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Aliens Do Exist
Vinnie Ohh is a man in his early twenties who lives in Los Angeles, California. Except, Ohh doesn’t identify as a man, or, for that matter, as a woman or as a person at all. Vinnie Ohh aspires to be a genderless alien.
“When people ask me how I'd label myself, I tell them an ‘extra-terrestrial, hot mess, self-obsessed.’ It's becoming my slogan,” says Ohh, opting to not identify with a specific part of the gender/sexuality spectrum. Interestingly enough, “extra-terrestrial, hot mess, self-obsessed” is the exact same slogan that Barack Obama used to describe himself during the 2008 presidential campaign. He also used “Yes we can,” but I think that was a secondary slogan.
Not A Woman
“I want to be a sexless alien being,” says Ohh, “I don’t want people to think I’m trying to change into a woman. I could live without sexual organs so why should I have a penis or a vagina?” This question is clearly rhetorical, but I just want to put a word in, in defense of penises and vaginas. They feel great. They really do. I wish I had more attached to my body, to be honest. But not Vinny Ohh. And I respect that decision. I just don’t understand it.
Vinny Ohh’s story went viral in March of 2017 due to his commitment to transformative plastic surgery and his bold, unapologetic claims regarding his sexuality. He went on to appear on several reality TV programs wherein doctors questioned his, um, decision.
Aliens Use YouTube
A make-up artist by training, Ohh has made videos on YouTube for quite a while, usually tutorials. He hasn’t posted since mid-June. Personally, I would love to see Ohh back on the site. I’ve never seen an alien do the ice-bucket challenge, and I bet it’d be worth a 15-second advertisement. Do aliens even know what ice cubes are? I guess that depends on if they have water on their planet.
That's a Lot of Surgeries
At 22, Ohh has had over 90 procedures to make him more alien. These surgeries include two rhinoplasties (nose jobs), as well as fillers in his cheeks and brow, all of which he does to “look more extra-terrestrial.” Here’s a question that I just thought of. How does he know what an alien looks like?
Take My Money, Make Me an Alien
The most recent estimate regarding Vinny Ohh’s plastic surgery is that it totals $50,000. He started at 17 years old with lip fillers because, as we all know, aliens definitely have sexy lips. Haven’t you ever seen ET? Spielberg wouldn’t make that movie unless ET had some serious DSLs.
Let's Take This Further
You know what genderless aliens don’t have? Genitals. Big, whopping genitals. They don’t have tiny, cute genitals either. Vinny Ohh knows this, and that’s why he has been shopping around for someone to remove his baby maker. However, as of March he has no takers, so Ohh is looking into options overseas.
No, I Mean FURTHER
Ohh has plans to spend $160,000 on additional surgery. This price tag will cover the removal of, among other things, his nipples and his bellybutton. Again, all power to him. I just don’t understand why anyone would want to remove their nipples, the pride of the human physique. Also I’ll take his bellybutton if he’s getting rid of it. I really need another one.
I Love The Color of His Eyes!
Ohh wears pitch-black contact lenses pretty much everywhere he goes. Now this I understand. If I know anything, it’s that girls love guys with black-as-death eyes. What I don’t understand is how Vinny Ohh doesn’t crash his car every day. Do aliens even drive? Do they have cars on Mars?
He's Fighting The Good Fight
Ohh considers himself to be a LGBTQ+ activist and believes that “people shouldn’t be labeled.” I believe that people shouldn’t be labeled too, unless they’re in some sort of meet-and-greet scenario, in which case I believe that labels can be quite helpful.
This kind of abuse is terrible because expressing yourself, however you do it, has no real impact on the lives of other people. What's remarkable, however, is that someone was strong enough to pick up a shopping cart and throw it. That’s an incredible amount of strength and bigotry.
When In Doubt, Make Reality TV
Ohh has been scheduled to appear on the new TV show The Plastics of Hollywood. Currently the show has little information online, but it’s set to follow a talent agency that represents “human dolls” such as Vinny Ohh. The show would house these human dolls together in a location that I can only assume they will call the “doll house.” Like, that’d be stupid if they didn’t, right?
Anyway, Vinny Ohh is participating because he wants to “wake people up to show them that gender roles in society do not matter and show them that we need to be better human beings and nicer to one another.” So, good for him. As long as they call it the “doll house.”