"Oh, no-no. Me and my child don't need a seat at the table my husband died building with his bare hands. I love standing. Please, continue eating the plate I had prepared myself."
"Yeah, yeah it's not poison."
"Oh, yes. This is exactly what I meant by `bring a few friends'"
"Yes, Mr. Carver, that's exactly how they look in the wild. Headless, featherless, and COOKED. Oh, brother."
"Oh, no. I don't mind that there wasn't enough of that delicious turkey for me. I only hunted it, I never wanted to taste it- oh heavens no! I'm going to eat this delicious rotted fish I just found in this hole. No biggie!"
"Oh, don't bother standing while I pray. Please, please stay seated. I love beingthe only one giving the Lord thanks for us all not starving to death."
"No, I haven't heard how friggin' adorbs I look today like a bazillion times. Please, remind me. Pfft."
"'Help' with this heavy tray? No, thank you. I'm graciously awaiting the hernia to come."
"Oh, you meanthe formaldress code guidelinesI specifically attached to the invite?No, you didn'thave to adhere to those at all."
"No, I'm not in line for turkey. I just wanted to stare you in the fucking eyes for an uncomfortable length of time- yes! Give me some turkey, please."
"No, those aren't compound fractures in bothmy legs and no, I don't need your medical attention."
"Oh, no, these aren't your wife's feather which she may or may not have given me last night. No, not at all."
"'Is this Plymouth?' No, you passed it, sorry."
"Oh, a 'cornucopia'. This will look lovely plopped down in the middle of our spacious table. What a practical gift. Thank you."
"No, honey, we're not going to eat your first non-imaginary best friend."