It’s hard enough to walk in those heels as is, but when you are walking on uneven ground, forget it! You better walk slow and carefully or you’ll look like a baby giraffe trying to stand for the first time. Don’t step on a crack of you’ll break your ankle.
The worst thing in the world is when you open your makeup compact and it is shattered to pieces. It’s a damn travesty, I tell you! But don’t you worry, you will still use it over and over and over again until the powder is all over the place and there is barely anything there. But you will still find some powder hiding in the cracks and use it for months longer than you should.
Girls live in absolute fear every time we wear white pants. You can’t sit down without the fear of sitting in something and if it is that time of the month, pure terror ensues. You know you’ll wind up checking your crotch every five seconds if you wear white pants so you may as well keep them in your closet.
You go to find makeup in your makeup bag and you get makeup all over your hands instead. It’s usually some lip gloss residue or, even worse, eyeliner that went rogue. It’s a pain in the butt and before you know it, you’ll have makeup everywhere but on your face!
5. Living In Yoga Pants
You don't have any clean clothes? Who cares! You live in your workout clothes anyway. Going to the store? Throw on your yoga pants. Getting a mani? Put those leggings on. You live in your yoga pants and activewear, whether you work out or not.
Every time you get your period, you never have a tampon on you. You have to ask a friend or neighbor, or you have to use a wad of toilet paper to tide you over until you buy some. You’ve had your period for close to 20 years so why are you never ever prepared? It’s ridiculous!
Oh wait! You found a tampon! It flew out of your purse and landed on the floor in front of a huge group of dudes you work with only two days after you had to go to the store and use wadded up toilet paper because you couldn’t find a tampon.
You get to the gym and, DAMMIT,You forgot a hair thing. So you scrounge around for a rubber band and destroy your hair or you you wind up running with your hair down, which we all know is an absolute nightmare. Anyone else ready to cut it all off?
When you are in the shower, your hair falls out all over the place. You throw some on the wall and create your hair art, but some of it still winds up in the drain. A month later you have to pull out a nasty hairball the size of a small cat. It’s actually impressive.
How are we supposed to remember to take a pill every single day and at the same time each day no less?! You’ve tried setting alarms. You tried morning, afternoon and night, and no matter what, you always manage to skip a pill. And then you get your period for two weeks and it is absolute hell.
You spend a gazillion years blowdrying your hair and it is still wet. So you spend a gazillion more years drying it. You dry it while brushing your teeth, while you are doing your makeup and while you sit on the toilet and still, you walk out the door hours later and you still feel a wet spot.
How many times have you tried on clothes in a changing room and gotten stuck in them? Getting stuck in a sleeve is the worst. You can’t move your arms and you start getting hot and begin to panic. You hear a slight rip in the garment and you are able to break free and run out of there before they see how you stretched the outfit and all the makeup you accidentally got all over it.
At some point, all of your jeans get a hole in the crotch from your lack of thigh gap. Every single pair of pants that you own are faded or have a hole in the crotch. And tights are even worse. You are lucky if you get one use out of them before ripping them to pieces.
You are getting a little hot so you take off your sweater and you realize that you forgot to shave your armpits. You look down and the hair is out of control! You better walk around with your hands down all day or put that sweater back on because you are a hairy mess.
You go to get your chapstick or lip gloss, and of course it’s missing. It is most definitely in your other purse because it will always be in the purse that you left home and not in the one you have on you. Always.
You have your period and your sneeze and…. UH OH! You run to the bathroom because it feels like a waterfall down there. You go in and check and it’s never as bad as it feels but you still lose your mind every time it happens.
If you are having a long day and you plan to go out with the dude you are dating after work so you better have a spare pair of underwear in your purse. Special bonus points if you carry baby wipes and special special bonus points if you find a spare pair of underwear in there months after you put them there and still get to make use of them.
This is always terrifying. You run the water from the sink so he can’t hear you poop. You flush a million times in fear that it won’t go down and you panic that the toilet could clog or overflow. It is life or death in there and you just want to come out alive.
Your period is late. It is probably because you accidentally skipped your pill, but you automatically assume you’re pregnant. You have gas, you are pregnant. You are carsick, you are pregnant. Every month you are pregnant until you get your period and realize you are not pregnant.