When it's time to take the next step with your partner, you want to make sure that you are both on the same page. Before you say "I do" you need to ask them the tough questions. What do they need in their lives? What do they want? What are their expectations and where do they see themselves in the future both goal-wise and geographically. If one of you wants to live in Chicago, and the other wants to settle in Miami, you have a problem. Sure, things change and people change their minds, but you want to make sure you guys talk about it and get it out in the open before you walk down the aisle.
You want to make sure that you both are fulfilled sexually. Sex is a big part of a partnership and you need to make sure you both are compatible sexually. Make sure you know what they want and need and be honest about what you need and what you are able to give them. Are they satisfied with your sex life? Are you? Let's talk about sex, baby!
You probably know how they feel about their family, but go a little deeper. What do they expect from you as a partner when it comes to their family? What are their parents expectations of you? Their family is about to be your family, so you want to make sure you are ready for it.
Money issues can be a huge stressor in a relationship. It's good to talk about what would happen if one of you lost a job. You should discuss where you see yourself financially in five years, what a lot of money looks like to them and what their goals are in terms of earning money.
I'm sure that you've had some sort of talk about having kids if you are serious with them, but make sure you really talk about it before you walk down the aisle. And not only talk about having kids but ask when they want to have kids. And how many? You don't want to get married and then have them tell you that they aren't ready when you already are.
6. Are You Happy With Each Other’s Approach To Health?
Do they lead a healthy life? Do you? If you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want to know that they are being good to themselves. This is a partnership and you don't want to watch your partner live an unhealthy lifestyle.
It's good to know how important religion is to them and how they plan to raise their children. You want to make sure that this will be okay with their families too. Will they need to be baptized? Have a bar or bat mitzvah? Have a confirmation? How important is religion to either one of you and what role with it play in your family?
Some people need to be distracted when they are stressed. Some people need to be alone. You don't want to smother your partner when they need their time to decompress. Know their needs, both inside and out.
How do you need to fight? Do you need to sleep on it and talk about in the morning? Do they need to fight it out before you can sleep? It's good to know how you and how they fight and also how you both resolve conflict before you decide to share a life with someone.
How much time alone does your partner need and how much do you need? Some people need their time alone to recharge and others are more dependent on their loved ones to feel good. Know what your partner needs and make sure you are able to do it before you tie the knot.
Neither person in the relationship should feel like they are doing all the work. You are their partner, not their parent. It should be even and fair. Split up chores or do them together as a team. Whatever you decide, try to figure out what works for both of you.
Talk about what your plans are for finances. How much money are you spending a month? What are spending it on? What is your money and what is their money. Talk it out before you start sharing bank accounts and credit cards.
13. What Place Does Each Other’s Family Play In Our Family Life?
When you have kids, is their mother-in-law going to think that she is raising the child? Where are you spending your Christmas and Thanksgiving? How pushy are his parents or siblings and how much time does he plan to spend with them? These are some things you should know. In-laws can be tricky.
How much time do they need with the boys or out with the girls? When they have free time, how much goes to you, them and their friends? It's good to know, because everyone is different and everyone needs different things. You don't want to be hurt or feel like you are being replaced by their friends.
You want your partner to be the best version of themselves. It would be really hard to be with someone who isn't living to their full potential. Talk about their goals and what they want out of life. You don't want to drag them through this world and always have to be their cheerleader. You want someone who wants to get the most out of their life. Ambition is sexy!