“Gary, for crying out loud … Do you know what time it is? Barb and I were peacefully sleeping till we heard you start up that John Deer. Gary, you’ve got about two square feet of lawn back there. It can wait.”
“Oh, no. I knew I shouldn’t have ordered the VIP bottle of champagne for the table. I probably also didn’t need to participate in the taco eating competition. Now my bank account and my will to live are completely drained.”
Well, that 1,4500-sized slipper is much more useful. That slipper would make a killer sleeping bag during camping trips. And when you’re done sleeping in it, you can use it to leave monster tracks on the hiking trails to freak people TF out.
Honestly, if you squint a little bit, this could look like any two random drunk guys harassing a girl at a bar. Men and orangutans are similar in their behavior. Even wonderful Jane Goodall said that Trump’s behavior was similar to a male chimpanzee.
“This is how we do snack time in Soviet Russian household. But, every time I always last in the treat line. Why does Sergey Sealovich get to go before me? He always drunk on vodka asleep at bottom of stairs.”
Well, I’m sure the teacher won’t find any problem failing this kid, as we have this wonderful thing called the separation of church and state. Unless, this is a private Catholic school. In which case, the teacher will still fail you for trying to use Jesus as an excuse for being dumb.
Too broke to buy anything … besides Thin Mints. When will a door-to-door whisky salesman become a thing? Cause then I’d let them have all my money. Oh, and the Omaha Steak people will probably win me over, too.