What is it about alcohol that makes all food taste so good? What even is this combo? It looks like prime rib, garlic bread, wings and fried rice. It's nauseating to the sober eye, but a five-star five-course feast to someone with beer goggles.
Sure, they could have just looked a little harder for the can opener. But they found these tools first and figured, "F**k it." Can't argue with results now, can you? Even if they accidentally eat some can shards, everyone can use a little extra copper in their diet.
Were they planning on cooking them like this? Or were they maybe placing them here, knowing their sober roommates would gawk over it, giving them time to swoop in and claim first dibs on the toaster. I genuinely can't tell if this is dangerous or genius. Let's just call it "dangenius."
I like that they gave themselves an hour to accomplish this. Once it's in the blender, then what? Do they run it? Use it as a distraction like the pasta in the toaster? Does sober them even know? Drunk them is full of surprises.
A Jell-O shot fell on her shoe. She could have just gotten another one from the overflowing platter, but that would be wasteful. After all, there are sober kids in America. Think of them before losing any liquor.
"What? Most dogs would kill for the chance to gobble up the barf of a guy who just ate 20 tacos and half a calzone. It'd be wasteful to just leave it. Stop shaming us. I love drunk Han way more than sober Han and so should you."
Or, you could just let your dog clean it up. I don't know what it is about Freckles, but he's gotten a real taste for this stuff lately. I'd quit drinking, but he seems to like me way better when I'm buzzed.
This should be a service provided by bartenders for their drunk AF customers. In fact, after your first drink, bars should be required by law to take your keys and your phone. The world would be a safer, happier place.
Then again, maybe we should let some drunk people keep their phones. The world is a better place thanks to exchanges such as these. Maybe you can get licensed to text while drunk. That would be a fun line at the DMV.
Nick thought his mom loved the cat more than she loved him. So did he confront her about it? Of course not. Instead, he got drunk and decided to act like a feline. Somehow, I don't think this is gonna make him the favorite any time soon.
This lady was bound and determined to not misplace her earrings. So, naturally, the next day she couldn't find them. They were eventually retrieved, likely by someone who didn't realize how rich they were and that they could afford to wipe their ass with diamonds.
Under "Special Instructions," this drunk guy asked Domino's to pick up some McDonald's. Miraculously, they obliged. You wouldn't have even thought to do this when sober. Glad this delivery guy took it in stride. Otherwise, it would have made for quite the awkward encounter.