When you're pretty sure that the last time you got some was before you were born. It's scientifically impossible for your business to grow cobwebs, right? Right??
Is it too late to text homeboy in fourth grade who pulled your pigtails? Even if he's now happily married with kids? Because if you realized he was flirting back then, he might have ended up with you.
Sometimes you're single because you know you're amazing. Sometimes you're single because your a mess. Sometimes you're single because you're both.
For real. Ladies, don't meet men in clubs. Meet creeps in clubs, sure. But not men.
Cue The More You Know...
Sometimes you can't be bothered. Even when you're bothered by how single you are. That's life.
If he can't take you at your creepy clown doll, he doesn't deserve you at your creepy porcelain doll. You are who you are! And that should be good enough!
Sometimes you want a relationship. Sometimes you want everyone to get the hell away from you. But always, you have those same two feelings at the same time.
Flirting is, like, hard. Super hard. Like...NASA hard. Why can't you just be blunt? Why does that not ever work?
You gotta know your worth. When you know you deserve a steak dinner, you're not going to settle for McDonald's.
This guy gets it.
Sometimes you need to have it spelled out for you. There's nothing wrong with that. Except for the fact that's the reason why you're so unbearably single.
The bride is enjoying the happiest day of her life. Meanwhile, the girl with the salad is also enjoying the happiest day of her life. It's a pretty good salad.
Valentine's Day? Isn't that Single Awareness Day? You know, the day when you're aware of how miserably single you are?
No news is good news. Except when it's news of your dating life. Then you're dying alone in a ditch.
What's that? It's not attractive when you get so nervous that you puke all over yourself? Nobody finds that hot? Is that just me?
When you're single, you're pretty much in a relationship with yourself. So why wouldn't you greet yourself when you come home? Oh, that's called talking to yourself? And it means that you're crazy?