As ridiculous as this seems, its better than the alternative. The alternative, of course, being putting these wienies on a stick and roasting them over your creepy friend's blazing head. Besides, hot dogs are just as good as coffee for giving you that mid-afternoon energy boost.
Yeah, this might technically be considered a crime. But you know what? All those times you came so close to nabbing the giant teddy, only for it to slip at the last minute is also a crime, so we'll just call it even.
This almost looks like an internal monologue. Ever wonder what birds and animals do all day without having all of our human distractions? I like to think while we dream of being able to soar, they dream of being able to connect to Wi-Fi.
This is the perfect way to prevent theft. If you're wondering why, ask yourself one question: Would you want to steal property from someone this clearly insane, knowing they may one day find you? Didn't think so.
Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. But only if it's done correctly. Eating sugar cereal out of athletic gear doesn't make it healthier. That'd be like trying to lose weight by eating pizza out of a jockstrap.