The Harry Potter movies were all very good, but something seemed missing from them. For years we tried to figure it out, but couldn't put our finger on it. But now we know - it was that Voldemort was payed by someone other than Nicolas Cage.
In recent years, Nickelback has been frequently deemed not-so-cool anymore. However, that would all change if all the members were replaced with clones of Nicolas Cage. If Chad Kroeger is smart, he'll make this happen.
If you were robbing a house, who would be a more dangerous person to be up against - Kevin McCallister, or Nicolas Cage? On the one hand, Kevin is incredibly clever, but he's a kid. On the other hand, Cage is an adult who might go crazy and stab you.
Think back for a moment to Napoleon Dynamite saying one of his lines, like "Heck yes!" or "Stay home and eat all the freakin chips Kip!" Now imagine Nicolas Cage saying those exact same lines. Surprisingly, if Nic Cage took over the role, the character would still sound exactly the same.
If you're ever in Paris, visit the Louvre museum, find the original Mona Lisa painting, and change it to make it look like this. Don't worry, you won't be ruining the painting. If anything, changing it to Nic Cage will make it roughly 50-100 times more valuable.
Through some ripple of the space-time continuum, Doc and Marty have been replaced with two different Nicolas Cages. Normally, Doc would say that messing with time like this is very dangerous. But in this case, things have only been changed for the better.
The third National Treasure movie may or may not ever get made. But if it does, you know at some point Nic will go undercover as the Statue of Liberty. After all, there's got to be a secret treasure hidden somewhere in that torch.
If you think Game Of Thrones is totally bonkers now, just wait until Nic Cage gets involved. If he ever got on the show, all the crazy things that have happened would suddenly make sense if you knew it was somehow connected to Nic.
Yoda was a calm, wise Jedi who would say things like "Do or do not, there is no try," and "You must unlearn what you have learned." Now imagine these lines instead being shouted out by caffeinated Nic Cage. It should be pretty clear which version is better.
Nicolas Cage and Sean Connery starred together in the movie The Rock. But when you think about it, why limit Nic to one role? Just replace Connery with Cage and you just might have the best movie of all time.
Or better yet, there's Nicolas Cage in Face/Off, with his brand new co-star, Nicolas Cage. The premise - What if Nic Cage was forced to trade faces with . . . himself? It may not make much sense, but if anyone would be willing to give it a shot, it's Nic.