Sarcasm: Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect. - Mark Twain - Sarcastic Quotes
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Mark Twain Sarcastic Quotes

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.

Honesty is the best policy -- when there is money in it.

Familiarity breeds contempt -- and children.

Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

I would like to live in Manchester, England. The transition between Manchester and death would be unnoticeable.

When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

If you don't read the newspaper, you are uninformed; if you do read the newspaper, you are misinformed.

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Sarcastic Haikus

Once in a while I'll get a sarcastic haiku from visitors. They are all finely crafted and can be from a haiku master for all I know. Some of them are so sarcastic that I'm not even sure if they are actually sarcastic or if my mind is just playing tricks on me. Regardless, without any further ado, here are the sarcastic haikus

Things that Peeve My Pet

It makes no sense to say "I could care less"! That statement means that it is possible for you to care less, meaning that you at least care a little. What you really mean to say is, "I couldn't care less". I'm sure it is crystal clear to you now, but you could care less about what I have to say.

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