Sarcastic Quotes

Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.Ashleigh Brilliant

It's always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black.Paul Newman

It's a catastrophic success.Stephen Bishop

I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here.Stephen Bishop

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.Abba Eban

No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.Groucho Marx

How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them.Groucho Marx

A man is as young as the woman he feels.Groucho Marx

A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.Groucho Marx

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!Groucho Marx

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.Groucho Marx

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.Groucho Marx

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.Groucho Marx

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.Groucho Marx

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.Groucho Marx