Us girls worry about how good of a shaving job we did while at the beach. Unless, you prefer going au natural, which is becoming more popular these days. But usually, the sun will bring out all the hairs we missed. Oh, and those bikini bottoms are so tiny, it’s hard to contain that jungle you’ve got going on down there.
You’re trying to maintain your “summer bod,” but beach food is so good and greasy. Should you go for the salad or the juicy burger? Side note: That girl in the photo DOES NOT actually eat burgers at the beach.
If you’re a regular beach goer, chances are you’ll end up having your period at the beach one day this summer. Those pesky little tampon strings can be a drag. You’re constantly wondering if It’s hanging out the bottom of your bathing suit like a “pull me” tab.
If you’re a straight woman or a gay woman, you’re going to be checking out other girls on the beach. You’ll be admiring their bathing suit, or thin, “WTF how does this girl look so good? I feel like a f***ing blowfish.”
We all have fears about getting caught up in a current and getting pulled out too far. Then you’ll be embarrassed about a lifeguard having to save your stupid a**. Wait, unless the lifeguard is hot. Then you’ll start playing out a whole fantasy scenario in your head.
When you get caught in a wave, you have no control over what you’re going to look like when you come back up. It’s very likely that one of your girls will pop out. Thank god, beaches in New York City are topless so I don’t have to worry about that problem.
Well, to avoid that embarrassing rescue, you probably shouldn’t drink ALL the wine. Drinking wine and the beach go hand-in-hand for most girls I know. But, you worry about getting too drunk, or getting caught drinking by the beach authorities. Oh, and nobody drinks wine out of fancy glasses at the beach. That photo is just too far gone from your sloppy beach drunk reality.
Oh, and if you’re doing a lot of what was mentioned in the previous slide … you’ll have to pee a lot. Well, everyone goes in the water, and don’t pretend you don’t. But you wonder if anyone can tell if you are actually peeing. People who are standing still in the water making a serious concentration face are totally peeing themselves.
11. 'My Vagina Has More Sand In It Than This Beach'
Oh, all the sand. You can feel it in your butt crack. You think about all the sand you’re going to have to wash out of all your lady crevices when you get home. Oh, and if you have long hair, you’ll be washing that stuff out for the next couple days.
You bring your book to the beach. You want to read your book at the beach. You never actually read your book at the beach and spend most of the time on your phone or doing everything else on this list. It makes you sad. You should just save that read for the fall.
You spend most of the time on the beach sitting. For most of us, that isn’t the most flattering position for our mid-section. Especially at the end of summer, you’ve kind of given up on your beach bod. It’s easy to prepare for, but who wants to hit the gym in 90-degree weather. Oh, and all the BBQs. Yep, I give up.
This thought of your mother telling you to not sit in a set bathing suit is ringing through your head. That’s how you get your chichi sick. If you’re smart, you brought your spare bathing suit and some undies.
All summer walking around in your flip-flops, probably makes your feet look calloused and gross. Well, at the beach they’re all up in everyone’s face. So, you just think that hiding them in the sand is a better option.