Sarcasm: Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. - Anonymous - Sarcastic Quotes

How To Be Sarcastic

Before I begin, I would like to point out that I am fully aware that some of the writing on this site is not even close to being sarcastic; but that is ok, because this is my web site, and I can do with it as I please.

Now that we have that cleared up let us get to the topic at hand. I should, however, include another caveat in order to avoid emails from idiots thinking that I am indirectly singing my own praises.

By no means do I consider myself intellectually superior to you. Just because I am trying to teach you something that is usually innate and comes easy to those who are clever and intelligent, or at least quick-witted, does not mean that I presume to think myself your superior, and expect that you genuflect before me.

Tutorial: How to be Sarcastic

As mentioned above sarcasm is usually innate; however, if you would still like to attempt developing this ability, your chances of success would be greatly increased if you are intelligent, or at the least not mentally incapable of detecting and reproducing sarcastic remarks. Because if you cannot make your very own sarcastic comments, you can still pass as having some grasp of this art by being able to recognize sarcasm when it is produced by someone else, and be able to retain it in memory long enough to use it at a later time when that particular sarcastic remark would be relevant.

Lesson One: What Is Sarcasm

Sarcasm Related

Sarcastic Haiku

Once in a while I'll get a sarcastic haiku from visitors. They are all finely crafted and can be from a haiku master for all I know. Some of them are so sarcastic that I'm not even sure if they are actually sarcastic or if my mind is just playing tricks on me. Regardless, without any further ado, here are the sarcastic haiku

Things that Peeve My Pet

It makes no sense to say "I could care less"! That statement means that it is possible for you to care less, meaning that you at least care a little. What you really mean to say is, "I couldn't care less". I'm sure it is crystal clear to you now, but you could care less about what I have to say.

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