t something you can walk on. Thanks, signs. You keep the idiots in this world safe.
Whoa, did you know that there were fines associated with dying? I always thought that being dead was the end.
Turns out, they’re still gonna try and collect two Benjamins from you after you pass away. How would that even work?
Is St. Peter gonna be standing there by the pearly gates and then inform you that you don’t get to pass GO and collect $200? Maybe we should start fining death row inmates, too. Maybe that will scare folks away from severe crimes.
That’s the spirit, fellas! Don’t let those know-it-alls get away with their genuine concern over your well being.
Why is stubbornness going to kill men? What, because we’re too prideful to admit mistakes and get help that could be invaluable?
As much sense as that makes when actually written down, I’m still dubious. And to paraphrase Ivan Drago, “If we die, we die.” What’s so bad about that? Other than the 200 dollar fine, of course. That thing is the real killer.
Location, Location, Location
You know how sometimes in life you see a coincidence so beautiful it makes you believe in the existence of a higher power?
This isn’t one of those instances. I mean, sure, whoever is responsible for this is definitely higher than most.
Because of the height of the billboard, you see. Also, they had to have been stoned out of their minds to not realize how this was going to look. Then again, it brought a lot of attention to the ads, so maybe it wasn’t so dumb?
Can we just take a moment to appreciate how amazing spellcheck is? It has to be one of the best inventions ever.
It keeps us from looking like total dumb dumbs in our texts and emails. Unfortunately, spellcheck doesn’t exist on physical signs.
But you could always spellcheck before printing this, so… maybe this isn’t an error? If that’s the case, this is the best sign I or you have ever seen. Hang this up on your door instead of putting a sock over the doorknob when you… you know.
An Even Worse Punishment
Remember when we learned that you’d be fined for dying and I gave it a lot of guff (oh, hi, sister site!)?
Well, it turns out there are worse punishments out there for your actions. Let this be a reminder to not steal.
Otherwise, you’re gonna be out on the streets. And not just because they kicked you out of their establishment. These folks really don’t mess around. At least they warn you of what the punishment will be here.
“My, that’s a lovely collection of cars they have here. I think I’ll take a closer look.
What’s this? Hm… I mean, I wasn’t planning on doing that. Frankly, I’m a bit offended they would feel like they needed to tell me.
Then again, maybe it’s not for me. If this sign is here, that means it must have come up. Kind of like that balcony sign I saw at the hotel the other day. Jeez, some people need everything spelled out for them.”
No! Anything But That!
Sure, this seems redundant. It doesn’t even seem like that scary of a threat, to be honest.
Especially when you consider the threats we’ve seen already. You can be killed and fined and then prostituted. Those seem way worse.
But what this sign is leaving out is how you’ll be asked to leave. They’ll ask you to leave through a different door, and they won’t even say “please” or “thank you.” Exercise combined with rudeness? I’d take any other punishment over that.
What A Deal!
“Hi, there! I saw your sign and figured I’d come in. Let’s talk business for a sec, shall we?
I noticed you don’t have any balcony warnings posted, so you must have a pretty intelligent list of clients here.
Now, while free WiFi for 60 bucks is a pretty sweet offer, I’d like to haggle with you. That sign is obviously ridiculous. How about you just give me the free WiFi… for 30 bucks. That seems more fair, doesn’t it now?”
Are you aware that dyslexia affects 10 out of every 3 writers on this website?
Thank goodness I don’t have it. I read this sign and everything was in perfect order. I don’t even know what it’s talking about.
Why are people reading the top line wrong? The words are all relatively easy to decipher. People can’t be that dumb, can they? Then again, after reading all these signs that are apparently necessary, I guess they absolutely can be. Crayz.
Thanks For The Warning
Um… there are so many questions to be asked here that I don’t know where to begin.
First of all, why did you make the sign edges so sharp that you felt like you had to warn people about it?
Second of all, this sign only exists to warn you about this sign. By removing this sign, you remove the need for it. This is a real paradox going on here. I’d suggest taking it down, but fear that might cause some sort of time anomaly.
Honesty In Advertising
Jalapeno poopers don’t agree with everyone and can leave you stranded on the toilet for hours.
Not everyone knows that, so it’s refreshing to see this ad let everyone know what they can expect if they order these delicious appetizers.
Also, this is an example of a sign where you may have misread the top line. You likely got so distracted by the word “poopers” that you didn’t see the spelling error in the word “jalapeno.” Go on and take a closer look.
Look, McDonald’s has done some interesting to terrifying things to my bowel movements over the decades.
It’s made it all sorts of different colors and textures, but I’m fairly certain it’s never put a smile on its face.
Does that stuff even have a face? Look, I don’t want to tell anyone how to run their business, but if you’re in the business of preparing food for consumption, maybe excrement isn’t the first choice for who should be handling said food.
Double Down On It
This seems like a strange way of trying to draw people into your restaurant to eat your food.
But sometimes, you have to think outside of the box… and the bun. But the chain that does that also leaves you with loaded bowels.
Maybe they think the honesty will appeal to consumers. We all know that’s what fast food does to you, but the fact they’re so upfront with it is a breath of fresh air, which is something you’ll crave while in the bathroom after eating here.
That's A Relief
Then again, the best type of advertising are the ones that answer any questions you may have.
You see those first two lines and think, “Those are great services, but I just want to make sure of one thing…”
They knew what you were gonna think, and they jumped ahead of it. After reading all those fast food signs, it’s nice to know there’s a business that can help reduce the amount of waste instead of adding to it. And hey, pool service, too!