Disneyland was Walt Disney's singular vision and he did not entrust its design or building to anyone else. Using the tireless work ethic he had honed during the Great Depression, Walt Disney began construction on Disneyland in 1940 and single-handedly constructed every single ride, building and structure in the park. The last nail was hammered in by Walt on the morning of July 17, 1955, just moments before the park opened for the first time.
They may look like an innocent ride, but the Teacups are actually capable of creating force in excess of 3 G's, the equivalent of the Space Shuttle. Aspiring astronauts are often forced to ride the Teacups dozens of times in a row to acclimate themselves to the changes in pressure. The ride is also able to simulate the intense heat experienced by astronauts during re-entry to the Earth's atmosphere.
3. There is a Basketball Court Inside the Matterhorn
And Goofy absolutely owns that court. Goofy's lankiness makes him a natural at patrolling the paint with his reach often causing turnovers and contesting shots from even the quickest players. On offense, Goofy demonstrates surprising speed for a player his size and is able to take more than capable defenders off the dribble and allow him uncontested finger-rolls at the rim. Goofy has averaged a triple-double in points, rebounds and assists since the park opened.
The beloved E-ticket ride has not been seen since its mysterious 1995 hijacking. According to eyewitnesses, the ride was boarded by several suspicious characters who proceeded to drive it off its tracks and the Disneyland property, never to be seen again. Recent developments suggest that the authorities have finally located the ride and are closing in on the perpetrators with the intention of bringing the ride back to Tomorrowland.
When Disney characters get too old and their quality of life has begun to suffer, they are euthanized by a crack team of veterinarians who quickly act to ensure that the character in question does not suffer. This practice goes back to the early days of the Disney company and was reportedly the inspiration for the film Old Yeller.
Contrary to popular belief, smoking is not completely outlawed in Disneyland. There are actually a few designated places in the park in which smoking is not only allowed, but is encouraged and necessary. These were personally put in place by Walt Disney who had to smoke because I mean come on guys, there's so many kids and noises and doesn't it just make you feel like you want to put a bullet in your head because you can't handle all this pressure and-, man that's a good cigarette. So smooth. What were we talking about again?
Walt designed Sleeping Beauty's castle to be his own private fortress and stronghold within the park and as such the castle is equipped with catapults, a moat, boiling oil, a troop of knights, fully functional drawbridge and a ration of food designed to withstand a medieval siege for weeks at a time.
It's no secret that the food at Disneyland is incredible, but it's come a long way since it first started. In keeping with the theme of a mouse's paradise, the park's original policy was to round up any stray cats in the park and serve them as seen in the photo above. This policy was quickly abandoned when it was discovered that the average person does not enjoy the gamey taste of cat flesh.
Listen pal, this childhood fantasy world full of wonder and enchantment does just fine without your dumbass getting drunk and ruining it for the kids who deserve it. You're 28 years old for God's sake. I don't think uncle Walt would give two shits about your student loans, your entitlement issues or your inability to grow up. By 28 Walt had already released Steamboat Willie, so he wouldn't have a lot of sympathy for your lazy sorry ass. So stay in line, or we swear to God we will make this the Unhappiest Place on Earth faster than you can say "Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah." We clear? Great. Have a nice fuckin' Disney day."
With the recent acquisition of Lucasfilm by Disney, your favorite Star Wars characters will soon be coming to the park. Preparations are well under way for the new installations and Uncle Walt, still going strong in his 114th year, has brought out his toolbox for a long an arduous construction process. May the Force Be With Him!