You can't go to another family wedding where the whole family is asking you when you are going to bite the bullet. You'd rather stay with the dud you are with. Maybe your mom will help you pay for the divorce? You will cross that bridge when you get there.
You would rather settle than try to figure out the wifi password. Have you ever tried to call the internet company to ask for help? First you are put on hold. Then they don't know what they are talking about. Then they tell you that they are going to have to send someone over and you have to take off of work to let them in. Exactly. Now you get it.
There is no good way to split the dog. You may want the head, but you will miss their little tail. If you get their tail, you'll miss their morning licks. Either way you split the dog, it's a lose/lose situation for both of you.
Well, that was your bad for buying a new mattress together. Mattresses = commitment, so I hope you learned your lesson. Also the couch, the lamp, the dresser, the rug. It's too much to think about and you really can't afford to buy any furniture right now. With all that stuff that you bought together, you may as well get married.
If you guys break up, your commute will double. Maybe you can ditch them but get a life-sized doll made that looks like them. It would be creepy, but you can break up with them and still use the HOV lane. It's something to think about.
It's a shame that divorce isn't cheaper and I guess murder seems a little extreme. You don't to kill them, you just kind of wish that they would go away. Well, if those are the only other options, I guess you have to stay.
Do you know how hard it is to get affordable healthcare? This is the world that we live in, so you have to stay with your annoying partner that you so desperately want to leave. Your health depends on it.
If the thought of flirting and having sex with a stranger is almost as bad as being with a person that you are currently with, why would you leave? You have to shave your legs, do your hair, wear makeup. Eh, just stay where you are.
On a more serious note, if you are having trouble letting go of your memories with this person, recreate them. Go and do the things that you loved to do with each other with your friends instead. It will help you get over the person and will allow you to still enjoy those things but in a different way.
It's better to be alone than to be with someone and feel alone. You have no idea what or who is waiting for you on the other side if you leave your current situation. Just go for it. You are already unhappy, so you really have nothing to lose!