"I had been dating this girl for a few months and it was Christmas time. We weren't super serious but it was serious enough that I was buying her Christmas presents. I found something for her that was perfect and it had a connection to some funny event involving her and my cat. So I made the present from the cat. I thought I was being cute and she would make the connection. Instead, she got pissed that my cat got her a present and I didn't. I thought she was joking. To make matters worse we were at her parents' place and they backed her up. It was extremely awkward and I realized it wasn't going to work out." - Reddit user dopkick. Bullet dodged!
"We were watching Django, and during the winter training montage there is a moment where the camera pans over a herd of reindeer. At that moment my ex said something about how she thought it was weird that they would include reindeer in the movie because it kind of breaks the immersion. I was confused and asked what she meant by that. She went on to explain to me how reindeer weren't real animals and just make believe like characters in a fairy tale (aka Rudolph & the rest of Santas reindeer)" - Reddit user vDukie. On the upside, at least she knows Santa isn't real!
"She got me madlibs and when it was her turn to do a noun she asked 'What is a noun' I said 'it's a person, place, or thing.' There was a long silence as she thought. It went on for so long that I thought she must be thinking of the best noun I had ever heard. Then she said 'place.'" - Reddit user tedave123. Not knowing what a noun is? That's a red flag for sure.
"When I saw her water her plastic plant for the third time.
"Edit: Dunno, the first two times I was sort of stunned and curious. The second time she actually said, 'The water goes right through.'" - Reddit user SoBeefy. That's pretty much the opposite of "third time's a charm".
"Back in 2006 my ex-wife fell for the Nigerian Prince scam, and gave out our bank account number." - Reddit user NeroJoe. Actually responding to those scams makes her one in a million. That's quite a catch! You know, the kind of catch you want to let go of right away.
"Was on a hike and was following a trail I had read up on online. We get to a fork and I say 'okay now we need to go north'. She says 'haven't we been this whole time?'. Confused, I look at her and ask why she says that. She replies 'north is the direction in front of you yeah?'
"Still not entirely sure about the origins of that logic..." - Reddit user Tork260. That's either really deep or really dumb!
"He was getting his license renewed and they asked him if he wanted to be an organ donor. He said no. When I asked why he told me it was because he didn't want the government to come knocking for any of his organs when he still needed them. He really thought that becoming an organ donor meant that, at any time, his organs could be taken." - Reddit user zeldawarriorprincess. You mean that's not how that works??
"When I asked him if he wanted an apple. He said yes, so I pulled one out of the fridge and handed it to him. He looked confused and asked me to slice it for him because he'd never eaten an apple whole before and wasn't sure how. He was 27." - Reddit user invisible-monster. Wow. He gets negative points if his mom cut up every apple he had ever eaten for him.
"Boyfriend took me to a fancy restaurant and we ordered wine. When the waiter came back, he gave my BF the cork to sniff. My BF grabbed it, sucked on it and licked it like a lollipop all excited while the waiter looked uncomfortable, poured our glasses and slunk away." - Reddit user SegoLil. Uh, was this a date or a prank show?
"She was out for a run one day and when she came back she said an animal charged at her, so she cut her run short. I asked her what it looked like, and she said, 'like a cow, but brown.' It was a cow." - Reddit user ineedyoursway. Because the animal that's most like a cow is a cow.