Most Uber drivers pick you up, take you some Del Taco, and drop you back off safely so you can go to sleep and wake up with a pounding hangover. That's basically their job description. But then there's some, like these guys, who get way, way more than they bargained for.
Like 99sstillfine, who was almost not fine when this legitimate beginning of a horror story happened to them.
"This one isn't really NSFW but it's the reason why I stopped working for Uber.
It's about 10:30pm. I get a request and accept it. It's a 20something year old girl just getting off work at a retail clothing store. She needs a ride to her home, about 35 minutes outside the city limits. Cool, long ride = more money. Get to her house, she gets out and I drive away. Now, I'm about 25+ miles away from the city so I don't really expect to get any hits out there. I'm about to head back in when I get another request. This one is another 30 minutes further outside the city limits. Hmm...maybe this person wants to go downtown. That's an hour long ride = $$$. I'm down. Start heading their way. It's a beautiful night so I cruise the whole way with my windows down.
Long, winding, narrow roads. No street lights for miles. Finally I come across the property. It's a ranch-style place. I turn in. Still no lights. Pitch black. I drive in for about two miles with no signs of a house. I'm doubting my GPS at this point. Oh well, I'm already this far. Keep going.
Oh cool, a house! No lights on. Something doesn't seem right. I swing my car around to face the exit, leave my car in drive and rest my foot on the brake, just in case, and waited for a while. Nothing. Let me give the guy a call.
He answers. Sounds confused.
'Hey, I'm your Uber driver, I'm outside. Take your time, I'm here whenever you're ready.'
"'Hmm? I'm at ###XXXXX, Texas. Your address and information comes up on my app.'
'Texas? I'm in Indiana. I've never been to Texas. Please don't charge me.' Hangs up.
In that moment, I felt the already pitch black night get darker. I turn down the radio. My window was still open and so I started listening.
You know that sound of a dirt road when somebody is walking on it? How it crunches and you can hear every step? Imagine that sound, but there are two sets of feet. And they're running. Getting louder. I look out my rear view mirror and the only light is from the red parking lights of my car.
Two men. All black clothes painted red by my brake lights. Sprinting. Getting closer. Getting louder.
I slammed on the gas, my car threw pebbles and rocks at them as I semi-burned out and I hauled ass as fast as I could out of that property. Got back on that winding road, followed it all the way to a well-lit gas station, shifted to park, and sat there, stunned. What just happened?
I tried following up with Uber. Nothing really came of it. To this day I'll always have to wonder what happened that night."
"John. The dude who made me quit Uber three weeks into the experience. 1AM, I picked him up in a group of wasted college kids, didn’t know they barely knew him. We got to our destination, everybody gets out, except John (that was his real name). I tapped to end the ride, only I realize everybody was leaving except this dude (I drove a minivan). I call everybody back to come and get their friend, but they had just partied together and knew nothing of him. We ask him where he lives, no answer. Blank look. I ask his friends to look for any ID. They found his driver’s license in his pockets – turns out his name was John and lived two miles from there. I accept to drive him for free (had ended my ride).
He lived in this upper class neighborhood; million dollar houses left and right. 2AM, I got him in front of the address on his license. Except he cannot walk, barely could stand up. I help him across the lawn to his front door, when he opens one eye and starts yelling in his drunk voice “who are you and what are you doing on my father’s property?” It is 2AM, southern US, I am black, looking like I am wrestling this blond teenager. Did I mention it was around the time the US was embroiled in the Michael Brown saga? I left him there, crossed the lawn like Usain Bolt, got into my van, made a U-turn, and slammed away. The last thing I remember seeing/hearing is John shouting something, windows lighting up and dogs barking. I got home safely and never drove Uber again."
This one comes from an anonymous user. Maybe he was afraid John was going to catch up to him somehow. We hope John's reading this and feels ashamed of himself.
This one's not a horror story, but if you're afraid of awkward situations, then it's terrifying.
"I picked up two rather tipsy couples. One guy sits up front and the other three in the back. The two girls are sitting next to each other (this is relevant, just wait for it). A few minutes into the drive and the two girls started making out while the boyfriends stare at them, enjoying the view. Mind you, they were two heterosexual couples, at least initially, so this was quite a surprise. Then the guy in the back starts making out with the girl who is not his girlfriend AND his girlfriend. All the while the other boyfriend, sitting up front with me, is half the time staring at them and the other half attempting to have a normal conversation with me. This went on for the rest of the long and awkward 30 minute drive to their apartments," wrote ImmaSpazz.
"A couple weeks ago I was heading home from my shift. It was 3AM Saturday morning, and I was about halfway home when I get a ping to pick someone up at IHOP. I figured that one more ride wouldn’t hurt. I picked the guy up, let’s call him Steve.
So, Steve gets in my car, apologizes for the ‘long trip’ we are about to have, and hands me a twenty dollar bill. I work in the Rockford area, in Illinois, and when I started the trip, his destination was in Kenosha, Wisconsin, 88 miles away. I knew it was going to be a long ride, but I figured I’d be making some decent money.
Here starts the trip, which would be 3 hours, round-trip. Ten minutes into the ride, this guy is passed out in my backseat, so I figured I’d just play some tunes and enjoy the quiet ride. Five more minutes go by, and suddenly he’s sitting upright, looks at me, and proceeds to vomit all over my floor, the back of my seat, and on my door, as well as under the passenger seat. He hands me another twenty, and passes back out, while I’ve still got over an hour to get him home (3:20 AM at this point)
It’s 40 degrees outside, and I have to drive with all my Windows down, on the highway, the whole way there. I ended up dropping him off after he vomited two more times in the same spots on my floor. Then I had to make the hour and a half trip home, alone, and cold as fuck. I got back into town at 6AM, had to wait till 8:30AM for the cleaner to open, and wasn’t home till nearly 11AM.
Not too horrible, but definitely my worst night driving," said Durgals.
At least they don't think it's too horrible. Could have been worse, right?
What greeegsays probably saved some lives. Or aided in a murderer escaping.
"I drove for Uber for a while but ended up quitting because it was a waste of time - too much sitting around in between pickups for my city. Anyways, one night I was finishing up and left the app on while I was driving home from the busy bar area around 3am and got a call. That rarely happened. When I arrived a few people ran into my car with worried looks on their faces. Apparently, someone had just gotten shot and killed in a bar.
The bar owner said this motorcycle gang couldn't bring guns into his establishment, I don't know what happened that lead to the murder but immediately I said lets get the F out of here. No, they were still waiting for one friend who ran into some bushes and we couldn't leave. 30 seconds later a dude from the motorcycle gang, standing in the middle of the street takes out his gun again and shoots at the ground - I assumed as another scare tactic. The friend comes running in luckily and I peel out with my heart racing!"
And now we bring you some happiness amongst the madness, from an anonymous user.
"I picked up a few guys that were planning on going to a friend's hotel room to drink. They brought along a garbage bag full of Bud Light. On the way there, they decided to go straight to the bar instead. When we got to the bar they left without the bag full of beers, and when I pointed that out they told me that I could keep it as a tip.
"Only drove Uber for a summer. Most memorable one was one early evening, some girl pretty much had me drive to her friend's house and directed me to park in this particular parking spot and then she told me to turn off my headlights and the car so we can't be seen. Weird thing was it was still pretty bright out before sunset. Then she just stayed there and stared at this one house. That was when I figured she was stalking someone and I told her I don't have time for this. Right then she pulled out a wad of cash $500 and smiled to me "now u got the time?".
Then some big tall ponytail looking guy came out of the house for what I think a cigarette break, and she ran out of my car to him and started screaming and literally start punching the guy. The guy was literally twice her size and looked like Khal Drogo. The guy looked like he tried to reason with her but she kept hitting him. He then quickly retreated back inside and she ran back to my car and then told me to take her home. On our drive back, she kept telling me about a handbag and some sandals she's designing comercially. I dropped her off and she paid her fare on top of the $500 cash she gave me earlier," writes sackofmangoes.
Honestly, we'd take this tip, if only to see Khal Drogo in person.
"Some friends and I ubered back later night after a party. Being intoxicated AF, my friends sitting next to me started to heave, so I, work my quick thinking, opened the window pushed him to puke outside, in the freezing February air. He did his duty and we were all thankful that he decided to puke outside. Eventually, we arrive by my house and get out. I look on the outside of the car and the puke had FROZEN all along the outside of the car by the window. The side of the car was covered in puke. We spent an hour helping the poor Uber driver clean it, by throwing hot water from inside the house and someone quickly scrubbing," said slool4.
We give them props for helping. That's a lot better than some of these people would have done. Especially Steve.
"I picked up a client who said he was on his way to the hospital to get "something" removed. It was very clear by his movements that he had something stuck in his ass. I asked if he needed an ambulance instead but he said he didn't have insurance so he couldn't afford it. After I dropped him off and helped him in, I got back in the car and looked back to find a blood stain on the seat.
The morals of the story are 1.) If you're poor, don't shove things in your ass that can get stuck. 2.) Never get light grey upholstery in your new car," said jhaddock.
If we weren't convinced to never drive Uber before, this one takes the cake. We feel very sorry for this new car.