Marriage isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. Marriage is hard! There are times where you are both on the same page and everything is peachy. And then there are moments filled with eye rolls, silent treatment and poor communication. No one said it was easy!
So, in order to have a long-lasting, solid and happy relationship you must have proper communication. There must be mutual respect and commitment. If you guys are growing apart, pay attention to how your husband is speaking to you and what he is saying to you. What he is saying to you, could mean that your marriage is falling apart.
If your husband says any of the following phrases, your marriage may be in trouble. But before jumping the gun and filing for divorce, talk to him about how he is feeling and what he wants. If it is worth making the marriage work, you will find a way to work it out. If you both aren’t willing to work on the marriage then it’s time to say goodbye.
Life can be mundane and year after year with the same person can feel monotonous if you don’t work on it. If he says that he is bored, ask yourself if you are fulfilled in your relationship. Do you guys need to spice things up and try to branch out a little or is it too late?
If he says to you, "You never understand what I'm saying," or "You don't understand me" then you guys aren’t communicating properly. Men and women are different and they need different things to be happy. He could be saying that he feels misunderstood. Take some time and listen to one another and try to figure out where the other person is coming from before you just get defensive and walk away.
Change is really really hard. If he wants you to change, ask yourself some questions. Can you change? Do you want to change? Do you think you need to change? Maybe you guys don’t see eye to eye and you may not be able to be the person he needs you to be. Talk to each other about what you can and cannot change and how you are both willing to compromise if you want to stay together.
Comparing your partner to anyone or anything is trouble. If your partner compares you to his mother, friends, sisters or an other woman then he is not valuing you for the amazing woman that you are. Think about the relationship that you are in and ask yourself if this relationship is healthy for you.
As you spend your life with someone, people will grow and change. If he says this to you, then he doesn’t understand that he may not be the person that you fell in love with either. It is impossible for someone to stay exactly the same way and why would you want them to? You must grow and change together in order to have a successful relationship. If he doesn’t like the person you are today, it isn’t going to work in the end.
“Whatever you say is fine” or Whatever you want” shows that he isn’t really interested. There may be a lack of passion in your marriage. If something is broken, you have to talk about it and try to fix it. This lack of passion will slowly kill your marriage.
Being in a successful relationship means trying to understand where the other person is coming from. If he says, “You’re being ridiculous” he is discounting your feelings. Dismissing each other's feelings is a sure way to fail. Try to understand one another if you want to be together.
While you shouldn’t be keeping tabs on him every time he is not with you, he shouldn’t be keeping things from you either. If he can’t tell you how he spent you day, what else is he keeping from you? Secrets in a marriage are a recipe for a disaster.
According to Christian Denmon, a Florida-based divorce attorney, “A clear marker on the pathway to divorce is when one or both spouses become disinterested in the actions of the other.” If he doesn’t care, get out. There is no way to make it work if both parties aren’t willing to fight for it.
And you know what is worse than those phrases? Saying nothing at all. Silence means that your partner is closing themselves off to what their partner has to say. They are no longer invested and they are putting up a wall. How can you move forward if you aren’t communicating at all?