“No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.”
“How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them.”
“A man is as young as the woman he feels.”
“A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.”
“Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!”
“If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.”
“Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.”
“I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.”
“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”
“I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.”
“I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.”
“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.”
