“I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.”Groucho Marx
“The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.”Frank Zappa
“The 100% American is 99% idiot.”George Bernard Shaw
“The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.”George Bernard Shaw
“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.”Oscar Wilde
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”Oscar Wilde
“I am not young enough to know everything.”Oscar Wilde
“Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.”Oscar Wilde
“He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.”Victor Borge
“I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”Mark Twain
“Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.”Mark Twain
“Honesty is the best policy -- when there is money in it.”Mark Twain
“Familiarity breeds contempt -- and children.”Mark Twain
“Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”Mark Twain
“I would like to live in Manchester, England. The transition between Manchester and death would be unnoticeable.”Mark Twain
