Well, hopefully they noticed that there was no toilet paper on the roll the second they walked into the bathroom. Either way, this person is a total prick and deserves to be tarred and feathered. Next time, you they should pull this prank on this guy.
Being a cat lady, I would be able to recognize the consistency of the cat food right away. But, for the cat-less human, this may be a bit trickier. Well, upon opening it, they should think that there is something very wrong with the color and odor.
This is taking the “man spread” to a whole new obnoxious level. You’re seriously going to take up five seats. If he’s going to take a full lay-down nap on the subway, you have permission to throw garbage at him.
This is upping the whoopie cushion game to all-star status. You might get a call from human resources, though, for pulling a prank like this, especially after your coworker has to go home from sh**ting themselves.
Do you have permission to run them over in this situation? You should be able to. Sometimes bikers can be so obnoxious. What I like to do is ride along side of them and scream, “I’m going faster than you!”